Welcome to Hickstead, home to both Seven Oak Stables, and Blue Acre - two rival stables. Both offer opportunities for their clients to reach the highest level of excellence. Each stable differs from the other, so choose wisely and never forget, loyalty is everything... Meanwhile as the stables battle it out, there's trouble brewing at the university. Be careful, if you don't pick a side you may get caught in the cross-fire...
This is an chilled out rpg with a super friendly and relaxed atmosphere! Remember to sign up with your characters full name in all caps and don't forget to do your claims! Thank you and Welcome, we've been established since 10th March 2009 but unfortunately have had to close guest view of our boards due to multiple sites ripping off our hard work, such a shame! Come chat to us in Discord before joining if you like!.
Sam was concerned. No, scratch that, Sam was more than just concerned, he was anxious - that gut gnawing, can't eat, can't sleep kind of anxious. Something was wrong and he didn't know what it was, or what he had done, but he had clearly done something to upset Heather and now she didn't want to see him. She hadn't quite said it in that way, and he thought she was maybe trying to spare his feelings for some reason, but she had told him not to come round. They had texted, but she hadn't been answering his calls - and he was embarrassed to admit there'd been a fair few, and after the seventh she'd text him to say she couldn't answer, but that she was fine. He'd wanted to see her, to meet up, and then that's when she'd started to say no. She was busy, she couldn't, Dustin wouldn't let her out for some reason. It was one excuse after another and he didn't 100% buy it when it reached the third day.
He hadn't seen her on campus either, not even from a distance - nobody had - so now he was really worried. Something had to be wrong for her not to go to class, she didn't generally skip, that he knew anyway. He just wanted to know what it was so he could fix things. He'd thought he should come prepared, like in the movies how they did it - so he brought a bunch of pretty flowers, her favourites, and a big box of chocolates. Whatever it was, he'd make it right. He hadn't told her he was coming, he hadn't wanted to see a text that told him not to, but he was scared he was doing the wrong thing by turning up. Maybe this was too much, maybe he was going to get called a stalker for this. Swallowing hard, he reached up to ring the doorbell, shuffling nervously on the top step whilst he waited for someone to answer.
heather tugged at her sleeve as she settled down on the couch after getting up to get some water. it had been a few days since her incident with joe but she was still feeling the effects from it. she'd been checked out on the night and the verdict had been a not so mild concussion but nothing that was serious enough to require her to stay in hospital. just painkillers and the advice that they needed to watch for the usual problems and then other than that it was bruising. she still had something of a dull ache at the back of her head but other than that she was feeling pretty much back to normal. it was the bruising that was the problem, her cheek was still an ugly shade of purple, though it was turning yellow around the edges as the days went on and the finger marks on her throat were only just starting to fade, so she'd hidden from the world because of it. questions would be asked and she wasn't about to throw her brother into the deep end with it. there was no way of keeping something secret in this town, people always figured it out in the end so she thought if no one saw it, no one could spread it around. but that had meant lying to sam and that was something that had been eating her up inside.
she'd tried to be as gentle as possible when she'd said she couldn't see him all those times, tried to explain it in a way that worked but she'd been running out of excuses. there was only so many times she could sat dustin had caused a family meeting or something. she'd actually thrown her phone at her siblings a few times when he'd rung because it had taken her voice a few days to come back to a somewhat normal and she hadn't wanted to let anything on. she was about to pick her book up from the table in front of her when the doorbell rang and she frowned a little. she wasn't wearing a high necked shirt so her bruises were visible, because she hadn't been expecting to see anyone who didn't know what had happened but maybe it was important. like a parcel or letter for her siblings that they needed her to take in. she could do that. she could open the door a crack and take a letter or box and stay in the shadows. she chewed her lip as she walked to the door, taking something of a deep breath before she opened the door a crack, expecting to see the postman there. instead, it was "sam?"
At first he wondered if nobody was home. He couldn't hear any signs of movement from the house, and there were no cars in the driveway - but considering how busy the house was he had assumed someone would be in; at least Heather considering she was avoiding him. Or perhaps she wasn't home and that was why she was putting him off. He didn't think she would be like that, she wasn't a mean girl or a bitch, she was nice and she was usually pretty straight up from what he felt he knew about her. He shuffled nervously on the top step and was just considering leaving the items on the top step and heading home to wait again when he heard it - the door finally opening. Sam had just started to worry Heather might have seen him and decided not to answer because it was him, but whilst he felt relief that at least someone was here and might answer his questions, his nerves returned tenfold at who it might be and if he was going to get sent away.
"sam?" He let out a breath, part of him hadn't actually expected to see her and he was rushed with emotions - unsure if he could pick out one from another in the churning mass. "H-hey," He said nervously, shuffling again on the top step and then thrusting out the flowers with a flush of his cheeks. "There's are for.. you-" He cut off when he saw them. He had been so anxious to see her and then so surprised that he hadn't caught them at first, and his words halted in his throat. Another surge of emotions, some familiar and some more alien - he rarely felt anger, so squashed down by fear and anxiety as had been conditioned into him from such a young age. But there it was, that rush, that beat of protectiveness that he was only now understanding with his family and friends. "Who did this to you?" He asked, the stutter gone, the anxiety fading, replacing his expression with a frown of concern.
these last few days had been just about hell for her. not being able to tell sam why she couldn't see him, why he couldn't come in and see her face. but she'd known it would raise questions and she didn't want them asked. she didn't need people thinking joe was violent or had hurt her on purpose. it was the furthest thing from the truth but people didn't think like that. they saw bruises and they judged. not that she thought sam would judge joe but it's the questions and the answers she'd have to say she didn't want to have to do. she tried to adjust her hair as she walked towards the door, doing her bast to make it sit across her eye so if it was just a parcel she could reach out, grab it and close the door before anyone on the other side could see it. being a small town the delivery man would without a doubt know someone she knew and the gossip would be everywhere by that evening.
but it wasn't a delivery man. it wasn't a wrong house and it wasn't someone who was there for a quick look and then gone. it was sam. she felt the lump rise in her throat as she saw him standing there, her heart started pounding in her chest but it wasn't from fear or worry, it was because it always did when she was around him. her heart raced, her stomach fluttered and she just about lost any ability to form sentences when he smiled at her. but there was no smile today, it was just the look of worry and she felt so bad for putting it there. she was forced to open the door more than a crack when he thrust the flowers at her and she reached for them quickly, grabbing them gently as she looked back up at sam as she heard him cut off. he'd seen it. she swallowed and fumbled with the flowers, trying to take a step back into the shadow of the house but it was too late. "no one sam, it was no one. i promise." she said as she chewed her lip as she tried to think of what to say but she was at a loss. "please trust me." she almost begged as she gripped the flowers tight enough her knuckles started turning white out of almost desperation.
He released his hold on the flowers as she took them, thinking it had to be a good sign that she didn't throw them back in his face, or just throw them away at all. Though Heather wasn't his first girlfriend, he would consider her his first serious one. He didn't have great experience with girls even despite the handful he had dated before her, if anything it had frustrated him how some girls had fawned because they thought him sweet and shy and something they could mold to suit them - he was quiet but not stupid and he didn't feel like he needed changing. Heather was different, they had been friends for so long first it made things feel different, more real, and he wanted things to go right - but she was tough to figure out sometimes and he had to work hard to keep up with her. Like now, he couldn't be sure what he'd done or if he'd done something but he was sure that he had or something was wrong. Naturally, seeing her bruises made it clear but now he didn't get why she was hiding from him.
"no one sam, it was no one. i promise." Sam frowned, "So you did it to yourself?" He asked, wondering how or why she was do that. He thought that sounded like rubbish, but 'no one' couldn't give bruises like that. "Who are you protecting?" He asked. Had she been seeing someone else and that person had hurt her? He didn't know if they were exclusive; he had assumed as such but stupidly never spoken to her properly about it. "please trust me." He shook his head slightly, "Trust you on what? I don't understand..." and he didn't - what was she asking him to trust her on, she hadn't said anything.
once the flowers were in her hands she buried her head into them softly and took them in, taking in the smell of them, the softness of the petals and the kindness behind the act of bringing them. she also took the time to collect herself a little. this wasn't a conversation she'd wanted to have, she wanted to spare sam the family drama and any worry he might have about the situation and because if there was one thing heather hated doing, it was admitting weakness. she lifted her head after a second and she let the door open all the way as they both stood there and as much as she wanted to throw herself into his arms and hold onto him for the next month she resisted the urge, at least for now. she felt the side of her mouth lift into a small smile, "i don't supposed you'd believe me if i said that?" she tried to joke but she knew it fell flat. it wasn't something to joke about and she knew that sam was much smarter than that.
who was she protecting? someone very important to her. her brother. things were rocky and difficult but she loved him, there was no way she could deny that. he didn't need anyone finding out what had happened because it hadn't been his fault. it had been hers but she doubted that anyone would believe her if she tried to say that. "sam, i trust you more than anyone." she meant that, with everything she had. he was the one who was healing her heart, her main reason for smiling these days and the one person she always wanted to be around. she just didn't want to cause him any upset. even though she knew that she had over the last few days. the fact he'd been worried about her had been clear by the times one of her siblings had answered the door or the phone to him.
it was enough to tear her up inside but she hadn't known what else to do. "i can try to explain. i just need you to keep an open mind." she said as she reached to take his hand gently, wanting to lead him inside so they could talk on the couch. she couldn't very well send him away now he'd seen her bruises and she owed him the truth, even if she didn't know how to explain it very well.
He watched her smell the flowers but it didn't soften things for him just yet - it didn't mean that she was okay with him or anything like that. At least she hadn't thrown them aside, and although he knew she wouldn't generally do that he still couldn't help but worry about it considering how things had been recently. He still hesitated on the doorstep even as she opened the door further, unsure if she was inviting him inside. It didn't feel like it, and things still felt stiff and awkward between them. He didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable, and he needed to know what was wrong. She might not want to do that with him in the house, though he got that she might not want to do it on the doorstep either.
"i don't supposed you'd believe me if i said that?" Sam couldn't even force a smile, his eyes tightened as he met her gaze. "Heather, that's not something to joke about." He didn't mean for his tone to change but the warmth dropped a little, having been that boy to use words like that so many times over the years whilst hiding the shit that was going on at home behind closed doors. He hated the idea that she would be doing the same. Despised it. He would do anything to change that for her if it was true. He hoped it was something innocent. She tripped and fell or a football smacked her in the face. But he knew in his gut that wasn't true.
"sam, i trust you more than anyone." that hurt, and he tried not to hide it but he didn't think he managed it. "Enough to hide from me for several days?" it wasn't like him, he knew that, but he'd spent the last few years finding himself and there was protectiveness in him, a slight stubbornness for those be cared about, a firmness that was him now beginning to look out for himself and challenge things a bit, to know he deserved better than he thought. "i can try to explain. i just need you to keep an open mind." He nodded, glancing behind her but seeing everything looked still and quiet; a good time to talk. "Okay, I need to know what's going on." he said, softening slightly as he watched her, trying to read her and gauge what was going on. He went to head inside, careful not to touch her as he did.
she knew she'd hurt him, her siblings had told her to talk to him but she hadn't been able to bring herself to. there was this image she liked to put out there, that she could handle anything life through at her, that nothing brought her down and there wasn't anything that could hurt her but it was just a facade. she tried to hard to keep it up and she hadn't been able to this week. she'd been the cause of what had happened to her, she knew that there would be people out there that wouldn't have understanded it and she hadn't wanted to put that onto sam. for him to need to understand it. she had been feeling a gut wrenching guilt over it but it had been the only option she'd seen working. and now that he was standing there, worried it had been something he'd done well that just made the guilt fill her even more.
she knew it wasn't something to joke about but she couldn't help it. smile it away, brush it away, act like it hadn't hurt her. it's what she did normally, at least when it came to things outside of her family. she couldn't act like that with her family, her constant clashes with her older brother were a symptom of that but she was trying to be better, to stress him less. she didn't enjoy fighting with him, though she wondered if he thought she did. she just chewed on her bottom lip lightly as she nodded her head, hearing the change in his voice and knowing that he was serious.
she looked up quickly at that and she shook her head quickly. "no sam, i didn't mean to .. it's not like that." she said, wanting to step forward and throw her arms around his neck, to hold onto him as tightly as she could until he understood that it hadn't been about her not trusting him, it had been about her not wanting him to think badly of her brother. she stepped back a little as he stepped inside. she had to tell him, there was no backing out now, but she didn't know what he was going to think. the one thing she needed to stress was that it wasn't joe's fault.
she stepped back into the living room, taking a seat on the sofa and leaving him enough space to sit down next to her if he wanted to. she still held the flowers in her hands, not sure if she was half hiding behind them or if she didn't want to let them go because they felt like a lifeline to sam in that moment. "my brother joe, he came home a few days ago." she started softly, her fingers moving to touch one of the petals lightly, as unsure as she'd ever looked while she'd known sam. "he was in the army, he didn't tell us he was coming home and when i saw him i just .. i was so glad to see him i just hugged him and he wasn't ready." she took in a breath and she looked up at sam. "he reacted the only way he could, it's not as bad as it looks and dustin was there to pull him off me." she said as she shifted slightly on the couch, the feeling of her brother's hands around her neck flooding right back to her. "it wasn't joe's fault."
He could see she understood his seriousness, by the way that her face fell a little. He didn't like being this way, it wasn't his usual MO. He didn't like people feeling bad, and it was his automatic response to try to fix things, but he was hurt, and he was trying to stand up for himself for once. He was getting better at it, at being less 'people pleasing' and more, Sam pleasing. He had been worried about Heather, and he still was, but he was also upset in how this had come about; ignoring him, pushing him away, making him feel that he'd done something wrong. Okay, that part was a lot of him for how he handled things, and he needed to work on that sure, but what was someone supposed to think with the signals Heather had been giving off?
"no sam, i didn't mean to .. it's not like that." He watched her almost warily, unsure if he could believe it right in that moment. He had learned a long time ago that words meant very little and it was all about actions - she hadn't shown that she trusted him, if anything he got the sense she didn't, and that if he hadn't turned up he would have never known what was wrong. He had thought they'd gotten past the point of keeping things from each other. He'd had relationships before, but this had been his longest, and what he felt was his most serious. He'd opened up to her with things he hadn't to other people, and that was tough for him. There were things he still wasn't ready to share, things that had happened that he felt was a lot to take let alone to talk about, but if it wasn't the same for Heather, he wasn't quite sure where that left him exactly.
He wanted to hear her out though, and find out what was going on. He took a seat next to her but with a little space between them. He needed it for himself, as much as he felt that maybe she did. He wasn't sure what had happened but he didn't want to push anything; for either of them. "my brother joe, he came home a few days ago." His eyebrows rose slightly, surprised at the turn the conversation had taken - this was an unexpected start to the explanation. "Okay.." He said quietly, showing that he was with her, and listening. "he was in the army, he didn't tell us he was coming home and when i saw him i just .. i was so glad to see him i just hugged him and he wasn't ready." Now he got it. It didn't take much to twig on that. He'd met some ex-army, alongside the ex-cons he'd known. They were often quick to temper, and fast to snap. "he reacted the only way he could, it's not as bad as it looks and dustin was there to pull him off me. it wasn't joe's fault." A rush of conflicting emotions with that. "Your brother tried to kill you." It was not a question. "And you think that's okay?" He asked carefully. He wasn't sure which emotion was strongest. Anger and frustration warred heavily, unusual for him, at the brother for doing this, at Heather for thinking that was fine. "If he cannot control himself, he shouldn't be here." He didn't know where, or care, but he should be somewhere he can't hurt other people. "Contrary to popular believe, it is his fault." He gave Heather a stern look. How many times had he blamed himself for the selfish and abusive acts of others to him. "If he cannot deal with normal social interactions, he shouldn't put himself in that situation. It is not your fault. And he is dangerous."
as much as she tried to fight them, she couldn't help the tears that sprang up in the corners of her eyes at his words. your brother tried to kill you. the feeling of helplessness she'd felt in the moment came rushing back, the fear that she'd felt in the moment, she could remember it. the absolute terror of thinking that she was going to die had been enough to keep her awake at night since but she couldn't tell anyone. they had to think she was fine. she needed them all to think she was fine. she blinked the tears in the corners of her eyes away, refusing to let them fall and hoping that sam was too mad to see them and she shook her head slightly. "no i don't .. i." heather wasn't often lost for words. she wasn't often unsure of what to say and she was hardly ever unsure about her opinions on things. she was loud, she was confident and she was normally so sure in her resolve that this feeling of not being able to explain, not being able to talk her way out of if or talk sam into thinking it was okay was confusing her. "i should have known." was the best she could come up with. she'd seen avery and dustin come home, go through what joe was going through. she should have remembered.
"he doesn't have anywhere else." and they wouldn't let him go anywhere else. he might have been struggling but he still belonged here at home with them, she without a doubt thought it was still the best place for him, regardless of what had happened and how she was feeling. she didn't expect sam to understand that but she could see where he was coming from, she could understand it. if their roles were reversed she'd be the same, she'd be ready to throw hands if someone was hurting sam. it was just one of those situations where there was no good and bad, only bad and worse. "but he didn't mean it." it might have been her brother's hand but it hadn't been her brothers choice, at least not the brother she remembered. she didn't know how to make this sound better than it was, to explain it in a better way that would put sam at ease, or herself at ease, because really there was no way to, but it didn't stop her brain from trying to piece together an explanation that was better than anything she'd come up with so far. "and he's my brother." was what it settled on, because to her, it was what it all boiled down to.
As soon as her tears surfaced he felt bad, an instant, hard flash of guilt to see her upset. "I'm sorry," he was instant to apologise, he had never been good at crying and even less so when it was people he loved and cared about. He sighed quietly and reached out for her hand, careful to give it a gentle squeeze. He felt that it was his fault she was crying, though he really hoped it wasn't. His anger was fast to fade in replace of the guilt - but he still felt confused and wanted to understand more what was going on and how everything had come to this point. "no i don't .. i." He stayed quiet, letting her work through things so she could get her words out. He knew how it felt, trying to speak and explain himself, and it was always harder when people spoke over you or tried to guess where you were going. "i should have known." He frowned, shaking his head a little, "How?" He didn't get what she meant by that. Should have known what, that her brother would have hit her? He didn't think that was fair.
"he doesn't have anywhere else." Sam frowned and gave a slight shake of his head. "I don't think it's fair to put you in that position. He is dangerous, and they're burying their heads in the sand like it's fine?" He didn't get it. He knew how family could be, he'd seen it and he felt it with his adopted family, but it meant putting one family member above the safety of others? He really couldn't get his head around that. "but he didn't mean it." Sam glanced down at their hands for a moment, gathering his words together so he could put it right. "Whether he meant it or not, it happened, and it'll happen again until he sorts his head out. What if next time he doesn't realise soon enough?" He didn't want to say it, it was too scary to say out loud - but he could kill her. "and he's my brother." Sam shook his head, "that doesn't matter. At the end of the day, blood doesn't rule all. You shouldn't have to deal with something or put up with something because he's related. It doesn't make it right." He was firm in that belief. "Too long I used that... he's my dad, I have to... but it's crap. If he was the right kind of brother, he'd work it out for himself and he'd take himself elsewhere until he was he was okay."
"how" she knew it was difficult to explain but she should have known. he wasn't the first brother to come home and struggle being around the family. "because dustin and avery were similar when they came home.." she knew it wasn't an explanation and she knew that it wouldn't be a good enough reason for sam but she didn't have another one. she just should have known, that's what she felt deep inside and she couldn't change it. it wasn't joe's fault. it was hers. "i don't think it's fair to put you in that position. he is dangerous, and they're burying their heads in the sand like it's fine?" she wished she could reassure him that there was no way her brothers were sticking their heads in the sand about what joe had done or the fact he could do it again. "they're watching him, they know what he's going through. it's just going to take time." she said as she bit her lip, knowing that she was doing an absolute shit job of explaining this and trying to put his mind at ease. she didn't do good with vulnerable, she never knew what to say.
she listened to him as he spoke, taking in his words and knowing that he wasn't wrong in what he was saying. she knew that if it was one of her friends that had been going through the same thing she'd have told them to tell their brother where to do, she'd have given sam the same advice. but she was so terrified of losing her brother over this, for alienating her other family if she didn't want to have joe around. it was a hard situation for them all and there was no perfect solution, they couldn't turn him out on the street, not when he wasn't right. "i can't argue with you sam." she said softly as she shifted a little on the couch and she looked at him. "i know you're right." she just didn't know what to do, how to be anything other than defensive of her family. they were her everything and she'd die on many a hill for them. she shifted slightly again, this time towards him as she tucked herself against his side, her head resting gently against his chest. right now all she wanted in that moment was to feel his arms around her. like somehow she knew that once they were, everything would be okay.
He watched her try to find the words, but he didn't help her. This was hers to explain, not his, and he needed to know in her own words what she meant - not try to feed her what he wanted to here. "because dustin and avery were similar when they came home.." He frowned again, he felt he was doing a lot of that, but he couldn't help it. "So?" He countered. "You can't blame yourself for this, who's to say they would all act the same. Nobody acts the same with PTSD or trauma, everyone is unique. You can't guess the actions of someone out of their right mind." He argued. He didn't like that she was blaming herself, that it was anything to do with how she had acted. "they're watching him, they know what he's going through. it's just going to take time." He sighed at that and gave Heather a look, "They're not doing a very good job then, or have they only decided to start watching him now. Is that going to be 24 hour surveillance?" Because he doubted it. Meanwhile, he would have free time to lose his mind and nearly kill another family member, or the next stranger who accidentally touched his shoulder when he wasn't prepared.
Sam knew how it felt, he had been there, through the PTSD and the trauma, he remembered all those times he had flinched when he'd done something wrong infront of Kyle, all those times he'd tensed or gone to protect himself when someone had just gone to lay a comforting hand on him. It had taken time to recover from that, and even now, on occasion when his guard was down and he wasn't feeling 100%, he still did it now. He had always gone to cower, not attack, it was the only difference between him and Joe really. He had always been a coward, not a bully, but he knew what it meant to have things hanging over you. He still couldn't condone it though, not when it put Heather at risk. "i can't argue with you sam." His return look was sad, already knowing what she was about to say, "but you're going to," He said softly. You didn't have to raise your voice to be arguing. "i know you're right." He sighed again, "but...?" He added for her, able to hear it in the quiet that followed her words.
