Welcome to Hickstead, home to both Seven Oak Stables, and Blue Acre - two rival stables. Both offer opportunities for their clients to reach the highest level of excellence. Each stable differs from the other, so choose wisely and never forget, loyalty is everything... Meanwhile as the stables battle it out, there's trouble brewing at the university. Be careful, if you don't pick a side you may get caught in the cross-fire...
This is an chilled out rpg with a super friendly and relaxed atmosphere! Remember to sign up with your characters full name in all caps and don't forget to do your claims! Thank you and Welcome, we've been established since 10th March 2009 but unfortunately have had to close guest view of our boards due to multiple sites ripping off our hard work, such a shame! Come chat to us in Discord before joining if you like!.
The cough turned into a harsh barking that swiftly drove whatever air he had out and kept little to nothing from returning. He could feel the warmth rushing his face, hear how awful it sounded. He reached into his pocket and covered his mouth completely, and only after several long minutes could he draw in fresh air with a faint whimper of pain. Carefully he wiped his mouth and deftly moved the cloth to his pocket.
"I'm fine," he said breathlessly, "Just a cough."
He took another moment to recover before answering Andrew's question, "I'm sorry, for everything. For all I did, said, acted. For not trying harder, for being a fool. I'm sorry I hurt you at all. I didn't want to."
"I know the feeling. But I promise, wild animals couldn't rip me away."
Caleb's smile was soft and tired, "I'll make sure that never happens."
Drew gave a weary chuckle. "Fly a kite, hmm?" he repeated, amused by the turn of phrase. "I'm fine, don't worry about me."
"I'll never stop worrying," Caleb murmured, "Never..."
He shifted slightly in the bed, wincing at a twinge, "Promise me Andrew, you'll take care of yourself - please, promise. I don't want to wake up again to find that you haven't."
He could feel the strain on his eyelids, how much he had to fight them to stay awake. He didn't want to sleep, but his body was demanding otherwise.
"Oh absolutely, I didn't even realise that was an option."
"Hey, what happened there, where did you go?"
Caleb locked onto him, kept him in his sights despite wanting to sleep, "I panicked. Just the thought of shutting my eyes, not seeing you... It hit me strange."
"You need to rest, I'll be right here the whole time. I promise. Nothing bad will happen, I'll make sure of it."
"The only thing I need is you, the rest of it can all go fly a kite in the park," he murmured softly, "You need to take care of yourself too. It's not like I can run out of here and join a marathon."
"Right..." He said, shaking his head slightly, "Of course."
Caleb felt like he'd just smothered everything with his admission. Of course he had - like everything else, he somehow drove the best bits away. He dipped his head, trying to find something else to fill the void that perhaps remove the awkwardness that lingered, but there was really nothing that he could say or do to try and amend that gap. He'd caused it, he'd been the fool and right now the love of his life - the only one he ever needed - was in front of him and he was lost all over again.
I'm sorry... Two words that had probably lost their meaning, as much he was he somehow doubted Andrew would just accept those words. And trying to plead his case or admit he had missed him so much, that he he still loved him... well, that would just about blow everything up and out of the water and make things worse. That was his logic on the situation, but the silence was heavy. He had to say something, and of course it was that moment that the cough came back and hit him like a freight train. He turned slightly, covering the cough over.
"You'd better not. I'm not letting you get away from me again."
He felt tired and not completely there, but even so he watched every little move that Andrew made.
"I have a feeling that you'd sooner handcuff me to a radiator than let me leave," he smiled gently.
"Just never do this to me again, and that's all I ask. Never leave my side, Cal, and we can do this together."
He reached up, gently cupping Andrew's cheek, "I promise you, with everything I have, I will not ever - never ever - leave your side again. I'm tired of being alone in the world. There has only ever been you and I was a fucking idiot. I see it. I know it. I want to be wherever you go. From now until always."
He let his eyes shut, they were so heavy, but even so there was a panic in his heart-rate that the monitors picked up on. He forced his eyes open, searching for Andrew, making sure he was still there.
"I don't want to sleep anymore.. but I am so tired."
Caleb wasn't sure what was going to give out first - his heart, his lungs, hell even his legs at this point were feeling a little more sturdy than jelly. Never had he thought he'd have to face the one person whom he'd hurt so much.
"It is."
That was such a fucking stupid thing to say, but what else was there?
"So far it's been pleasant. How long have you been here?"
Was passing out right now a viable option to avoid this question? He felt like admitting to living here was a death sentence. He lowered his head and quickly cleared his throat, trying to avoid a coughing fit as much as it would've been of benefit to avoid answering.
"Ever since I broke us up," he said, trying his best to remain neutral in his tone and knew he'd failed all at once.
He could hear the sadness in his own tone creeping in and he knew better than to let it seep in. He did not deserve Andrew's pity or care - he didn't deserve anything really. He'd been a fool, stupidly going through his fears and unable to let his own partner of the time do what they desired.
"The only thing I care about seeing, is you alive and well. Stubble, no stubble, I don't care...as long as you are here, with me. That's all I need."
Caleb's expression softened at the gesture, gently holding his hand in return, "I have no plans on going anywhere, not ever."
Drew relaxed a little at that. "I'm glad, it was...."
Caleb let out a soft sigh, there was no doubt he was going to eventually hear the details from someone at some point and briefly he wonder how his friends were dealing with it - did they know?
He squeezed his hand again gently. "Because it was a serious trauma, Cal. It wasn't good. I thought you were dead. Everyone did."
Caleb looked at Andrew, his expression slightly pained, "I'm sorry I caused everyone so much distress, I just... acted again without thinking."
Drew shook his head but managed another small laugh. "You nearly died but you're concerned for me? I'm okay, Cal, I just needed to know you were okay."
He turned toward him and wrapped his arms around him, kissing him gently as he rested his forehead against Andrew's - "Yes, I will always be concerned for you. For everyone. I am going to be fine, even through the battles to come. I am going to keep fighting to be by your side Andrew, ok? Always. I fucked up once, I'm not letting it happen again."
"Oh I'm fine thank you." He hesitated, "I have just moved here..."
Caleb wasn't sure what he was expecting, he really didn't, but it certainly didn't feel like the response he was expecting. Maybe if Andrew had of said he was just dropping by because of work or on a brief holiday he might've understood it more. But his heart was doing its ridiculously hopeful dance and it was a struggle not to look giddy and guilty for being in the area at the same time. "That's good," he nodded, smiling gently, "I see. It's a nice area to live, peaceful."
He felt out of place, like he was the one who was encroaching on the lion's den. He couldn't explain it, wasn't sure he wanted to fully understand anything past one thought - Andrew lived here now. He was going to see him around, and if not see him, know that he was always going to be within a hands-reach in terms of distance. He looked at him, studying him, drinking in for a moment the face of the man his heart ached for. He was the same and different, beautiful even with the scar he noticed on his face. He wanted to reach out, but he stayed his hand and gently shook his head, breaking off the trance that held him for a moment.
"Hopefully you'll enjoy living here, it really is a nice place. The people are nice."
It was in the city, a little place called Jimmy's Kitchen. My error. I don't have any I need to avoid, just be cautious on - Beer and I no longer agree like we used to. One chicken chow mein coming up!
"Might keep it then," he chuckled softly, wincing slightly.
"We're in the hospital, you've been out for quite a few days....You... pushed me out the way of a car, and it hit you instead of me." He shuddered as the images rushed forward once again. "Why did you do that, Cal... don't ever do that again."
He listened to Andrew talk, half getting swept up in the sound of his voice while the other part slowly turned words into thought and processing their meaning. His face contorted slightly as he started trying to put things together. He remembered little bits and pieces.
"I don't remember that," he said softly, confusion clear in his voice. "I remember telling you that I love you... we were walking the dogs... I don't remember much else..."
He frowned, his head pounding, "I remember thinking I saved you.. then nothing after that." He put his free hand to his head, starting to feel the pain. "I did it because I ... I-I... Why don't I remember anything?"
He had never really forgotten anything, but this gap was a little too much of a gap for him to deal with all at once. He carefully tried to squeeze Andrew's hand a little tighter, looking over at him after a moment, "You weren't hurt, were you?"
"Oh Caleb... Caleb you're awake? I'm really not dreaming??"
His smile was soft as he listened to Andrew, "No, this isn't a dream. I hope not. I don't want it to be."
He reached out for him, little strength to the action, but he knew he needed something physical to reassure himself that this was not a dream, and something told him that Andrew needed the same. He shut his eyes for a moment before opening them again, his free hand carefully rubbing his jaw.
"I need a shave," he mumbled, "A bit too much stubble."
He huffed and smiled all the same, "Maybe you can explain the dull pain in my head right now... or where we are as such..."
He wasn't even sure he wanted the answer Andrew might provide, but it was a filler question. Something to bridge the quietness.
"Cal? Come back to me, Caleb. I need you. You need to fight this - be strong and fight this, and come home to me."
Andy? Is that you? I want to wake up, but I can't. I'm fighting now, but I can't find the wall. I hear you, but you can't hear me and I don't know how to change that. You know, all I fancy right now is a hug. I'd love one, truly I would. I miss that. I miss a lot of things.
Three Days Later...
Andy are you there? Why am I asking, of course you are. Are you sleeping enough? I hope you are. I still haven't found that wall yet, I don't know how to talk to you. You know, it's awful not being able to talk to you. I love you, you know that right? I want to say that again and again. Why am I not able to function Andy? I don't like not being able to see your face.
Two Days Later...
Andy? Andy, my chest feels a little bit lighter now. Is this the wall? Have I found it? I think it could be, I feel an itch on my nose and I need to scratch it. It would be nice if you could scratch it for me, it would. I'm trying to push on this wall, it's stubborn but maybe? I hope there is tea waiting for me, it's been a while I think.
Caleb took a deep breath and let it out with a sigh. He still felt heavy and not like himself, but he felt a lot more aware as the end of his nose itched. It took him a moment to move and scratch it, but the reward was worth it. Carefully he rubbed his eyes, removing the slight crust before wincing at the bright light. He blinked and looked around, the room unfamiliar to him but he wasn't too alarmed once he saw Andrew. His smile was soft and tired, but it was there as he turned his head, wincing at a dull pain.
He was floating in an unsettling way, with no sense of direction. Just echoing vague voices, mostly unfamiliar ones. He wasn't sure if it was real, or if this was all some dream. He couldn't fight it, being dragged down and around, never able to hold onto anything concrete.
"It should have been me. It should have been me lying here, you stupid fool. Why did you have to go and do it. It doesn't make things right, it makes things worse."
Andrew?
What was wrong? He tried to reach out, trying to find a slice of reality against the darkness. What was wrong out there? Why could he not reach out to him? He had things to say, things he needed to do. He had to find a way out of this abyss. He wondered what the voice meant, who was laying where? It was all confusing.
His eyes flickered behind their closed lids and his hand twitched slightly against the bed, a faint movement. The nurses had said he might react to voices, and that at times he might move without it, but it was not harmful and it wouldn't do to get hopes up that Caleb was coming around. Nurses came and went, some of them suggesting Andrew simply talk to the unconscious man, how sometimes that was all it took to help them pull through. They cleaned and dressed smaller wounds dotted around his body from the tumble he'd taken, reassessed his vitals to make sure that it was holding steady.
Nothing made sense as little unfiltered snippets of unseen voices echoed off the walls of oblivion. There was nothing he could do but wonder and think of things he wanted as quickly as it faded.
His body was broken and a machine helped him breathe amidst the tubes and wires that crossed over him. The doctors weren't even sure if he would make it, given the advanced cancer in his lung. He was pale, skin marked with cuts and bruises and scrapes from getting hit by a car. The monitors were slow, yet steady and consistent, and all was still around his unconscious form.
The nurse sat with Andrew, discussing what was wrong, what they were doing for him and how it could easily be days before they allowed Caleb to resurface from the coma they put him in, for fears that the bleed on his brain was worse than the scans showed. It was safest if Caleb wasn't present, kept free of stresses until they knew how he was recovering. It was a guessing game now.
A coffee was carefully pressed into Andrew's hand by a nurse seeking to comfort him in some small way.