Welcome to Hickstead, home to both Seven Oak Stables, and Blue Acre - two rival stables. Both offer opportunities for their clients to reach the highest level of excellence. Each stable differs from the other, so choose wisely and never forget, loyalty is everything... Meanwhile as the stables battle it out, there's trouble brewing at the university. Be careful, if you don't pick a side you may get caught in the cross-fire...
This is an chilled out rpg with a super friendly and relaxed atmosphere! Remember to sign up with your characters full name in all caps and don't forget to do your claims! Thank you and Welcome, we've been established since 10th March 2009 but unfortunately have had to close guest view of our boards due to multiple sites ripping off our hard work, such a shame! Come chat to us in Discord before joining if you like!.
Shaun's gaze was long gone to somewhere beyond the road, to some distant point that no one would've been able to follow. Despite the cool weather, he sat in the beat up old sofa on the front porch in a thin shirt and jeans that had seen better days, just staring at some unknown space.
He was vaguely aware of the fact he'd been crying at some point, but he made no move to attempt to clear them. He'd seen the boys off, and now alone at the house, he did what he could until his shoulder couldn't keep up with him anymore. He hadn't achieved as much as he wished, but the physical pain that was radiating from the area was too much to continue working with.
He held himself awkwardly, legs drawn up underneath himself and ignored the sounds of his stomach growling. His will to eat anything was dead. He was tired but he refused to sleep, trying to mend the rickety and broken bridges with his sons. He'd lost almost fifteen kilos since he'd given up the drink, but he was more sure that it was the fact he was barely eating anymore that was also working against hm. His clothes didn't sit right, and when he looked at himself in the mirror there was a hollow shame that accompanied him, but he couldn't dwell on that. It wasn't about him. He had to pull it together for his sons. Had to be there for the younger ones, force a smile and pretend that he was fine.
He felt the tears prick his eyes again. He was such a failure of a father, of a husband... the anxiety just thinking about how to deal with Keith anymore liked to rear its head, and the depression was a constant lead weight on his heart. He was falling apart quickly at the expense of trying his best to maintain and improve what he could. He knew his sons would never really accept his apologies. That he was sorry everything went upside-down. Fresh tears rolled down his cheeks but he didn't wipe them away. This was just how it was meant to be now.
He let his head fall back against the back of the sofa and shut his eyes, struggling for a moment to swallow the tightness in his throat. A faint sound, broken and choked escaped as his chest shuddered, struggling for air. Pathetic... so pathetic... He could feel his body shaking again, the uncomfortable burn as he tried to stifle the sounds that kept getting free. He brought a hand up to his mouth, covering it, a physical barrier doing nothing to help as he wrapped his other arm around his chest, fingers digging into his ribs... desperate to make it stop and failing.
"And nobody's doubting that you're not trying to get Jace to the doctors."
Shaun let his eyes close as Stephen spoke, deciding to let it be. He had no energy to actually argue the point like he would've normally. The world was just too much of a swaying bastard to actually focus.
"Maybe I can help out next time you want to take him."
"Dad, you're in no condition to find Jace. If he knocked you out earlier over something, well, I don't think he wants to see you. And maybe...he just needs somebody different to talk to."
Shaun grunted, words dying as quickly as they formed. Doesn't want to see you... needs somebody different...
"Perhaps he does," he huffed, "Anyone that isn't a fucking Breckah..."
His voice didn't have the usual venom in it that usually did when he was mad. Instead it was almost like he was disappointed in the name. Carefully he held his head in his hand, fighting the nausea creeping up on him.
"Huh, we may be in luck and they can see you right away. Looks like its a quiet nice so far."
When the car stopped, it took him a moment to register the fact before he was fumbling to undo his seat belt and open the door. Getting out was another matter altogether - it was like watching a blind drunk trying to use their legs, and it was taking Shaun a considerable amount of effort to co-ordinate himself enough to stand up. But he got there after several long moments, wincing as the car door shut.
"Alright," He responded with a shrug. "And because there seems to be an air about you like there's been trouble."
Derek wasn't wrong and Shaun knew it - how often was it that the house was actually calm and content? It was such a rare thing that he doubted that it existed at all, but even so, the fact that it was the first thing that Derek thought of stung just a little. And that fact there was 'an air' about him also wasn't too far wrong, it just wasn't what his son thought it was but what point was there in explaining it to him? Derek had always been the logical one, practically driven by it and rarely if ever emotion. So how could he explain what he was feeling to a young man that he doubted would care about it? Who would simply wash it aside as if it were simply laundry.
"Can't a man be tired?" he asked softly, no hostility about him as he set his drink on the side table. If only you could understand the tiredness I feel...
"I brought Chinese, you hungry?"
Carefully, he made faint dismissive gesture as he rubbed at his face, "Uh- no, no I am good. I'd just put it aside for the boys to pick at."
He almost added how much his sons were like buzzards in regards to food, but somehow he couldn't even make the light hearted joke. It felt like what little teasing he'd ever done was now a no go for any of his sons.
Shaun's eyes were almost fully shut as he sat there - a short nap couldn't hurt right? Just a few minutes, that's all it would be. He had things to do. Had to do. Couldn't be avoided. Yet no sooner did he feel like he was about to slip off, the sound of feet brought him back to the present, almost like a paranoia-trigger - was it Jace?
He sat up a little straighter once he recognised Derek approaching like he was a hazardous snake in the way.
"What's happened?" He asked.
He quirked a tired brow, "Why does anything need to have happened?"
He sipped the drink before setting it on the small timber table beside the couch, "And no, before you ask - there is no alcohol in it."
He turned his full attention to Derek, trying to read his face, "What's brought you around tonight?"
"And how the fuck are we going to make Keith pay for it?"
"So Jace is gone? Where did they take him? Was it Keith!? Can we go get him? They can't stop us right .. I mean we're his family and this is his home .. they can't just take him! They have to let us bring him back."
”Mate, you’re bleeding..” ”Fucking Keith apparently made himself Master and Commander of this family when he’s not even in charge of the damn ship.”
"Just let dad speak."
"Someone care to fill me in?"
Shaun got up from his chair and went over to Creven, gently ushering him over to the sink and turned on the tap, "Put those hands under the tap Crev, please."
He moved over then to the fridge and pulled the first aid kit from on top of it and went back over. He took a deep shuddering breath as he collected his thoughts - they were all a massive jumble, so many questions that wanted to be answered by boys who felt the need to either leave or go to war over the situation.
"I will condense the explanation on account there are some things that should be left out due to younger ears, as well as the fact that in the bigger picture does not need immediate family addressing," he said as calmly as he could manage whilst making very clear he would not be budged on that - there were just some things that needed not come out right now, "The last two months, I've been trying to get Jace to go into a doctor - really, anywhere that would be able to assist; and there are two main reasons for that. The first being that Keith decided to put a deadline on everything, as well as the fact that Jace has... at least three times previous, knocked me unconcious and acted out in overly violent ways - more so than usual."
He rumagged through the first aid box, trying to keep his hands busy, "Today was the end of deadline and Keith had told me he would bring in his own form of help, which he did. Multiple police and medical professionals entered the house and removed Jace by force, and I won't deny my temper was there to boot. After Jace was taken out of the house, Keith informed me that he had full Judge permission to remove Jace, and that the only way we can go and visit him is by contacting Keith... who will determine who can visit and when..."
Gently he ruffled Creven's hair, "So yes, Jace is gone and there is currently no way of getting him back - Keith decided to step in. Under no circumstance whatsoever are any of you to start head-hunting Keith, and I mean it - first one to stir shit up with Keith is going to be in bigger trouble with me. I understand if anyone present wants to leave or otherwise step away from the family as a whole, I will not hold it against you. And if you do decide to step away from this entirely, you are still a Breckah and no Breckah gets left behind."
Shaun's smile was fragile as he remembered those days, "Not quite. In the beginning your mother was a little more quiet, a little more... softly spoken. She was always worried that Father Eugene would tell our parents, but after a little bit, she gained confidence, became... free in a sense."
Gods they had been young and stupid and so wildly, blessedly in love he'd once thought that the only thing that could stop them was the Devil himself. And even then he would've battled like he was the only man on Earth to keep her, and would dance over fired coals to spare her the pain of walking them herself. How far they'd come... How broken his heart...
"You're not poison dad."
Shaun looked at Creven and gave a wry smile only a father could give his youngest, "Oh Crev, never lose that optimism."
"How about we go together?"
"We can do that if you want to do that, though I warn you - it'll be a long and tedious venture."
"Close, you got the ball part right." He teased gently. "Hockey and Soccer. We have a game next weekend, you can come if you want?"
Shaun chuckled softly, "At least I got something right. I will definitely be going to your game. You give me the time and place and I will be there. Promise."
"Wait .. whose Elise?"
He paused, blinking - almost reeling, "Just... Just a little girl who isn't with her family any more..."
I see. When you see Jace next, ask him which posters he wants - I don't want to bring the wrong ones, nor do I know what posters are what. I haven't gone into his room.
I'll ask the rest of the family and see if any of them want to come along, though something tells me the odds of that happening are not great.
I'll just put everything into a dot-point format to make everything easy to read. Only members of the family can reply / use this meta for their characters. Most outsiders [non-family] are not aware unless it is otherwise stated. Anything marked with an * was already established in Shaun's History, and there are things that were not written down at the time of making Shaun's app that felt irrelevant.
Please, for any further family-relavent aspects that need to be added, please @/ForeignBlackJack on Discord, or add to this thread board.
The Unknown Sibling: * Keith had a Twin Sister- Elise -who died shortly after she was born. It is not known why this happened. Shaun and Tracey made the unified decision not to tell Keith [nor any other children] about their deceased sibling. There was only three photos of Elise - one in the back of an old family album, and one in each parent's wallet tucked behind the family photo [Shaun made sure to bury Tracey with that photo of their daughter]. Elise was buried in Ireland.
Shaun's Family: * Shaun was not always close with his brothers, but he was protective of his own sister Elaene. Shaun fell out of touch with most of siblings after comments were made by his brothers that their second child [Derek] would be the ruin of Shaun's marriage. He also lost contact with Elaene and the two have not spoken since he left her for England. [Shaun does not talk much of his family].
Shaun's First Love/Despair: It was always canon that before Tracey he was dating a boy named Benji McFarrow. Shaun's father, Macgregor, found the pair and in a fit of rage at the sight, nearly killed Benji and Shaun did not intervene. Shaun soon after considered ending everything, but for forgotten reasons, he didn't go through with it. [Shaun told Tracey about this, but has never said about it front of the boys.]
Grandparents: Back when living in Ireland, it has always been canon that Shaun's parents were constantly barging in / involved in the beginning. They often looked after the boys that were alive when they were living in Ireland [Keith, Derek]. It has always been canon that the family would at times go back and visit both sides of the family when they could.
Language: The use of Irish in the house was very sprinkled and not enforced. Older children [Keith, Derek, Stephen and Maverick] would likely have some ability/understanding of the language [at the individuals discretion] but again, could've also forgotten it with time. English was the main household language. Irish was only ever spoken in moments of high emotion.
The Mishap of Children: * Despite that Shaun continues to say all where planned children - there were some children that were unplanned. Derek would technically be accident one, though both parents agreed to keep him [thankfully Tracey had not been drinking during that time]. Stephen and Maverick were planned for. Jace was not planned - he was a total accident even though both parties took all measures to prevent him [Tracey had been drinking on and off most of the pregnancy until she was confirmed]. Lincoln, Nash and Creven were planned. Shaun has proclaimed Jace to be a 'Mongrel' and a 'Bastard' child he should've left on a church doorstep on random occasion when Jace kicks off.
Jace and his Issues: * Jace had an undiagnosed mental condition [Schizophrenia] that his parents have struggled to deal with. Attempts were made to get Jace medical help, however whenever they attempted to get him to go anywhere, he would turn on them and fight. On several occassions, Tracey ended up hurt though she kept that from the kids. His attacks were not as bad as they were following Tracey's death - for unknown reasons, he grew more violent and even began to attack Shaun - throwing anything he could at the man. He has knocked Shaun out a grand total of 3 times, one of those times Stephen found him. The other two times, Shaun was home alone.
Shaun's Frozen Shoulder: * Following the career ending tearing in his shoulder and the surgery required to mend it, Shaun's shoulder has slowly been 'freezing' reducing his range of motion in the joint/limb. Shaun has been seen rubbing at it, but has not formally said anything to his sons about it - especially following his drinking bender.
Sobriety, Mental Health & the Gym: Following several rants from other children, Shaun went sober and managed 4 months without drinking! He constantly has the angry words from his sons whirling about his head, and has since tried to be more open with them though this has been recieved differently by everyone. Shaun is on a slow decline mentally, not that he says anything to his sons about this. The Gym Shaun owns is open and running, and he is working late nights where he can.
Keith's Anvil: Keith and Shaun met, and ultimately, Keith put a deadline over Shaun's head that if he did not take Jace to appointments his oldest son made, then he would be forced to take action to have Jace taken away for proper care . Shaun never told his sons what was going on, and asked for some degree of help from the older Boys where/if they could [this is up to the player if they were able to or not]. Either way, it resulted in Shaun failing and thus the [The Devil Has Arrived]. Not all of the family were involved because realistically not everyone would've been home, as home life has been tense as all hell and as well as having jobs / living out of the house.
Other Notes: - Family Friends: ELIJAH EVAN ACRES [who has been around a lot, and called in whenever Shaun was too drunk or sad to deal with]. Kyle [owned by Shadz - I don't know his @ ] is another family friend.
- Shaun likely knows the local police well [let me know if anyone wants direct contact / involvement for the aftermath the Devil thread].
- Currently there is a unified Family Thread that brings up everything with all sons.
Shaun was numb and it was not as comforting as he remembered it. It had been something worth wrapping himself up in, it had helped to some degree when he'd buried Tracey. It had helped when he had to call her parents, inform them. Helped him so much and now it was a crushing weight that threatened to silently drown him. It was only by some good grace that with Stephen's prompting that he actually got up and started functioning. It was almost robotic as he cleaned up the mess that had been brought on by the sheer amount of people dragging Jace out of the house.
He blinked, finding himself staring at the kitchen sink. He'd done that a few times now, just randomly found himself stopped and staring but he simply shook his head and continued what he was doing. The washing, ironing, folding completed, the dishes washed, the bathrooms scrubbed, beds stripped and remade. All those monotonous things that served no other purpose than to fill in the silence. He hadn't even thought to really clean himself up until he caught his reflection in a mirror.
And as the day wore on, the more and more his stomach began to feel like lead had settled in for the long haul. He hadn't had to call a family meeting in a while, and the few in the past he'd drummed up, only half the clan had been able to turn up. But this - this could not be avoided. The last thing he needed was someone to get some kind of wires crossed. He didn't need or want to be ambushed by the boys because he failed to bring it to their attention immediately. Dinner itself was nothing too crazy, nothing like his wife made, but still more than enough for the clan but even so it worried him that he was providing them with knives, pitchforks and piping hot gravy boats to throw at him. He wouldn't blame them anyway. Couldn't. He was the bad guy after all.
Shaun didn’t flinch, there was just some kind of fucked up wiring in his brain that kept him from reacting as Ketih spat back at him. He never once physically hurt his kids, he’d never needed to raise a hand, but even now as his oldest loomed, the thought of grabbing him by the neck and pushing him against the nearest wall was overwhelming. The way Keith snarled at him, matched his anger, he thought about his father. How violent he’d been - how often he’d been beaten senseless and still forced to practise in the boxing ring. All he’d ever wanted for his boys was for them to be better than him, better than all of them. And somehow all he’d done was make some kind of carbon copy.
“I don’t wish a single moment for him to take his own life Keith,” he growled back, his voice trembling, “Never. And I would’ve let him stab me a thousand times over.”
His expression didn’t change despite the tear that escaped to run down his cheek, even as Keith moved to sit down in front of him.
“I regret love, you blind fool,” he barked, “I have emotions and feelings but I’ve been told time and time again to stow it because how I feel about anything is invalid. I’ve always had to stow things. So why should I show it? Why should I show how I feel when doing that is so wrong by everyone’s standards, huh? I try, that ain’t good enough. I try harder, I still get told off. So I stay away, and I’m not human enough.”
He could feel his lip trembling as Keith let out everything, aired out moments he’d kept stashed away. And something broke, he felt it, as Keith told him what had happened. The colour washed out of his face as the implications hit him. He looked at Keith’s face, imprinting that look of hurt on his brain, sinking it into his memory. He’d failed. He’d failed so badly.
“Ní raibh a fhios agam. Ní dúirt tú riamh,” Shaun whispered, “You never said a single thing to either of us. I might’ve said never cry, but I never said that hiding something was a good thing. If you’d have said something I would’ve acted. I never wanted you boys near him, never, but he kept interjecting into our lives… Tá brón orm. I didn’t know he’d go that far.”
Shaun nodded, listening. It was like a knife was being twisted in some dark space. Somehow, he knew he was responsible for hurting Keith. He felt wrong, sick, like he’d been compliant in a crime he never committed. The rest of Keith’s words registered, but he didn’t react. Frozen in place as he held his hand over his mouth and made no motion to stop the steady trickle of tears, torn between actions. He gave one brief nod at the end of Keith’s explanations and forced his voice to work again.
“Understood,” he replied, defeated, “Family meeting is at six tonight, dinner will be provided and the door will be open if you change your mind.”
He made no move to stand, he wasn’t even sure if he could. Wasn’t even sure he’d be allowed to walk Keith out that door. So he just sat there, staring directly at the wall across from him. He didn’t know what to do anymore. Was there anything he could do? He sincerely doubted it. There was no fixing that. There was changing the past and if he interfered, how much more could Keith hate him?
Translation / Notes:
- "Ní raibh a fhios agam. Ní dúirt tú riamh" - "I didn't know. You never said."
Shaun let him go, let him rant and rave because he'd gotten better about it. He was not going to stop Keith nor deny him a chance to let it out.
"I think you did want this Keith, to get some sort of revenge or validation for the fact I didn't hug you enough. Your mother and I did try Keith, you just never saw it. You were never here. So I don’t know what you think was going on, but your mother and I tried a lot. Talking to Jace, trying to get him to therapy, something - it was not something that we were able to achieve because every time we tried, Jace flipped out on us. He would rampage against the other boys, but we never stopped. There were good days, where Jace could reason with us and we’d listen, but they were few.”
"Hell you weren't here last night when Jace and I were sat on the landing floor after he'd been swinging at me. Jace and I sat on the landing whilst he balled his eyes out and told me he was sorry. I told him it was alright, he was going to get help, he just had to trust me. We sat like that for three hours Keith, before he passed out and I put him into his bed. I sat beside him a little longer before I went to make sure the rest of the boys were fine."
His face remained angry, but his voice was oddly calm, “Neglectful. Right. Because you were never fed, never bathed, never had a roof over your head or an education. Life is never perfect and no one ever gets what they want, you should know that.”
“Yes Keith, you were wanted - you and your twin sister. Yes, you were a twin. The only twins we ever had, but in some cruel twist Elise was only alive a few hours before she died. Perhaps you would’ve resented her too. Your mother and I never told you about Elise because we didn’t want you to feel poorly about future siblings, but you felt it anyway. Everyone but Jace was planned. We wanted all of you, and when Jace came into the balance, it was too late for us to stop anything. We accepted that by forgoing any sort of precaution could lead us to another child, but we didn’t care at that particular time. Your mother and I discussed the options before we decided that we would accept our responsibility as parents. We could’ve put him up for adoption, left him on some church door step but we didn’t. No Breckah left behind.”
Shaun nodded, “Yes, your mother did say that. I remember that. Did you ever wonder why we never bailed you out of jail? Hmm? Because no matter what your mother said, tried to teach you about respect, you boiled over because you were rejected by a girl. Nothing she’d ever said to you seemed to matter, so we agreed to let you stew in jail, figured you might actually come out with a new view on life. The only view you got however was that we didn’t care, and that the prison warden was a better family for you. And we let you go because that was what you wanted and you’d well made up your mind. You left, you weren’t kicked out.”
"You want truth Keith, I'll give you truth as much as it will be a large and harsh pill to swallow," he retorted, his tone far too calm, "And I doubt you will ever believe me, your mother and I are the villians and perhaps we were. We fucked up. And I won't go with the all too common 'every parent fucks up' line either. And hell, you'll cut down the environment we were raised in too. So let's get to the crux of it, as parents we weren't the greastest. Never rich, never good enough but by Christ we tried to do right by you boys."
Shaun shook his head, "I regret many things Keith, more than you'll ever understand. Some nights I sit here and wonder why I didn't just stop it all on my sixteenth birthday, I had everything I needed to just put a stopper in everything but I didn't and I know even know why I stopped. Was it that I was caught? Or was it because I wanted to prove everyone wrong? I regret not moving away from Ireland sooner. I regret standing by and watching my father belt another boy half to death, not acting and stopping him. I regret not being home more. I regret how I raised you all. I regret having emotions and feelings, and fucking you all up. I regret everyone having to step in when I broke down. I regret so much, but you don't here me whimpering over it every damned day. I know I fucked up. I’ve fucked up by trying, by not trying, by working - everything I do is doomed and I get it. I’m a bad parent but I’ve tried.”
“How much I know depends on what you boys elect to tell me. I know Mav works out at the stables and does a good job. I know Creven likes to play soccer and that Nash acts - again, you haven’t been here, but I’ve been going to watch where I can between house work and running the business. I trust in my sons to talk to me, to tell me when things aren’t right - I was not aware of anyone dropping classes, no letters or calls have reached me. I wasn’t aware that Stephen was doing something so stupid, but that ends now. Everyone has secrets Keith, you included. So shit is getting fixed right now.” Shaun shook his head, “We tried to love you Keith, but were always so damned prickly and hard to understand. Perhaps you only care to remember stuff that hurt you personally, I just don’t know you.” “I didn’t want this Keith, you did. You put your nose back where you have claimed yourself, didn’t feel wanted or belonged, but you did it anyway. Perhaps for the betterment of Jace, but like I said, you haven’t been here, and you said you never wanted to step foot into the house. You weren’t my biggest fucking mistake Keith, none of you ever were. My biggest fucking mistake was falling in love.”
Carefully he reclined back, “Stephen, could you grab my phone for me please. There is a family meeting, effective immediately. We might as well clear the air with everyone. I don’t like having to repeat myself.”
Shaun Breckah had seen red before. Seen red when trouble came knocking, when fighters got personal in the ring - seen it and been able to recognise and control himself. To stop himself. But it wasn’t red anymore, it was pitch black and unfathomable. He didn’t care that he lashed out at the cops trying to hold him aside, didn’t even give it a second thought - faces he’d grown to know from all the times Jace had been brought home in the back seat of a cruiser. Between Jace’s screaming and the voices of two other boys he couldn’t fully identify, the yelling of cops and other people he could not identify - so much going on, so many bodies in the hallway but still he heard the shattering of glass, such a loud noise in the chaos.
Pushed aside, yelled at, roaring back Shaun couldn’t stop Jace being pulled from the house, watching almost entirely defenceless as his son was taken out the front door.
“Stay out of the way!” Shaun bellowed, rounding on the nearest cop, tears streaming down his face.
A wiser, more rational man would’ve stopped, but Shaun Breckah didn’t know the meaning of defeat. He should’ve stopped, stopped making everything so much worse but he couldn’t stop fighting. Finally he was forced to stop, one of the cops pulling his bad arm behind his back and applied pressure to the semi-frozen joint earning a cry of pain. There were words being spoken on deaf ears and suddenly he was let go, staggering and clutching at his shoulder. There was someone trying to see if he was visibly wounded but he immediately snarled at them to get away.
Shaking with anger, Shaun looked at the glass on the floor - noticed the family photo on the ground now trampled and torn - torn straight through his wife’s glowing smile. He stared at it. The only picture they all had with all the children present. A simpler time, now a shattered memory. He stood there seething but he didn’t look at the boys, couldn’t.
“They’re taking Jace away,” he growled, “Because I failed him.”
It was a bitter pill to swallow. “Now where the fuck is that ingrate?!” he barked, looking at the straggling officers, “Where the fuck is he?! Where is that bastard so I can gut him like a fish!”
