Welcome to Hickstead, home to both Seven Oak Stables, and Blue Acre - two rival stables. Both offer opportunities for their clients to reach the highest level of excellence. Each stable differs from the other, so choose wisely and never forget, loyalty is everything... Meanwhile as the stables battle it out, there's trouble brewing at the university. Be careful, if you don't pick a side you may get caught in the cross-fire...
This is an chilled out rpg with a super friendly and relaxed atmosphere! Remember to sign up with your characters full name in all caps and don't forget to do your claims! Thank you and Welcome, we've been established since 10th March 2009 but unfortunately have had to close guest view of our boards due to multiple sites ripping off our hard work, such a shame! Come chat to us in Discord before joining if you like!.
The methodical feel and sound of the knife in his hand helped to settle his brain a little. He was definitely glad for the fresh air that morning, there was something about early morning air that helped to calm his mind and reset him. He'd always been an early riser, even before the army, and old habits died hard - or whatever it was. He was ingrained to rise with the sun, or before it, with or without the sound of a screaming child for assistance. There was something about cooking, though he hadn't always enjoyed it, it was a good way to quiet the brain and just focus on one thing at a time. He wasn't the best at cooking but he'd improved over the years. Having younger siblings did that to a person - you learnt to make something palatable or else you might end up wearing it, or something going to waste. Dustin couldn't stand waste, too many years of having no enough or very little did that to someone. In the end he'd gotten decent enough at a handful of dinners that were just enough to recycle on a pattern so nobody had to eat the same thing twice and he didn't have to expand past a couple of recipes.
He heard the floorboards creep. The house was a little on the old side, the consistent issues he had to fix made that clear enough, and it was impossible to tip toe without making yourself know. At least, it was if the person you were sneaking behind happened to be an old army cadet. He paused in his chopping for just a moment, debating whether to acknowledge in that second or to wait and bide time, let her come to him. He continued after a moment, finishing the first piece of chicken and picking up another. Trying to ignore the automatic wariness that accompanied the arrival of Heather's presence. He couldn't help it. Habits and emotions were learned through repeated behaviour. All him and Heather seemed to do with butt heads or argue, and his body felt ready for the fight, even as he wished it didn't.
"do you need any help?" A taste of surprise but he hid it quickly. He didn't actually need help, but he got the sense of an olive branch perhaps being extended his way. The slightest, smallest shiver of a branch, but something nonetheless. He nodded, glancing over his shoulder briefly to nod to a cupboard behind him. "Could you grab the casserole dish? And then peel some carrots for me?" He asked, having at least gotten the peeler and veg out ready. "How are you feeling?" felt like a safe question. He knew she'd been unwell, but Kara had been manning that fort and he hadn't done much more than help send up food and water or juice to keep Heather alive. It was hard, when he'd been told to back off, where the line was now drawn and how much he was allowed to show he cared.
Dustin was tired. Scrap that, Dustin wasn't just tired - he was exhausted. That cold, heavy kind of tired that sunk into your bones and dragged you down. He wasn't sleeping - not that he wasn't sleeping well, but he wasn't sleeping at all. He managed a quick hour here or there, but since the incident with Hayden, he'd found his brain impossible to switch off. He hadn't told her. She wanted him beside her every night, wanted him in their bed, but every time he laid down beside her the fear set in. He couldn't sleep. What if he hurt her again? What if he hurt their baby? Intentional or not, he would never forgive himself for it, even if she did. He often got up in the middle of the night and took a power nap before the dawn broke and woke him up again on the sofa downstairs; usually where he frequently ran into Joe.
It wasn't just that though. Joe was another of his worries. Between all the secrets he was holding back, the one's Dustin knew and the one's he knew he didn't that Joe still clutched to his chest, and the arguments with all of the family, and then his recent stunt with the meds and drink. It was enough to drive a man to the bottle, if Dustin had been prone to that kind of behaviour. Instead, he could feel everything rising in him and he didn't quite know what to do with it, where the outlet was. He felt like a drowning man trying to plug holes in a ship riddled with them, his usually calm and quiet mind a rush of panic and fear, of constant worry and stress over what was going to happen next, who was going to flip at him next, what the day would bring as he watched the sun rise over the back fence in the garden, unable to shake the image of the sun rising over the deserts he'd served and lighting the lifeless bodies of his friends.
Heather was another wonderful contended for his frantic mind. Their argument the other week replayed over and over, but he found it hard to know what to do with it. He'd made good on his promise, despite how hard it had been. It was rare to anger Dustin, but the frustration was there sometimes when he was pushed past the point of his seemingly endless patience. One too many buttons pressed with his youngest sister, he couldn't do it anymore. He'd felt spent from their constant head butted, exhausted from finding her opposing him at every turn like a petulant child. He understood it, to a point, but sometimes he just wished beyond God that she would get him in turn. Why she couldn't do things she thought she wanted. It made his experiences feel pointless if he let her go off and join the army, if he let her go off wild in the world and drop out of uni; he had done the things he'd done in life for her, for all of them, and what a pointless way to spend his life to have it thrown in his face. No, he couldn't do it anymore.
Dustin had spent the morning with his mare. He rarely rode anymore, she was a glorified lawn mower at the local yard, he paid out a small fortune for her excellent care and popped in to see her to keep an eye and fatten her with treats. It had been a small breath of air today, a small reprieve from his crowded mind but he had to return home eventually. He had work early tomorrow, and he needed to make a start on dinner. Kara was teaching and she'd passed the metaphorical ladle to him for the night. He rose from his chair at the kitchen table where he'd been stewing and bent to retrieve a couple of pans. Casserole perhaps. It was a favourite of his, something he'd grown up helping his mother to cook and it did help him settle as he got into the swing of chopping veg.
Just make sure you delete these texts after so they're never found.. I could pull my eyes out for her and it still wouldn't be enough I don't even think then...you ever seen her sleep? She's a flailer.
thanks aofie!
<3 HAYDEN MAY JAMES ONE SON | ONE UNBORN CHILD | ONE HORSE (ROULETTE)
"i'm sorry." God she was lucky, so lucky, and yet it shouldn't be that way, she shouldn't have to be lucky, that his instinct had got for subduing, for the wrists rather than the throat. He'd always been a defense over offense kind of guy, likely the only thing that had saved him in these moments from not grabbing her throat or punching out instead. Perhaps it boiled down to his training, his sergeant had always taught to disarm and disable before striking out for a counter - remove the threat before you attacked. It was luck, but he hated it. "dustin, let me go." It didn't take him long to snap out of it, though the dreams and the emotions from them lingered, the shadows still there at the corners of his vision, taunting him, threatening to suck him back into the nightmares, he clicked out of his episodes quickly when he relapsed. Probably because of his mind and how quick it was to wake, to take in his surroundings and separate the real from the fake. He didn't like it though, that it had even happened, that she had to ask that of him.
He raked a hand through his hair from his place across the room, a large shudder rolled through him, starting at the crown of his head and rolling through his body. He felt tense and shaking, a mix of the fear and adrenaline still pouring from him - the dream and then waking in that way, what he had just done to Hayden. He saw Hayden sit up, and the hand that touched her stomach made his blood run cold. He should be protecting their child, not the cause of distress, not the threat to the child's life. God he could have hurt them both so easily, before he'd even known it. He always prided himself on his self control, but even he couldn't help himself when plagued by the terrors. Dustin wasn't sure if she was going to rise and he put out a hand, palm out to her, a silent plea not to come closer. Whilst he felt like he had control, he didn't trust himself in that moment.
"dustin, you didn't mean it." That didn't matter though, did it. He shuddered again and gave a slight shake of his head, having to work hard to find his voice. He swallowed and was quiet as he sifted through the mix of thoughts and tried to find his words. "Doesn't make it right." His voice was rough, anger beginning to rise - at himself for having gotten here, when he'd been doing so much better, anger that this was still an issue. "come here. please?" He glanced at her outstretched hand and involuntarily took a step back with another shake of his head. "No. I can't." He wasn't ready, and even once he shook off the terror, he wouldn't be sleeping in their bed tonight. He couldn't risk it. What if it happened again? What if next time it was worse? He already felt off, the nightmare was still there, he knew if he by some miracle managed to fallback asleep then it would only return, or another would. He would be sleeping alone tonight.
<3 HAYDEN MAY JAMES ONE SON | ONE UNBORN CHILD | ONE HORSE (ROULETTE)
Perhaps you just have to appreciate them as they are every day - or is that a bit too sappy for men talk? No, but I can ask nicely at least, unlike an 'adorable' toddler. *sigh* when is she not being difficult?
thanks aofie!
<3 HAYDEN MAY JAMES ONE SON | ONE UNBORN CHILD | ONE HORSE (ROULETTE)
"Dustin, we can't hold them!!" The voice had to shout to be heard over the constant rattling of gunfire from both sides. Dustin grit his teeth and popped back over the sill of the bare window to take aim again, ignoring the words as he kept returning fire. "Dustin!" He ignored the shout a second time, his finger on the trigger, the sound of the popping filled his head as he carried on regardless. A hand on his arm, shaking him, he frowned and ripped himself away from the sill, ducking down to avoid the returning shot that hit a little close to home. "Damn it, Francois, you don't pull that shit!" He shouted in return through clenched teeth, turning to reprimand his soldier for the reckless act - only to see his friend down on the dusty ground, both hands clutching at his neck as red spilling through his fingers. "No!" Dustin scrambled over to him, guilt swamped him for his words, for his actions. If he hadn't ignored him the first time, if he had stopped to look, if only, if only, if only. Someone else was grabbing at him then, and he wasn't sure if it was friend or foe as he stared at the cold and terrified face of his dead friend...
Someone shaking him, someone grabbing him. It all got confused, muddled in his head. He had not dreamed like this for quite some time. He used to, frequently, but unlike the others his dreams held him down and suffocated him, kept him still and silent. He often woke in a cold sweat, afraid to sleep for the paralysis they forced upon him. He'd been doing well, despite the odd hours he sometimes kept, until these arguments, until the stress. He'd found he was either having broken sleep, awash with nightmares of his time in the army, or he wasn't sleeping at all. He didn't know which was preferred. But something roused him now, and in his confusion half in the dream and half out of it, his instincts took over. He had grabbed the arm touching him and rolled so that he loomed over them, pinning both arms above their head. "Don't touch me!" A voice he rarely used, firm and cold was pulled out of him as he stared down in the dark to the shapeless face.. and then he blinked, and the gloom lifted a little - enough to see that he was pinned his girlfriend to the bed. His pregnant girlfriend. "Jesus fuck, Christ." He released her immediately and in one breath had flung himself backward; off the bed and halfway across the room. "God, Hayden, I'm so sorry."
<3 HAYDEN MAY JAMES ONE SON | ONE UNBORN CHILD | ONE HORSE (ROULETTE)
Maybe if you can get one of those hyperbaric chambers the movies always talk about? Well she sure as shit likes to dig her heels in whenever I say something so it's in her capacity.
thanks aofie!
<3 HAYDEN MAY JAMES ONE SON | ONE UNBORN CHILD | ONE HORSE (ROULETTE)
I'm a little scared of them as they are let alone when they're older and can take back properly. I don't know, I don't think you're putting enough faith into their tough love instincts
thanks aofie!
<3 HAYDEN MAY JAMES ONE SON | ONE UNBORN CHILD | ONE HORSE (ROULETTE)