Welcome to Hickstead, home to both Seven Oak Stables, and Blue Acre - two rival stables. Both offer opportunities for their clients to reach the highest level of excellence. Each stable differs from the other, so choose wisely and never forget, loyalty is everything... Meanwhile as the stables battle it out, there's trouble brewing at the university. Be careful, if you don't pick a side you may get caught in the cross-fire...
This is an chilled out rpg with a super friendly and relaxed atmosphere! Remember to sign up with your characters full name in all caps and don't forget to do your claims! Thank you and Welcome, we've been established since 10th March 2009 but unfortunately have had to close guest view of our boards due to multiple sites ripping off our hard work, such a shame! Come chat to us in Discord before joining if you like!.
Sam sighed, head in his right hand as he left traced the words in the book one more time. Only the one hundredth time today. It just wasn't making sense today, no matter how many times he read it or how many ways he tried - maybe he should try upside down, perhaps that would help. It wasn't due for another week, he had time, but he liked to get things sorted ahead of time so he could do his best. Little teacher's pet maybe, but he'd not had the opportunities as a teenager that other people took for granted. He sighed and sat up in the chair, feeling a familiar ache settle in his neck and down his back. Glancing at the time, he realised he'd been at this for hours, which explained both the ache in his back and the ache of hunger in his stomach. He would hunt something down for a late dinner soon. Marnie would have left something out for him, he knew that, especially with her not being in to cook it for him.
He was glad they'd gone out though, he liked it when they did things for themselves rather than worry about the kids. They were old enough now - aside from Kiara, naturally - to look after themselves. He allowed himself to check his phone, smiling at the message from Heather and shooting back a quick reply to her, along with a GIF in response to Jack whinging about work. He pressed next on his playlist, needing something a little more lighthearted, and heard a quiet knock on the door. “It’s Janie, can we talk?” A little surprise for him, having thought everyone was out, but he smiled and turned in the chair. "Yeah of course, come in." Harper had always been so accepting of him, so quick to call him brother, to treat him like one. She had been the first of the family to start getting through to him when he was a scared teenager in a strange environment. He would protect her with his life, and he always had time for her. "Everything okay?" He asked. It wasn't unusual for her to come knocking, but there was something about her that seemed nervous and concern immediately flooded him.
He wondered if this was how it should have been growing up, having your dad tuck you into bed when you weren't feeling right, checking on you, bringing you water. He had missed out on it all, and it made a dull ache settle in his stomach at the thought of all those other childhood things he'd never had. He would be bitter about it for his whole life, he knew that. Every time he had an experience with Kyle and Marnie's family that reminded him of how it should have been, what he had missed out on, it brought things right back into focus. He would forever be grateful to the O'Hara's for what they'd done, for letting him in like he'd always been one of them, for showing him what a family should be like so he had a proper chance in life. He could never thank them enough.
"slowly mate." He was careful not to chug the water, but given the vomit that had just happened, and the fact that food made him feel sick again, he was in no mood to shoot the whole thing back. He gave a couple of sips and then passed it back. "that's a fever.." Which explained the shivering. Sam had had bugs before, especially growing up in such squalid circumstances, but he'd made it through. It sucked, he hated being ill, but he'd push through. "headache?" Sam gave a careful nod, not wanting to make his head throb any worse than it already did. This time he didn't flinch at the contact, expecting it with Kyle so close and clearly doing his inspections. "i'll leave you alone in a minute to sleep. i promise.... who do i ask for at starbucks? i'll ring and let them know you're not coming." Sleep sounded good, real good. Sam wracked his brain, "Uhm Ben.. Ben should be there." He managed to pull a name out of the recesses of his painful mind. Hopefully they would understand. "Tell him I'm sorry? Please?"
He watched her try to find the words, but he didn't help her. This was hers to explain, not his, and he needed to know in her own words what she meant - not try to feed her what he wanted to here. "because dustin and avery were similar when they came home.." He frowned again, he felt he was doing a lot of that, but he couldn't help it. "So?" He countered. "You can't blame yourself for this, who's to say they would all act the same. Nobody acts the same with PTSD or trauma, everyone is unique. You can't guess the actions of someone out of their right mind." He argued. He didn't like that she was blaming herself, that it was anything to do with how she had acted. "they're watching him, they know what he's going through. it's just going to take time." He sighed at that and gave Heather a look, "They're not doing a very good job then, or have they only decided to start watching him now. Is that going to be 24 hour surveillance?" Because he doubted it. Meanwhile, he would have free time to lose his mind and nearly kill another family member, or the next stranger who accidentally touched his shoulder when he wasn't prepared.
Sam knew how it felt, he had been there, through the PTSD and the trauma, he remembered all those times he had flinched when he'd done something wrong infront of Kyle, all those times he'd tensed or gone to protect himself when someone had just gone to lay a comforting hand on him. It had taken time to recover from that, and even now, on occasion when his guard was down and he wasn't feeling 100%, he still did it now. He had always gone to cower, not attack, it was the only difference between him and Joe really. He had always been a coward, not a bully, but he knew what it meant to have things hanging over you. He still couldn't condone it though, not when it put Heather at risk. "i can't argue with you sam." His return look was sad, already knowing what she was about to say, "but you're going to," He said softly. You didn't have to raise your voice to be arguing. "i know you're right." He sighed again, "but...?" He added for her, able to hear it in the quiet that followed her words.
"i grew up in a zoo, i'm pretty sure i could terrify most people with what i've eaten because someone told me i couldn't." Sam raised a brow and smiled slightly, the corners of his lips tilting up. "Ah I see, one of age old sibling razing things huh?" Not that he'd had much knowledge of that growing up, but Jack was doing pretty good at getting some of it in now. He imagined it wasn't too dissimilar from some of the things he'd experienced and seen in juvenile detention. He would have assumed siblings were slightly more pleasant and not as cruel or mean but he'd been told otherwise by people enough to know otherwise. "We'll see if you still agree in a few weeks time," He joked, after he'd found some of the weirdest things on offer.
Sam took a swig from his drink, getting more comfortable in his chair. "yeah i know that feeling." Sam glanced at Mav, seeing a look come across his face that made Sam think there were more things going on in Mav's life than he probably knew about. "some days i doubt it." Yes, clearly there were. Sam's expression softened. He knew how it felt to feel like you have nothing at all. "I promise it is, and as long as there's a roof over your head and some kind of food in your mouth, you're richer than you think." Having had neither, he knew both ends of the spectrum - now he felt like he had too much and it was hard to feel deserving of it.
"here's fine. i mean any other place is just going to be filled with other people and that sounds .. awful." Sam nodding in agreement. "Yeah good point, at least this place will quieten down a little now." Which would make studying easier. He began pulling out his books, notes and pens. "Okay, what do we do first?"
He hadn't meant to flinch but it was just one of those ingrained things that happened when you grew up the way he did - it sounded silly but it was the same with animals; they'd still anticipate pain even from people who'd never given anything of the sort. But he was at least better about it than he used to be. He didn't mention anything though, and he was relieved when Kyle didn't either. Now wasn't the time anyway, he was unfortunately, too busy chucking up his dinner from the night before. He really hated this part - why bodies had to find it necessary, he didn't know. He guessed Kyle did, but he didn't fancy asking in that moment.
He barely felt Kyle help him back into bed, too distracted by the pounding of his head and the churning of his stomach to think much more about it. "i'll get you some water." Sam gave a small nod and settled himself back on the bed properly, pulling the covers over himself as he felt a suddenly shiver come over him. It felt like ages until Kyle returned, but Sam couldn't be sure about the flow on time, it didn't seem to be moving uite right. "take a few sips, rinse your mouth." He nodded, taking the glass gratefully, "thank you." and he took a few small sips of water, feeling better once the taste was out of his mouth. He took a couple more sips to feel better and then lowered the glass back to the table, putting a hand to his pounding head with a wince.
Sam smiled at the laugh, pleased that Mav found the joke funny - he had gotten better at cracking jokes. It sounded stupid to learn so late in life that he had a sense of humour, but it wasn't until you made friends and then made them laugh that people told you you were funny, before that, his social interactions had never been nice enough to learn those kinds of things about his personality - or he thought people were making fun of him. "how about next time, bring me random food until you find something i don't eat....one's enough for now." Sam pretended to think about it for a moment and then grinned, "that could go horribly wrong for you - are you sure you don't want to back out now?" He joked, though he wasn't mean enough like some people to cross a line; not like he knew some of the people Heather called friends would do.
"another pound earned." Sam chuckled at that and gave a nod, "It's not much, but I'll take it." He said with a modest shrug. It was honest money at least, and he found the work good - he'd had much worse jobs over the years, so much so that after everything he'd been through from it, he'd take any good, honest hard work. He knew Kyle wasn't always a fan, but he didn't know how to live without working, it had been his life for too long a time. "still kicking, that's a good thing so i've been told." He nodded in response and gave a small smile at that. "It's better than not, for sure. Did you want to stay here or go elsewhere? They don't mind if we use the space as long as we tidy up after." He shrugged, not minding either way - it was warm and comfortable enough and there weren't too many distractions.
As soon as her tears surfaced he felt bad, an instant, hard flash of guilt to see her upset. "I'm sorry," he was instant to apologise, he had never been good at crying and even less so when it was people he loved and cared about. He sighed quietly and reached out for her hand, careful to give it a gentle squeeze. He felt that it was his fault she was crying, though he really hoped it wasn't. His anger was fast to fade in replace of the guilt - but he still felt confused and wanted to understand more what was going on and how everything had come to this point. "no i don't .. i." He stayed quiet, letting her work through things so she could get her words out. He knew how it felt, trying to speak and explain himself, and it was always harder when people spoke over you or tried to guess where you were going. "i should have known." He frowned, shaking his head a little, "How?" He didn't get what she meant by that. Should have known what, that her brother would have hit her? He didn't think that was fair.
"he doesn't have anywhere else." Sam frowned and gave a slight shake of his head. "I don't think it's fair to put you in that position. He is dangerous, and they're burying their heads in the sand like it's fine?" He didn't get it. He knew how family could be, he'd seen it and he felt it with his adopted family, but it meant putting one family member above the safety of others? He really couldn't get his head around that. "but he didn't mean it." Sam glanced down at their hands for a moment, gathering his words together so he could put it right. "Whether he meant it or not, it happened, and it'll happen again until he sorts his head out. What if next time he doesn't realise soon enough?" He didn't want to say it, it was too scary to say out loud - but he could kill her. "and he's my brother." Sam shook his head, "that doesn't matter. At the end of the day, blood doesn't rule all. You shouldn't have to deal with something or put up with something because he's related. It doesn't make it right." He was firm in that belief. "Too long I used that... he's my dad, I have to... but it's crap. If he was the right kind of brother, he'd work it out for himself and he'd take himself elsewhere until he was he was okay."
He could see she understood his seriousness, by the way that her face fell a little. He didn't like being this way, it wasn't his usual MO. He didn't like people feeling bad, and it was his automatic response to try to fix things, but he was hurt, and he was trying to stand up for himself for once. He was getting better at it, at being less 'people pleasing' and more, Sam pleasing. He had been worried about Heather, and he still was, but he was also upset in how this had come about; ignoring him, pushing him away, making him feel that he'd done something wrong. Okay, that part was a lot of him for how he handled things, and he needed to work on that sure, but what was someone supposed to think with the signals Heather had been giving off?
"no sam, i didn't mean to .. it's not like that." He watched her almost warily, unsure if he could believe it right in that moment. He had learned a long time ago that words meant very little and it was all about actions - she hadn't shown that she trusted him, if anything he got the sense she didn't, and that if he hadn't turned up he would have never known what was wrong. He had thought they'd gotten past the point of keeping things from each other. He'd had relationships before, but this had been his longest, and what he felt was his most serious. He'd opened up to her with things he hadn't to other people, and that was tough for him. There were things he still wasn't ready to share, things that had happened that he felt was a lot to take let alone to talk about, but if it wasn't the same for Heather, he wasn't quite sure where that left him exactly.
He wanted to hear her out though, and find out what was going on. He took a seat next to her but with a little space between them. He needed it for himself, as much as he felt that maybe she did. He wasn't sure what had happened but he didn't want to push anything; for either of them. "my brother joe, he came home a few days ago." His eyebrows rose slightly, surprised at the turn the conversation had taken - this was an unexpected start to the explanation. "Okay.." He said quietly, showing that he was with her, and listening. "he was in the army, he didn't tell us he was coming home and when i saw him i just .. i was so glad to see him i just hugged him and he wasn't ready." Now he got it. It didn't take much to twig on that. He'd met some ex-army, alongside the ex-cons he'd known. They were often quick to temper, and fast to snap. "he reacted the only way he could, it's not as bad as it looks and dustin was there to pull him off me. it wasn't joe's fault." A rush of conflicting emotions with that. "Your brother tried to kill you." It was not a question. "And you think that's okay?" He asked carefully. He wasn't sure which emotion was strongest. Anger and frustration warred heavily, unusual for him, at the brother for doing this, at Heather for thinking that was fine. "If he cannot control himself, he shouldn't be here." He didn't know where, or care, but he should be somewhere he can't hurt other people. "Contrary to popular believe, it is his fault." He gave Heather a stern look. How many times had he blamed himself for the selfish and abusive acts of others to him. "If he cannot deal with normal social interactions, he shouldn't put himself in that situation. It is not your fault. And he is dangerous."
He squinted in the brightness of the light, his pupils taking a moment to adjust as the spearing of light sent a sharp stab of pain through his head. He winced and clapped a hand to his head as if that would help stem the pain. "happens to the best of us bud, don't panic." He almost shook his head and then stopped himself, already aware that doing so was going to make him either fall over or vomit, and the pounding in his head increased despite not moving it for a moment. "I can't be late." He managed to mutter, but his ears began to ring and his voice sounded weak even to himself. He had never been late, and he didn't need this to be one of those 'firsts' people always talked about having.
"shit, sam? what's wrong." He hadn't thought Kyle was see it, it didn't feel like much of a stagger but clearly it had been obvious enough. There was a bin in his face before he could even blink, and though he didn't mean to, he flinched at the sudden touch of an arm around his shoulder. It had been some years since anyone had hit him, and Kyle had never even made a notion to, but when he was unaware or vulnerable old habits died hard and he automatically went to defend himself. "breath sam... sit down before you faint on me mate." He didn't pull away but he was busy throwing up before he knew it, too distracted by the disgusting acid burning it's way out of his throat to sit back down in that moment. It didn't take long, he hadn't eaten much last night and he clutched the bin desperately to his chest. God he hated being sick. Somehow he stumbled back until his knees hit the bed and he half collapsed onto it.
I've heard of reading between the lines but I can't see half the things they see! Yeah he is, but I feel like he's probably not the bribing type - takes it very seriously..
He watched her smell the flowers but it didn't soften things for him just yet - it didn't mean that she was okay with him or anything like that. At least she hadn't thrown them aside, and although he knew she wouldn't generally do that he still couldn't help but worry about it considering how things had been recently. He still hesitated on the doorstep even as she opened the door further, unsure if she was inviting him inside. It didn't feel like it, and things still felt stiff and awkward between them. He didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable, and he needed to know what was wrong. She might not want to do that with him in the house, though he got that she might not want to do it on the doorstep either.
"i don't supposed you'd believe me if i said that?" Sam couldn't even force a smile, his eyes tightened as he met her gaze. "Heather, that's not something to joke about." He didn't mean for his tone to change but the warmth dropped a little, having been that boy to use words like that so many times over the years whilst hiding the shit that was going on at home behind closed doors. He hated the idea that she would be doing the same. Despised it. He would do anything to change that for her if it was true. He hoped it was something innocent. She tripped and fell or a football smacked her in the face. But he knew in his gut that wasn't true.
"sam, i trust you more than anyone." that hurt, and he tried not to hide it but he didn't think he managed it. "Enough to hide from me for several days?" it wasn't like him, he knew that, but he'd spent the last few years finding himself and there was protectiveness in him, a slight stubbornness for those be cared about, a firmness that was him now beginning to look out for himself and challenge things a bit, to know he deserved better than he thought. "i can try to explain. i just need you to keep an open mind." He nodded, glancing behind her but seeing everything looked still and quiet; a good time to talk. "Okay, I need to know what's going on." he said, softening slightly as he watched her, trying to read her and gauge what was going on. He went to head inside, careful not to touch her as he did.
Sam caught the smile and returned it almost without thinking. He liked Mav, He seemed like a decent guy and though Sam had taken his usual time to relax around him, the guy seemed pretty harmless and he'd found him easy to talk to - he hadn't seemed to mind Sam's shyness at the beginning either and anyone that was kind and stuck it out whilst Sam sounded a person out and started opening up was worth their weight in gold to him. Having never had friends as a teenager he was a guy that appreciated the heck out of them as an adult. "thanks, yeah i'll eat just about anything." Sam gave another warm smile at that. "Perhaps I should test that by bringing out one or the older pastries we have to throw." he joked, though he wouldn't really do that - and they had to throw everything daily if it didn't go to keep things fresh.
"if i have any more coffee i might bounce out of the booth." Sam nodded, understanding that feeling. "Best not then, can't have you bouncing around and making a mess of the shop, I'll never finish if I'm cleaning up after you." He glanced at the patrons left he needed to finish up with. "fifteen minute's, it'll fly by." Sam smiled again, relaxing a little now Mav didn't mind. "okay cool I'll be right back!" he promised and he hurried off. It ended up only taking ten minutes for him to fix up everything he needed to and then he grabbed himself a quick coffee and his stuff and headed back over to Mav. "Right, I am here. How are you?"
Okay that's lucky because cheesy is all I've got! Yeah and look into the meaning of practically every sentence. I shouldn't really complain though - I never knew people wrote with such meaning behind it. I thought a story was just a story.
