Welcome to Hickstead, home to both Seven Oak Stables, and Blue Acre - two rival stables. Both offer opportunities for their clients to reach the highest level of excellence. Each stable differs from the other, so choose wisely and never forget, loyalty is everything... Meanwhile as the stables battle it out, there's trouble brewing at the university. Be careful, if you don't pick a side you may get caught in the cross-fire...
This is an chilled out rpg with a super friendly and relaxed atmosphere! Remember to sign up with your characters full name in all caps and don't forget to do your claims! Thank you and Welcome, we've been established since 10th March 2009 but unfortunately have had to close guest view of our boards due to multiple sites ripping off our hard work, such a shame! Come chat to us in Discord before joining if you like!.
The methodical feel and sound of the knife in his hand helped to settle his brain a little. He was definitely glad for the fresh air that morning, there was something about early morning air that helped to calm his mind and reset him. He'd always been an early riser, even before the army, and old habits died hard - or whatever it was. He was ingrained to rise with the sun, or before it, with or without the sound of a screaming child for assistance. There was something about cooking, though he hadn't always enjoyed it, it was a good way to quiet the brain and just focus on one thing at a time. He wasn't the best at cooking but he'd improved over the years. Having younger siblings did that to a person - you learnt to make something palatable or else you might end up wearing it, or something going to waste. Dustin couldn't stand waste, too many years of having no enough or very little did that to someone. In the end he'd gotten decent enough at a handful of dinners that were just enough to recycle on a pattern so nobody had to eat the same thing twice and he didn't have to expand past a couple of recipes.
He heard the floorboards creep. The house was a little on the old side, the consistent issues he had to fix made that clear enough, and it was impossible to tip toe without making yourself know. At least, it was if the person you were sneaking behind happened to be an old army cadet. He paused in his chopping for just a moment, debating whether to acknowledge in that second or to wait and bide time, let her come to him. He continued after a moment, finishing the first piece of chicken and picking up another. Trying to ignore the automatic wariness that accompanied the arrival of Heather's presence. He couldn't help it. Habits and emotions were learned through repeated behaviour. All him and Heather seemed to do with butt heads or argue, and his body felt ready for the fight, even as he wished it didn't.
"do you need any help?" A taste of surprise but he hid it quickly. He didn't actually need help, but he got the sense of an olive branch perhaps being extended his way. The slightest, smallest shiver of a branch, but something nonetheless. He nodded, glancing over his shoulder briefly to nod to a cupboard behind him. "Could you grab the casserole dish? And then peel some carrots for me?" He asked, having at least gotten the peeler and veg out ready. "How are you feeling?" felt like a safe question. He knew she'd been unwell, but Kara had been manning that fort and he hadn't done much more than help send up food and water or juice to keep Heather alive. It was hard, when he'd been told to back off, where the line was now drawn and how much he was allowed to show he cared.
Dustin was tired. Scrap that, Dustin wasn't just tired - he was exhausted. That cold, heavy kind of tired that sunk into your bones and dragged you down. He wasn't sleeping - not that he wasn't sleeping well, but he wasn't sleeping at all. He managed a quick hour here or there, but since the incident with Hayden, he'd found his brain impossible to switch off. He hadn't told her. She wanted him beside her every night, wanted him in their bed, but every time he laid down beside her the fear set in. He couldn't sleep. What if he hurt her again? What if he hurt their baby? Intentional or not, he would never forgive himself for it, even if she did. He often got up in the middle of the night and took a power nap before the dawn broke and woke him up again on the sofa downstairs; usually where he frequently ran into Joe.
It wasn't just that though. Joe was another of his worries. Between all the secrets he was holding back, the one's Dustin knew and the one's he knew he didn't that Joe still clutched to his chest, and the arguments with all of the family, and then his recent stunt with the meds and drink. It was enough to drive a man to the bottle, if Dustin had been prone to that kind of behaviour. Instead, he could feel everything rising in him and he didn't quite know what to do with it, where the outlet was. He felt like a drowning man trying to plug holes in a ship riddled with them, his usually calm and quiet mind a rush of panic and fear, of constant worry and stress over what was going to happen next, who was going to flip at him next, what the day would bring as he watched the sun rise over the back fence in the garden, unable to shake the image of the sun rising over the deserts he'd served and lighting the lifeless bodies of his friends.
Heather was another wonderful contended for his frantic mind. Their argument the other week replayed over and over, but he found it hard to know what to do with it. He'd made good on his promise, despite how hard it had been. It was rare to anger Dustin, but the frustration was there sometimes when he was pushed past the point of his seemingly endless patience. One too many buttons pressed with his youngest sister, he couldn't do it anymore. He'd felt spent from their constant head butted, exhausted from finding her opposing him at every turn like a petulant child. He understood it, to a point, but sometimes he just wished beyond God that she would get him in turn. Why she couldn't do things she thought she wanted. It made his experiences feel pointless if he let her go off and join the army, if he let her go off wild in the world and drop out of uni; he had done the things he'd done in life for her, for all of them, and what a pointless way to spend his life to have it thrown in his face. No, he couldn't do it anymore.
Dustin had spent the morning with his mare. He rarely rode anymore, she was a glorified lawn mower at the local yard, he paid out a small fortune for her excellent care and popped in to see her to keep an eye and fatten her with treats. It had been a small breath of air today, a small reprieve from his crowded mind but he had to return home eventually. He had work early tomorrow, and he needed to make a start on dinner. Kara was teaching and she'd passed the metaphorical ladle to him for the night. He rose from his chair at the kitchen table where he'd been stewing and bent to retrieve a couple of pans. Casserole perhaps. It was a favourite of his, something he'd grown up helping his mother to cook and it did help him settle as he got into the swing of chopping veg.
"i'm sorry." God she was lucky, so lucky, and yet it shouldn't be that way, she shouldn't have to be lucky, that his instinct had got for subduing, for the wrists rather than the throat. He'd always been a defense over offense kind of guy, likely the only thing that had saved him in these moments from not grabbing her throat or punching out instead. Perhaps it boiled down to his training, his sergeant had always taught to disarm and disable before striking out for a counter - remove the threat before you attacked. It was luck, but he hated it. "dustin, let me go." It didn't take him long to snap out of it, though the dreams and the emotions from them lingered, the shadows still there at the corners of his vision, taunting him, threatening to suck him back into the nightmares, he clicked out of his episodes quickly when he relapsed. Probably because of his mind and how quick it was to wake, to take in his surroundings and separate the real from the fake. He didn't like it though, that it had even happened, that she had to ask that of him.
He raked a hand through his hair from his place across the room, a large shudder rolled through him, starting at the crown of his head and rolling through his body. He felt tense and shaking, a mix of the fear and adrenaline still pouring from him - the dream and then waking in that way, what he had just done to Hayden. He saw Hayden sit up, and the hand that touched her stomach made his blood run cold. He should be protecting their child, not the cause of distress, not the threat to the child's life. God he could have hurt them both so easily, before he'd even known it. He always prided himself on his self control, but even he couldn't help himself when plagued by the terrors. Dustin wasn't sure if she was going to rise and he put out a hand, palm out to her, a silent plea not to come closer. Whilst he felt like he had control, he didn't trust himself in that moment.
"dustin, you didn't mean it." That didn't matter though, did it. He shuddered again and gave a slight shake of his head, having to work hard to find his voice. He swallowed and was quiet as he sifted through the mix of thoughts and tried to find his words. "Doesn't make it right." His voice was rough, anger beginning to rise - at himself for having gotten here, when he'd been doing so much better, anger that this was still an issue. "come here. please?" He glanced at her outstretched hand and involuntarily took a step back with another shake of his head. "No. I can't." He wasn't ready, and even once he shook off the terror, he wouldn't be sleeping in their bed tonight. He couldn't risk it. What if it happened again? What if next time it was worse? He already felt off, the nightmare was still there, he knew if he by some miracle managed to fallback asleep then it would only return, or another would. He would be sleeping alone tonight.
<3 HAYDEN MAY JAMES ONE SON | ONE UNBORN CHILD | ONE HORSE (ROULETTE)
"Dustin, we can't hold them!!" The voice had to shout to be heard over the constant rattling of gunfire from both sides. Dustin grit his teeth and popped back over the sill of the bare window to take aim again, ignoring the words as he kept returning fire. "Dustin!" He ignored the shout a second time, his finger on the trigger, the sound of the popping filled his head as he carried on regardless. A hand on his arm, shaking him, he frowned and ripped himself away from the sill, ducking down to avoid the returning shot that hit a little close to home. "Damn it, Francois, you don't pull that shit!" He shouted in return through clenched teeth, turning to reprimand his soldier for the reckless act - only to see his friend down on the dusty ground, both hands clutching at his neck as red spilling through his fingers. "No!" Dustin scrambled over to him, guilt swamped him for his words, for his actions. If he hadn't ignored him the first time, if he had stopped to look, if only, if only, if only. Someone else was grabbing at him then, and he wasn't sure if it was friend or foe as he stared at the cold and terrified face of his dead friend...
Someone shaking him, someone grabbing him. It all got confused, muddled in his head. He had not dreamed like this for quite some time. He used to, frequently, but unlike the others his dreams held him down and suffocated him, kept him still and silent. He often woke in a cold sweat, afraid to sleep for the paralysis they forced upon him. He'd been doing well, despite the odd hours he sometimes kept, until these arguments, until the stress. He'd found he was either having broken sleep, awash with nightmares of his time in the army, or he wasn't sleeping at all. He didn't know which was preferred. But something roused him now, and in his confusion half in the dream and half out of it, his instincts took over. He had grabbed the arm touching him and rolled so that he loomed over them, pinning both arms above their head. "Don't touch me!" A voice he rarely used, firm and cold was pulled out of him as he stared down in the dark to the shapeless face.. and then he blinked, and the gloom lifted a little - enough to see that he was pinned his girlfriend to the bed. His pregnant girlfriend. "Jesus fuck, Christ." He released her immediately and in one breath had flung himself backward; off the bed and halfway across the room. "God, Hayden, I'm so sorry."
<3 HAYDEN MAY JAMES ONE SON | ONE UNBORN CHILD | ONE HORSE (ROULETTE)
Silence fell between them for a moment as he let his brother process his words. He was glad to know something at least, about what Joe was hiding. It made him feel better to be let in on his new world, to be able to have some knowledge of his secret. He knew things were amiss, but it was like getting fresh blood from a stone - every time he tried, Joe cut him off. Not even just a little but a huge brick wall between them. Dustin was on the other side of it, trying to break through, prying off one brick at a time if he had to - if bulldozing wasn't working.
"There is nothing you can do that will make anything easier." Dustin had been afraid he would say that, it felt like a lie. "I just have to try harder to be normal. It's the only solution." He frowned at that. "It's not the only solution, and you know that." He said firmly, though not unkindly. The other solutions involved honesty, in just telling the others and accepting his new fate. There were adjustments he could make, he knew there had to be - a room downstairs for one would help, but if his brother would not accept it, there wasn't much he could do to help. Perhaps in time, he would accept it. "Come on, you should get some rest," It was been a heavy night with the weight of these admissions, and they both needed more sleep before dawn hit.
<3 HAYDEN MAY JAMES ONE SON | ONE UNBORN CHILD | ONE HORSE (ROULETTE)
He knew it was a struggle to get through to Joe, but he would keep at it, keep saying these things until his brother believed him - through and through. He had gotten through to Avery, when he had come home broken, he had saved Kara, and she had made a good life, he was getting through to Heather in some ways, but she was as much as a challenge as Joe was, in different ways. He would keep trying though, these were his family, and they were his purpose in life - to make them happy and safe. "I purposely kept you all in the dark for your sanity. I didn't want you all worrying. What happened to me was my fault and always will be. I was not the leader I thought I was..." His eyes filled with sadness at all this that he had never known, it still hurt and it would take him time to get over it, more so because if he'd known, he would have tried to do what he could to help - go back to the army perhaps to try and be there for his brother, even if it meant joining the wrong army. "We worried anyway, we always would. It didn't matter if we thought you were safer, we will always worry when you're not with us." He was family after all.
Dustin could see he wasn't going to change Joe's mind. The entire family were known for their stubbornness - a streak that ran through the family, even more so through their mother. Dustin had seen it often enough. He'd known it well in Heather. "No. I'm not ready for that," Dustin's lips turned down, a crease appearing between his brows but he understood in a strange way. "You finding out like this was not even meant to happen. It's bad enough now that you know. I was never going to tell a soul, at least... not until I felt ok. Because this whole thing, missing my leg... I don't feel right. I am not over that yet, and I don't know when I will be. I just... I'm not me. When I can look at myself again, then I'll be ready, but not now. I don't want them knowing." He pursed his lips, pressing them together as he considered his words and then he gave a small nod after a few moments of quiet. "Okay," He conceded. "I don't like it but, for now, I will keep your secret." He wanted Joe to trust him after all, and at least this way he might come to Dustin more for help. "But please, what can I do to help you? Can I make any modifications to make things better?" If he could make his adjustment to this life easier he would do it in a heartbeat.
<3 HAYDEN MAY JAMES ONE SON | ONE UNBORN CHILD | ONE HORSE (ROULETTE)
He didn't try to say anything more as he wrapped her in his arms. Sometimes, Dustin thought that he was only brought into the world as a protector for his siblings. He had found his own happiness in the form of Hayden of course, and little Dean, but he was their protectors too - of all the houses in all the places, they had come to him and he just felt that what were the chances? They had needed protection, they had needed to be safe and he had been able to give that. Love had followed naturally, but sometimes, Dustin couldn't help but believe this was what he was meant to do. As if fate knew they would lose their parents, and that his siblings would need someone to look after them, to help them. It was tough and it was testing - frequently so - but so was life, and he wouldn't have it any other way. He just wanted them to be safe and happy, it was all anyone could hope for.
"if it's not just a conversation, i'll kill them." Dustin gave a small chuckle, and let out a quiet sigh into her hair and he rubbed her back gently. "I know," he didn't like it either - how could he protect his family from another country? But he could send home money, and he could make sure they didn't try to take back Avery, and he knew they were safe from the fighting here - he would never let them come back to France, not the places where the fighting took place anyway. He released her when he felt she was ready, not rushing her to be done with what she needed to get out. She had been holding that in, there was more in that sadness and anguish than just today's news and he hoped he had helped, even if she wouldn't say what else was on her mind.
He gave her a comforting smile - or one he hoped was that at least. "dean i can manage. but you know the other three won't listen." Dustin's smile softened and he shook his head. "You? Admitting defeat?" He questioned, "That doesn't sound like the Heather I know," He tried to encourage, knowing that the family were all stubborn enough but Heather did have somewhat of an extra dose. It was why she was so difficult sometimes, always challenging him with a hard set to her jaw. So like their mother's it hurt sometimes. He released her and stayed where he was as she stepped back. "Cup of coffee?" He asked, knowing she might need it.
<3 HAYDEN MAY JAMES ONE SON | ONE UNBORN CHILD | ONE HORSE (ROULETTE)
He wasn't sure at first if he'd done the right thing, but he persevered, and as he wrapped his arms tightly around her he heard the tears begin. He felt awful for it, that tearing feeling in his heart which always tugged at him when his siblings were upset or hurt. It was a terrible feeling, to have to do this to them, but he didn't have a choice - not a logical one, anyway. He let her cling, tightening his hold a little more to make her feel secure as she pressed her face into his chest. "I'm sorry," He murmured, kissing the top of her head and gently rubbing her back. He didn't enjoy this either, he didn't want to return to the army, he loved his life here, and he loved it with his family.
Dustin didn't move, staying there with Heather in his arms for as long as it took her - once it was out, he knew she would feel better. "Nothing is going to happen. I promise." And that he would promise, he wouldn't let them take him from his family. "It's just a conversation, and then I'll be home again." He heard her sobs begin to quieten, but he still held onto her until she was ready. He had moved them from France to make his family safe, and even now he would continue with that - no matter what. Safe and happy was his ideal, but he could only do so much for them. "when the fuck will they just leave you guys alone.. "
He released her, stepping back and grasping her upper arms gently so he could hold her gaze. "I promise, it will be okay." and he meant every word, saying it with such assurance she would have to believe him. "I'll need you to hold down the fort for me here, alright? Look after Hayden and Dean for me, and make sure Avery stays in line... keep Kara on the straight and narrow." He tried to angle it that she would be his replacement, force her to take responsibility for him - he knew she would think about following and he couldn't allow her to do that.
<3 HAYDEN MAY JAMES ONE SON | ONE UNBORN CHILD | ONE HORSE (ROULETTE)
"Don't-Don't make promises you can't keep," Dustin shook his head slightly, "I will keep it, I'll never let you down, Joe." He would swear on his life to it, he had let his brother down plenty already and he would not be doing that again. "You weren't there." He deflated a little, feeling his shoulders sag with the weight of all his family sat ontop of them. He didn't know how people did it sometimes - being a sibling and a father and almost a father to his siblings, sometimes it felt impossible. "I would have been if I could, Joe. I would have been there, through it all." He wanted him to know that, he went to take his brothers face in his hands, his expression pained. "I went to the army for you, for all of you. I went to safe you all. I would have swapped my place here for yours if I could have - if I had know what was happening." He shook his head - more fool him for being taken in by the lies, for not knowing where the youngest brother really was.
Dustin frowned again when Joe wouldn't meet his eyes - he knew it was wrong, lying to the rest of them. There was so many lies already, or half truths, or loaded silences. It was tough, and Dustin didn't want this to be between them all. "I don't- I want to be normal. I don't want them to know. I don't want things to be made easier, I just want to be me again, just Joe - nothing different, They can't know. I'll tell them when I am ready - because I am not ok with this. I can't walk on my own yet, when I can do that, I'll find the time to tell them." He sat back on his heels to watch his brother speak, rubbing roughly at his own exhausted face. How old was he now? fifty? Sixty? It felt like that. "Whether you have all your limbs or not makes no difference to us. You are our brother with or without two arms and two legs, at your best or at your worst. It does not matter to us, all that matters is that you are with us again, that our family is back together again. They will only care about the half truths, the hidden truths. Please, give them a chance to prove it." He pleaded in return. He understood where his brother was coming from, he would help him get there in every way he could, but he was reluctant to keep more lies from the others.
<3 HAYDEN MAY JAMES ONE SON | ONE UNBORN CHILD | ONE HORSE (ROULETTE)
Dustin rarely cried, he didn't think he was really capable of it anymore. He felt things, he had emotions, but he always had to clamp down so hard on the one's that hit most that he didn't know if he could shed tears anymore. Whenever he was sad he had to hold onto it, had to push it down to make room for his families sadness, to be there for them - the strong one. It was so hard sometimes, and now it had made him this... not robot, but his automatic response to upset was to push it down and be calm and reasonable and try to help the other person. But he felt them now, he felt the burn in his eyes. He blinked quickly, pushing it away as he always did - Joe didn't need his tears, he didn't need to see his upset. He needed his support.
He was relieved Joe didn't pull away, he hadn't been sure about his reaction to a hug, whether he would be receptive to it. Dustin felt he needed it, let alone Joe, he needed to hold his brother in his arms and know that even if he wasn't okay he was at least safe, and to let Joe know that he was here, he was always going to be here for him. "I've got you," He promised, rocking slightly. "I've got you Joe. You're safe, I promise you're safe and nothing is going to happen to you again." It was a tall promise to make, he knew that it was almost impossible - he could cross the street and get hit - but he would do whatever it took to make sure that never happened. He'd sell his soul for it, he'd sell everything he had - because his brother came first, his whole family came first.
"N-no, Th-th-hey can't k-know." The words hit like ice and shattered through Dustin's thoughts. He pulled back so that he could look Joe in the eye. "You're asking me to keep this huge secret from them?" Dustin tensed slightly, it wouldn't be the first time he'd kept secrets but he hated it, he despite keeping things from them, even if it was for their own good. "I don't know, Joe. I don't think it's fair to keep it from them, they'll understand, they can help you. We can all make things easier for you."
<3 HAYDEN MAY JAMES ONE SON | ONE UNBORN CHILD | ONE HORSE (ROULETTE)
"You failed no one." Dustin shook his head slightly, Joe could say that all he liked, but it wasn't true. He was supposed to protect his siblings, look over them, give them the life they deserved. He had thought years ago he was doing right by turning to the army and sending the rest away overseas, but all it had seemed to do was encourage them to do the same, it had led them to danger and pain. And even now, when they were home and under his wing once again he hadn't seen enough - had missed so much of Joe's pain and struggle, and he felt ashamed for it, frustrated at himself for not realising, not doing more. He had wanted to give Joe space, and he had given him so much that he hadn't even seen what he'd missed.
Dustin held his brother's gaze as he saw similar emotions mirrored in Joe's own face - it seemed silly, they both felt guilty for what had happened, for each other, and there they were telling each other not to be. It was hard to see that through though. Joe didn't answer, and Dustin felt his stomach drop slightly, worried he had pushed too hard, had said the wrong thing - always worrying. He just wanted to know what to do to help him, to make him feel better, more comfortable. As the tears began to roll, Dustin felt his own throat clog and he coughed, trying to clear the lump. "Joe, God I am so sorry," He couldn't help it, he couldn't stand to see his brother so upset.
He had to, he couldn't sit there and watch him cry. He made it known - his intentions - as he leaned forward, arms wide, giving his brother the change to pull away if he needed to as he attempted to wrap him in a hug - a good hug. He wanted to hug him fiercely, but he didn't at first, not wanting to bring back bad memories. "I can't, I... I have to do this.. on my own. Y-you can't tell the others." Dustin shook his head, "you shouldn't do this on your own, we are always here for you, for anything you need. Let us be there.. please. The others.. they would want to know, it will make things easier to understand - to help you." He almost begged, it would be so difficult to keep such a thing secret.
<3 HAYDEN MAY JAMES ONE SON | ONE UNBORN CHILD | ONE HORSE (ROULETTE)
"I never said anything because I didn't want to further disrupt everything. Just turning up like I did already threw everything out and over for a loop. Figured I was saving everyone the trouble." He frowned and shook his head quickly, God how could he have missed this? "I have failed you as your brother," His expression twisted, frustrated at himself for what he hadn't seen. He knew Joe had been having a tough time, but he'd thought it was what it had been for all of them, he'd thought the therapy and the physio would help him get some grip on his new reality. Instead, his brother had been hiding lost limbs and appendages, had thought he was a disruption. "You did not throw anything for a loop, you are not a trouble to save us from. I am sorry you would even think so." His frown deepened in worry for what else he had missed. "You have made us whole. I felt relieved to have you home, and I know the others did too. We are so glad to see you come back to us - your family. I have been waiting for you to come back ever since you left."
It pained him to see what a mess this had become. He should have tried harder, should have reached out further to his younger brother. People were good at hiding things, but this was a lot to hide, and things that could have been helped. "I know our family had grown somewhat over the years, and it is louder now, and busier...I know that doesn't help with everything you have been through, but you are a part of this family, and we want you here... we need you here with us." He hoped it wasn't too much but he didn't want Joe to ever think that he had to feel awkward here in his own home, to feel that he was in the way. He stayed with him, watching Joe place something into his ear - he had known his hearing wasn't quite right but again, he hadn't known the extend. God, his heart hurt.
"Don't be sorry," Easier said than done. "I was the one who screwed things up. I never said about it because I am ashamed of it - everything has been a well oiled lie." He shook his head again, adamant. "You haven't screw anything up, and there should never be anything you need to be ashamed to tell me. It's me," He shrugged and spread his hands with the tiniest of smiles. He could take anything from his siblings, would hear anything. "I don't know if we've seen the same. I was never in the French Army you know that. I joined the British army, but I didn't stay in the country long. All this time when you thought I was doing Aid work in other countries, when I would tell you all I was safe and sound and away from the fighting doing other things to help people - a lie. I was over in Afghanistan. That reminds me of many things I did wrong. Reminds me that I abandoned my training, I acted without thought - with panic. I should never have run - they shot my dog first..."
Dustin stayed quiet for a moment, giving Joe his time to talk, to finally let it out. "I stepped on that fucking IED; something I'd trained for, to defuse..." Dustin's eyes were full of sorrow as his looked at his younger brother, listening to him, being there for him. All he could feel was sorrow, and pain for what he had been through, what he had left unsaid, what he had kept hidden. It was too much for him to have held in all this time, he wished he had known sooner. "We all make mistakes, especially one's born of fear, or instinct. I know that means nothing, I know that changes nothing, but you are not alone. You need to know that." His mistakes had gotten other people blown up, instead of himself. "I know we served for different countries, but is war not the same everywhere?" He sighed sadly, "Blood, death and treachery. It follows every fight." And he hated it. "It hurts to know that you lied to us, that you felt the need to. We, of all people, would understand, even with the worry for you, it plays me the fool for reassuring the others every time we worried when we didn't hear from you for some time; you were never in danger... when all this time, you've been at the front of it. And have come home so in need of support, and have not allowed us to give it - not really." He said nothing in anger, just sadness that it had gotten this far. "Will you let us help you now?"
<3 HAYDEN MAY JAMES ONE SON | ONE UNBORN CHILD | ONE HORSE (ROULETTE)
Dustin waited with his hand outstretched, knowing that it would take his brother time to focus, to come back to himself. Whatever was going on in his head was taking over right now, and there was nothing Dustin could do but wait and offer him the support when he needed it. He helped him up into a seated position, careful with his maneuvering so he didn't hurt his brother. The fall had not been graceful, he was at least likely to bruise as long as there wasn't anything worse. His whole focus and attention was on Joe, remaining crouched by his brother as he waited for what was coming. It didn't matter that he was crying, Dustin might seem made of stone sometimes but even he let the tears go at times. As unnatural as it felt.
"I can't go upstairs...I managed them when I first got home.. I got up, but I crawled down them." Dustin frowned, following his glance up the stairs and sighing, "Why didn't you say? We could have helped you settle downstairs, made a proper room for you..." Now it made sense, why he was often found asleep downstairs on the sofa. His injuries were more extensive than Dustin had known, not that Joe would talk about them for him to understand what was going on. "We're your family, Joe, we are here to help you." He promised, knowing how hard it was to ask for help but at the same time, with how much they had gone through, he'd thought they might have been close enough.
Dustin hovered awkwardly as he heaved himself into the chair with a "One, two, three." and now that he was less preoccupied that was when he saw it, saw everything his brother hadn't told him. "Oh Joe..." His heart broke then, shattered. Not only for his younger brother - too young - and what he had lost, but for how long he had hidden this from them, from all of them. Even though he knew people who had come home from war the same, even though Avery had been wheelchair bound for years. "I'm so sorry," He ran a hand through his hair, gripping it at the roots as he squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. Get it together. As he always had it together. As he always had to. He was his siblings mother and father as much as their eldest brother, he had to be together. He let out a quiet exhale and looked at Joe, apology clear in his eyes. "Why did you never say? We are brothers, we have seen the same things... you can always tell me anything. It makes you no less of a man."
<3 HAYDEN MAY JAMES ONE SON | ONE UNBORN CHILD | ONE HORSE (ROULETTE)
