Welcome to Hickstead, home to both Seven Oak Stables, and Blue Acre - two rival stables. Both offer opportunities for their clients to reach the highest level of excellence. Each stable differs from the other, so choose wisely and never forget, loyalty is everything... Meanwhile as the stables battle it out, there's trouble brewing at the university. Be careful, if you don't pick a side you may get caught in the cross-fire...
This is an chilled out rpg with a super friendly and relaxed atmosphere! Remember to sign up with your characters full name in all caps and don't forget to do your claims! Thank you and Welcome, we've been established since 10th March 2009 but unfortunately have had to close guest view of our boards due to multiple sites ripping off our hard work, such a shame! Come chat to us in Discord before joining if you like!.
Drew smiled to himself as he made his way through the park on his daily walk. It had become a part of his routine, and if he was honest, it was the best part. It was his favourite time of day - early morning, when the sun was just beginning to rise, touching the landscape with a hint of gold, and sometimes red. There streets were quiet, people still tucked up in bed or only just beginning to head out with their dogs or off to the gym or Starbucks for breakfast. He liked to drop in on the coffee shop for a drink - so much so that now the young lad he often saw behind the counter, Sam, remembered is order and would get it ready before he was even at the cashier to pay. A piping hot latte with one sugar and oat milk. He smiled his thanks, leaving a tip for the lad as he headed on his way.
It was peaceful at this time, and he found it the best time to kickstart his foggy brain for the day. He found it tough to sleep at night, often finding it easier to nap during the day - but his work didn't really accommodate that very well. He could get a couple of hours sleep, usually during the early evening, leaving him awake through the early hours, meaning that he spent the time planning his work for the day, sketching to keep his mind busy, and as the dawn approached, he'd leave his new flat to take his walk and sip his coffee and try to beat off the tired fog that would try to descend. He was used to it, and he knew how to manage it now. Yawning, he took a new path through the park, his gait slightly unusual with thanks to his prosthetic foot, but much more adapt at using it than he used to be - he'd ditched the crutch a long time ago, but there were a few things he still struggled to manage; running was one of them. He missed running.
He found himself down by the pond in the end, not somewhere he'd come across yet, and he paused by the water's edge for a moment, watching the little ducks paddling their way across the calm surface. Drew took a swig of his coffee and let out a small sigh, it was a contented one. He liked the town, it was just the right amount of bustle and business, along with the calm and quiet of countryside. He knew the next part of his plan, now that he was settled; a house was on the cards. Right now, he liked his flat but it was a little small, made even tighter by the piles and piles of plants he had plotted in every available space - he just loved the green and the colour, but really he needed a garden.
The dogs were the only reason he was seeing the early morning and breathing in the fresh air. If it weren't for them, he'd still be in bed avoiding the world for as long as he possibly could. He had no work booked in today thankfully, so he was able to just mosey about as he needed to. But even with that thought in mind, he still wasn't exactly thrilled to be out as his mind lingered on the issues laid out before him.
His friends were all finding interest in others, and whilst he was incredibly happy for them to be finding their feet in the world of love, they'd asked and reminded him of his bachelor status and he ruminated on the fact that he was without love in his life. But he knew why; he'd been the one to stomp on the love he'd had with Andrew all those years ago. He had been cruel and selfish, no less unfair in the whole matter, unwilling to budge. He had loved Andrew deeply, so much that even after all this time, he had not even looked at another person or felt that same level of deep unfiltered affection. He knew that, without hesitation, he did not deserve to have love in his life - he could not and did not want to cause that same feeling in someone else because he had faltered.
He trailed after the dogs, their leashes slack as they walked just ahead of him, enjoying the smells and sights the world had to offer them. If there was to be a light in the world, it was that his dogs kept him from going to the rat house, though even now things were starting to get difficult. His cough was progressively getting worse and his doctor had ordered scans of his upper body to see if it was just some infection in his lungs, but Caleb had a sense that it was more than that. He had seen the doubt in his doctor's eyes too, but neither acknowledged it in the hopes that it was just something small. Even as he was thinking, the cough snuck up on him, forcing him to take a seat on a bench to recover.
Andrew let out a long breath as he wandered the edge of the pond, careful not to get too close but following the path around the curve of it's side. He didn't want to think about what would happen if he fell in. He had loved water sports all his life, but since the loss of his foot he'd been too chicken to try any of them again. He missed the rush, the feel of the water, the power in wind surface across the ocean, but he was worried about the balance of his foot, the strength needed to swim if he fell. He didn't know if he could handle trying and failing, and so he hadn't - yet. One day, he knew he would have to. For now, he didn't fancy the idea of getting soaked, or of the humiliation of struggling back out of the pond with one and a half legs.
His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of coughing. It was almost piercing in the quiet and he gave a slight frown - not for the interruption but the fact that it didn't sound very healthy. He was almost at the bench anyway, and it felt only natural for him to close the distance and approach them. He realised that he didn't actually have anything that could help, only the hot coffee in his hand - but any liquid might be better than nothing if the person was choking. "Excuse me," He called out as he came within ear-shot, not wanting to startle them. "Are you okay? Can I offer you any help?" He asked, catching sight of the man's accompanying dogs with a slight smile, though concern shone through predominantly on his face.
Normally, as far as normal was getting to be, he would've just sat through the coughing fit and then waited before heading home. But today just wasn't meant to be his day. It felt like the cough was harder, it hurt more, and while that was worrying in itself, he tried not to dwell on it. Hopefully the remedy to that was simple and effective.
"Excuse me," He called out as he came within ear-shot, not wanting to startle them. "Are you okay? Can I offer you any help?"
Looking up, it took him a moment to register the face and his coughing almost seemed to worsen for a moment before he managed to get some semblance of control over himself again. This time he was able to look at the man who had some kind of familiarity about him. Older, but familiar. And then it hit him - Andrew. His heart fluttered in his chest at the same time a stone of cold regret settled into his stomach. The very man he'd ran away from; the very same man he'd loved all those years ago. Was this some kind of divine punishment?
"No I- um. I'm fine, thank you Andrew," he said, his voice quiet and not unkind, just shocked.
He'd never thought in his wildest dreams that Andrew would turn up in his life again. It was equal parts wonderful and terrifying. And he couldn't help wondering if Andrew remembered him? Or if this was some kind of misplaced facial recognition on his part.
It did not sound like the kind of cough one could just play off as a cold, or a bit of a tickly throat. It was the kind that made people worry. Then again, Drew wasn’t a doctor – or even close – so perhaps it sounded worse than it was. He still couldn’t help but check on the person though, he wasn’t the kind of guy to just walk away and think it wasn’t anything to do with him. There wasn’t much he’d be able to offer to do, but a swift pat on the back perhaps and the offer of a quick water; he could walk over to get them some. Sadly, there’d be no running to retrieve it.
"No I- um. I'm fine, thank you Andrew," The sound of his name pulled him out of his thoughts and he looked at the face staring back at him. It took him a moment, but only one, and then he jerked back in shock, stumbling on his dodgy foot and cursing at the uselessness of it in that moment. Somehow he remained upright, his other leg taking the brunt of his weight and steadying him until he could stand solid again. There was no way this could be real – in all the towns, in all the country what was the chance of this? The love of his life, standing there as bold as brass and saying his name. It was that, that hit him where it hurt the most. The surprise of it but also, his name on those lips.
“Caleb?” His voice was rough, and broke slightly at the word. Of course he remembered him, it was impossible to forget him. His face was older, but after all it had been almost ten years now, and they weren’t teenagers anymore. He still looked good though, and the knife twisted in his heart as he tried not to let it show. His expression shifted carefully from shock and hurt to a careful mask to save himself. He cleared his throat, suddenly very conscious of the awful scar cut cleanly down his face, and the fact that he looked more haggard than he used to. “What are you doing here?” Not accusational but just… what were the chances?
His breathing stopped for a moment and he wondered if this was even real. Hearing Andrew say his name again, it was the hug and slap he wanted so very often when he sat alone in the evenings. Then everything came back, the world putting his brain cells back together to try and formulate a reply. How to address this all? Shame on me... Shame on me.
"I live here," he said quietly, "Have done for several years. How are you? You're looking well."
It was a pathetic ice breaker, it truly was, but he couldn't wipe the tiniest flickering piece of hope that showed through in the form of a smile.
There was an awkward moment of quiet, as if the world was holding it's breath too as Drew's returning words were put out there. He wondered what cruel twist of fate had set this up, to run into the love of his life who had broken his heart so thoroughly. "I live here," Okay so maybe he had asked a stupid question, clearly there was good reason for Cal to be here, it had just caught Andrew so completely by surprise. Of course, he could have gone anywhere when they split. Drew had contemplated looking for him a couple of times, of trying to reach out, but the anger and bitterness hadn't quite let up enough. It was fair that he was here as he may have settled anywhere in the country.
"Have done for several years. How are you? You're looking well." Drew wasn't sure if that was some form of sarcasm at first and he took a minute to decide that it wasn't. He subconsciously touched the scar across his face and then moved to run a hand through his hair instead as it to try and hide the motion. It had been habit for a long time now, touching the scar, but he was getting better at caring less that it was there and how people looked at him for it. Still, seeing Cal made it feel all the more stark. "Oh I'm fine thank you." He hesitated, "I have just moved here..." He admitted, wondering if perhaps he should have picked some place else.
"Oh I'm fine thank you." He hesitated, "I have just moved here..."
Caleb wasn't sure what he was expecting, he really didn't, but it certainly didn't feel like the response he was expecting. Maybe if Andrew had of said he was just dropping by because of work or on a brief holiday he might've understood it more. But his heart was doing its ridiculously hopeful dance and it was a struggle not to look giddy and guilty for being in the area at the same time. "That's good," he nodded, smiling gently, "I see. It's a nice area to live, peaceful."
He felt out of place, like he was the one who was encroaching on the lion's den. He couldn't explain it, wasn't sure he wanted to fully understand anything past one thought - Andrew lived here now. He was going to see him around, and if not see him, know that he was always going to be within a hands-reach in terms of distance. He looked at him, studying him, drinking in for a moment the face of the man his heart ached for. He was the same and different, beautiful even with the scar he noticed on his face. He wanted to reach out, but he stayed his hand and gently shook his head, breaking off the trance that held him for a moment.
"Hopefully you'll enjoy living here, it really is a nice place. The people are nice."
Andrew watched Caleb warily for his response, unsure how he would take it. He didn't know himself how he felt about it right then. Turmoil for sure. He'd had no idea where Cal had ended up and now he was here, irony had a funny way of putting a foot in the door. It was an odd moment of quiet as they looked at each other, and he hated the awkward tension between them. It was Caleb's own fault, if Drew had had his way they'd still have been together. But that hadn't been his choice. "That's good, I see. It's a nice area to live, peaceful." Andrew nodded. Peace sounded good, he needed peace in his life, but he wasn't sure he'd be getting any now he knew Caleb was somewhere in town. He felt like he'd be watching every face for him in the street, every shop window incase he was inside.
He realised he hadn't said anything in response and he cleared his throat then nodded. "Yes, it seems like a nice place." Or it had until he'd found his damn ex was here. He felt Cal studying him, having looked away for a moment, but now he returned to the man who had broken his heart, looking right back. Damn it hurt to see the way Caleb looked at him. He shouldn't be looking at him like that, they hadn't seen each other in years, Cal had made no attempt to contact him or fix what he had broken. "Hopefully you'll enjoy living here, it really is a nice place. The people are nice." Andrew gave another polite nod, feeling stiff and formal and unsure how to act. There were words burning the back of his throat that he couldn't say, it was not the time and place. "So far it's been pleasant. How long have you been here?" he was curious to know if this was a new move or if he had been hiding here all this time, ever since he'd smashed Drew's heart and done a disappearing act.
Caleb wasn't sure what was going to give out first - his heart, his lungs, hell even his legs at this point were feeling a little more sturdy than jelly. Never had he thought he'd have to face the one person whom he'd hurt so much.
"It is."
That was such a fucking stupid thing to say, but what else was there?
"So far it's been pleasant. How long have you been here?"
Was passing out right now a viable option to avoid this question? He felt like admitting to living here was a death sentence. He lowered his head and quickly cleared his throat, trying to avoid a coughing fit as much as it would've been of benefit to avoid answering.
"Ever since I broke us up," he said, trying his best to remain neutral in his tone and knew he'd failed all at once.
He could hear the sadness in his own tone creeping in and he knew better than to let it seep in. He did not deserve Andrew's pity or care - he didn't deserve anything really. He'd been a fool, stupidly going through his fears and unable to let his own partner of the time do what they desired.
The conversation felt stilted and awkward, so much unspoken between them, so much hanging in the air. This felt somewhat ridiculous - the idea of the two of them just exchanging pleasantries like the last time they saw each other wasn't when they'd been ripping each other's hearts out. As if they hadn't spent years together, hadn't learned every line and freckle on each others bodies. As if they hadn't known each other inside and out - or at least, so Drew had thought, until Caleb had told him they were done. "It is." Well, that was the end of that. Perhaps he should leave, this felt like it was just going to get worse the longer they sat there.
He didn't know what he'd been expecting to be honest, and perhaps he should have thought about it before he asked. Maybe he'd thought Cal would say a couple of years or something, that he'd fell into this place with a recent job or following a friend - and yet then the ball dropped. "Ever since I broke us up," A sharp stab to the heart, of course it had to be said but something about it hit home. He shifted slightly, trying to hide the uncomfortable flash of pain from the words. He cleared his throat, trying to get past the lump that had suddenly appeared there. "Right..." He said, shaking his head slightly, "Of course." He didn't know what more to say about it without dredging up the past, the anger and frustration and the hurt. He hesitated, once again considering leaving.
"Right..." He said, shaking his head slightly, "Of course."
Caleb felt like he'd just smothered everything with his admission. Of course he had - like everything else, he somehow drove the best bits away. He dipped his head, trying to find something else to fill the void that perhaps remove the awkwardness that lingered, but there was really nothing that he could say or do to try and amend that gap. He'd caused it, he'd been the fool and right now the love of his life - the only one he ever needed - was in front of him and he was lost all over again.
I'm sorry... Two words that had probably lost their meaning, as much he was he somehow doubted Andrew would just accept those words. And trying to plead his case or admit he had missed him so much, that he he still loved him... well, that would just about blow everything up and out of the water and make things worse. That was his logic on the situation, but the silence was heavy. He had to say something, and of course it was that moment that the cough came back and hit him like a freight train. He turned slightly, covering the cough over.
The quiet between them lingered, felt awkward. Emotions kept shoving back and forth in Caleb, vying for attention and he didn't know which one to focus on. Such was his turmoil, he could bearly think in that moment. Even the passing of all this time hadn't really changed how he felt about things. It was too difficult when you met the love of your life, and then they walked away from you with such hurtful words. You didn't come back from that, not easily. He'd had to work hard to get some balance back in his life, to feel safe again. It sounded ridiculous but when your entire life collapsed in on itself the way it didn't when him and Caleb were over, the world felt very unfriendly all of a sudden. Like it was out to get you, to destroy you.
"I'm sorry..." the words caught him a little off guard, hanging just as awkwardly in the air between them as the silence had been. They interrupted his internal devastation and be blinked. "About time.... But for what?" the words were out before he could stop them, before he'd even realised he'd formed them. It was true though, they should have been said a long time ago, it was far too late now. And what part was he sorry for? Being here? Running into him? Or for what he had did or what he had said? Did it change anything? Probably not. The cough made him frown though and even after everything he felt a touch of concern, almost reaching out to him. "Are you unwell?"
The cough turned into a harsh barking that swiftly drove whatever air he had out and kept little to nothing from returning. He could feel the warmth rushing his face, hear how awful it sounded. He reached into his pocket and covered his mouth completely, and only after several long minutes could he draw in fresh air with a faint whimper of pain. Carefully he wiped his mouth and deftly moved the cloth to his pocket.
"I'm fine," he said breathlessly, "Just a cough."
He took another moment to recover before answering Andrew's question, "I'm sorry, for everything. For all I did, said, acted. For not trying harder, for being a fool. I'm sorry I hurt you at all. I didn't want to."
His frown deepened as Caleb's cough continued, progressively sounding worse with every drag of air on the intake. He saw the deft and well practiced grab of the cloth, the wipe of his mouth, the attempt to hide what he was clearly used to hiding. Drew noticed it all in a couple of glances, but made no comment. It was hard, old feelings prevailed and all that but they were at war with the conflict of how he felt now, and how things had ended - the hurt and the betrayal and everything that had come with it.
"I'm fine, Just a cough." Drew's mouth twisted slightly, a show of his disbelief. He didn't question it though, whilst concerned, it wasn't his business and he wasn't owed anything - likewise, he didn't owe Caleb anything. He was quiet for a moment, letting Cal get himself settled without feeling rushed. Part of him wanted to be up on his feet and moving, on the go, away from here, but something kept him sat there with Cal. "I'm sorry, for everything. For all I did, said, acted. For not trying harder, for being a fool. I'm sorry I hurt you at all. I didn't want to." Drew opened his mouth to speak then abruptly closed it, the anger about to get the best of him, instead he swallowed the words and forced himself to be rational in his response. "That's a lot to be sorry for, Cal. But it's not as simple as that." He sighed, a heavy noise. "It doesn't change what you did or what happened, it doesn't fix anything. It's just a word."
