Welcome to Hickstead, home to both Seven Oak Stables, and Blue Acre - two rival stables. Both offer opportunities for their clients to reach the highest level of excellence. Each stable differs from the other, so choose wisely and never forget, loyalty is everything... Meanwhile as the stables battle it out, there's trouble brewing at the university. Be careful, if you don't pick a side you may get caught in the cross-fire...
This is an chilled out rpg with a super friendly and relaxed atmosphere! Remember to sign up with your characters full name in all caps and don't forget to do your claims! Thank you and Welcome, we've been established since 10th March 2009 but unfortunately have had to close guest view of our boards due to multiple sites ripping off our hard work, such a shame! Come chat to us in Discord before joining if you like!.
”You’d think you wanted me dead saying things like that Theia.” She tucked a piece of unruly red hair behind her ears and gave a nonchalant shrug, "I don't know what you mean," She lied, when they both knew exactly what she meant. She was well aware he wasn't dumb enough to trying pulling a stunt like that anyway, and if he was then he deserved the trouble it cost him.
She wrinkled her nose, watching the napkin fall short as it un-scrunched itself mid flight and landed several feet away. ”Funny.” She raised a brow at his disappearing back. "Oi, you better pick that up, kid." Though the words were dry she still meant it in humour. She busied herself making sure the bar matts and everything were straight on the counter top, and finding herself a fresh waitressing pad and working pen for the orders until Link returned.
”Theres nothing to do!” Theia pressed her lips together to hide a smile. She enjoyed working with the kid, he made things interesting and she liked to mess with him a little, unable to help herself. It was probably a good thing she'd never had siblings. She looked at the group pointedly, even though she could quite easily have taken it herself. ”Okay now there’s something to do. .” She grinned, letting it come through this time. "Atta boy." She taunted, though there was no edge to her voice.
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[attr="class","theresa-googlepix-text"]Prove it, and then maybe I'll reconsider. I was about to get concerned and threaten to take your temperature. Lion might be a bit tame.
I'm your only fucked up friend? I'm not sure how to take that other than I am a selfish prick so pretty glad I don't need to play nice and share. Nice of you to be tolerant at least.
She caught the raise of his brow but didn't comment, letting him mull it over. She could only push his out of comfort zone so far, she was well aware of that. "Another time." Her turn to raise a brow, not a no then. She nodded. "I'll hold you to that." And she would as well, there'd be no getting away with false promises with her. She glanced at him when she chuckled, noticing his lack of laughter and wondering if he hadn't found it funny. From the look on his face, he had no idea what she was talking about. "I feel like we need to start a list... Of TV and Film you haven't seen but should." Whether he agreed or not, she'd be doing it. Dexter's ending might have been shit but the rest of it was decent enough for an easy watch show.
"There are easier ways to do that. But no - I'm not thinking like that... I'd lose my dragon." She wandered back toward him as he spoke. "You sure? I'd even let you know where the soft spots are." A very little reference to Dragon heart, something she doubted he would have seen either. Without thinking twice she reached out and took his hand, going to place his hand on her throat, that tempting, vulnerable hollow where the pulse beat strong and fragile. A small part of her screamed at it, giving up that weakness, as if he wouldn't already know it. An odd invitation to take advantage, to use it, to hurt her. But she knew he wouldn't. After a moment she took a step back, her attention turning to the reason she'd come to his today. The papers spread out as she found a couple of items to keep them flat and open for them to reference.
"You know what, I like that a lot," She hadn't realised she was nervous about her idea until he approved, and she automatically grinned. "Let's go with that, with one primary star... it sounds stupid but... there was always one star that I could see when I was.. well, when that shit happened to me, and even when I was laying in the infirmary, I could see it and kind of miss it. It was my homing star... if we could put it above the door?" Theia nodded slowly, her eyes on him. "A way to the escape..." She murmured softly, understanding why he would want that. A reminder, a promise, a nudge toward safety. She turned on her bright grin again to help shake off the darkness, as much as she could. "It's your roof, unicorn, we can paint it however you like." She'd do anything for him, whatever he wanted. She put her hands on her hips and let out a breath. "Right, let's get this going. Where's the paint?"
"Who would think it." She raised a brow at his eye roll, wondering if she'd said the wrong thing but shrugging it off. He'd tell her or make it clear enough if she had. She had gotten good at reading his moods and the like, knowing what was likely to press his buttons or push the line, and when to pull back and let things go. "You're safe. Water and I don't get along... I mean, we used to but I gave up being around water bodies." Theia frowned slightly, glancing at him with a wary curiosity. She had a fair idea what might have set that line of thinking off, as with most of his issues, but it didn't stop her from giving him a shove either way. "What did the water do to you?" She half joked, figuring that was a safer avenue to go down.
Theia curled her legs up under her as she got settled, fully expecting him to fulfill her request. "Yeah, I can do that but.. I can do that." She tilted her head at the but, but grinned triumphantly when he agreed. "Excellent, you realised it wasn't a question." She half teased, not one to force him if he really didn't want to. There was a difference between a push and forcing. She was patient, in a way she rarely was with anyone else, just sinking into the chair and listening to himself figure out the chores and get everything together. As soon as he started, she let her head fall back against the rest, closing her eyes so she could let the music wash over her fully, embracing every sound. A faint smile appeared on her lips as the tune continued. She'd never heard anyone play guitar like he did. When he was done, she didn't open her eyes immediately, choosing a moment to stay in that peaceful place the song had put her. "That was really beautiful."
She raised a brow as she watched Link begin to count on his fingers. If he still needed his fingers to count then he hadn't drunk enough. There was no point even trying to count hers, it was way more than 20 let alone 10. And that was on healthy coping mechanisms. ”Well. .i’m almost there with cheap cider. .only about another hundred drinks to try then.” Theia snorted at that. "Make sure to try them all at once." She suggested, because that wasn't liable to kill a grown man, let alone the pint sized punk she was working shift with.
”Aren’t you only like 1 or 2 years older than me?” Theia shrugged, she didn't actually know how old Link was, only that he seemed like a baby compared to her. Perhaps it was just that her life experiences made her feel ancient. "Age doesn't matter, only that you're the baby." She teased, though really it didn't matter. She didn't care how old people were it was whether they fucked her off or not - and at work, it was only whether they did the job or were lazy assholes. Whilst Link sauntered off to the kitchen, Theia surveyed the restaurant again and then pulled out her phone - to once again, a million notifications. She continued to turn the notifications off for her group chats, and Shi continued to go back into her phone and turn them on again. Not giving her the option to ignore them. She briefly scrolled through all the shit but gave up, replying a brief 'lol' and hoping that would suffice. She fired off a reply to Joe's messages and then slipped her phone back into her pocket when Link returned. ”They’re done. . guess we can relax until the customers start piling in?” Theia raised a brow and looked at him, that look that clearly said, what do you think. "Slacking off already? It's only the start of the shift and all." She was joking though, there really wasn't much to do until people started arriving.
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Theia was good at catching reactions, call it years of being insecure, and monitoring people's micro emotions so you could always be one step ahead of the game. Then of course she stopped caring altogether anyway. But the skills remained. She'd gotten under the skin, maybe just a little. But it was a fair point, she wasn't confirmed on the team yet. Being presumptuous pissed her off though, she couldn't help but get that dig in there. "Uh, because we've ridden together for the past two seasons." Theia raised an eyebrow and made a noise like 'hurrumph' but didn't retort. It was clear she didn't believe that kind of response being the right one, whether it was actually what Wynnie had meant. Time to move on from that now though, she wasn't interested in dragging this out any longer than she needed to, she needed to see if Wynnie had what it took to be on the team or not, and if Theia was wasting her time.
She crossed her arms after speaking, her expression hard as she made her point with the fellow teen. It was make or break time, why was she here. To do the job or talk about Theia's friendship group. It was a challenge, a chance to prove herself, for why she was here. What kind of person was Wynnie. Theia expected a blow up, a some whining kind of response about Theia being mean or some shit. "No, I am not. However, if idle gossip and heresay are working against me for this trial, I feel like I should know." Theia gave her a level stare, taking a moment to decide on her answer. There were several ways to play it, but she went with the one that sat quickest on the tip of her tongue. "Are you implying that the trials are rigged?" Her low tone was a warning. She didn't really expect a response to it, but the correct one was a no and to avert her gaze. She could have easily said it was none of Wynnie's business how Theia decided on her hires, but that wasn't the point. It was the thought that Theia was pathetic or low enough to care about someone's background outside their ability in the saddle. "The only thing I give a shit about in this arena, is whether you're the best of the bunch or not. If you can't handle that, then this ain't for you." Hinting at the fact that Wynnie would also need to get over Theia being in charge.
"But I guess it doesn't matter. Because Pip and I are going to knock your socks off so hard that they are going to run away from this arena." Theia gave a slight nod, feeling that her point had been made by now and they could finally get on with it all. She was over this now and had other shit to be doing today. "Impress me then." She taunted, her lips twisting slightly, her expression turning haughty in a way to tempt the other into doing something that would wow her enough to let her join the team.
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She was almost surprised that her bluntness hadn't incited a response yet - she figured the girl must want it badly enough that it was worth biting off her tongue for. Handy to know. Perhaps she'd poke the bear a few more times deliberately to see if she'd take a bite, or suffer in silence. She could feel the tension in the air, that mood emanating from Wynnie, that she was less than impressed, but Theia had to hand it to her that she was holding it at bay well enough - her face didn't quite look like it had bitten a lemon yet, or a slapped ass. Theia glanced to the horse at his snort, catching the girl's "Quite you." and raising a brow very slightly, shooting a look to Wynnie as if to make her question whether that was a good idea. She personally spoke to horses all the time but it never hurt to put some self doubt into a person - women were particularly susceptible.
"Aye Aye, Captain!" Theia raised a brow at that one, her lips pressing into a firm line. She didn't really do jokes about the whole 'Captain' thing, and certainly not from someone like Wynnie. Anyone would think Theia didn't have a sense of humour - she didn't.. or well, not in the traditional sense. Her humour was usually dark and terribly twisted jokes about things you probably shouldn't joke about. If you wanted sweet and light hearted you were better off going to a candy shop. She didn't comment back, tempted to address it but figuring silence was the better response as she waited impatiently for the girl to get after the horse and get moving. With a sigh, she looked away from the horse for a moment, glancing across the arena and, unable to help herself, yawning. She was looking forward to heading back to the dorms for a nap after all this excitement, perhaps see if Joe was around to share in some time of peace and quiet.
She zoned back into the situation in time to see Wynnie finally aim the horse toward the jump - having seen the bay blur shifting laps around the arena and getting bored of it. She stood where she was, arms still folded, looking as bored as anything despite the fact that her eyes honed in on the woman's technique - on her position, her balance, the lightness of her hands, and her ability to see a stride and ride away from it. Many things went into jumping, it was not just point and shoot as people believed. She wasn't bad either, but most people could handle a cross pole. Once the horse had been pulled back to a walk, she didn't make a comment but instead, stepped forward to make her amendments to the jump. She was just placing one pole down and raising a cup when she heard Wynnie speak. "So...speaking teammate to Captain, I have to ask. Did Alisha or Shiloh mention anything to you about me?" Theia didn't pause in her actions but inside, she went still. Interesting. She was fishing. "And who said you were a teammate?" She was careful not to add 'yet' to that either. She finished setting up the poles and straightened up with a no-nonsense look. It was sitting at 85cm, nothing too fancy, but something good enough to warm up over still. "Are you here for idle gossip? For heresay? To take back to your pals so you can bitch about what Theia said that Shiloh said?" She tilted her head. "Because if that's the case, dismount now, the trial's over."
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"Then get up, and get out, The door is right there." Her frown returned, tightening her folded arms at the hot surge of anger with his response. She took a second, composing herself so that she didn't last out too quickly. Her temper was usually cold, a cool and calculated sort of feeling, probably because she was usually such an internal person, such a grump, but when someone really prodded her, really poked her, it was a hot rush, and her tongue was often quicker than her brain, lashing out like a whip before she could stop it. "Do you have shit stuffed in your ears?" She asked, her jaw working as she fought to hold onto herself at least a little. "I've just told you.. we all have... we cannot leave without consequences." Though they were looking God awfully tempting right now. One more thing. One more fucking thing, and she was walking out.
She looked away from Pasha for a moment, Christ was he going to get an earful at their next session - if she even bothered to grace him with her presence. It was one thing to accept this job but forcing students to attend, taking away their choices - she didn't agree with it. It put her in a shit position and she despised feeling trapped, even if it was in this kind of situation. She could hear the others muttering, unsure if they were talking to her anymore or Pasha, she shut herself down. It was the only way to handle this, to get through the session and be done with it so she could escape. She turned her face away from the board, ignoring Pasha's instructions, and did what she did best - switched everything off. She turned off the anger, turned off the emotions, shut it all down like some kind of laptop. Unnatural really, but it was the way she had learned to deal best with things. People thought she was grumpy, moody even, and she was, but mostly because she went around only half feeling, with things dulled. It was a better way to live life.
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She was half expecting some kind of talk back, or another attempt to sweetly win her over. You had better luck winning over a starving Anaconda than Theia on a good day, but she would let the girl work that out for herself - if she was stupid enough to keep trying by using friendly words, she deserved to be bitten. She left the girl to her own devices when the silence between them grew, managing to hold back an amused smile at it. She turned her back on Wynnie and moved over to the chair, conveniently placed in an alcove that the school have, directly opposite the C end. It provided a perfect view of the entire arena, though she'd known the suddenly appearance of a person in the 'wall' to make a horse spook, it was usually used to dressage tests - allowing the judges a full view and a seat. It worked for Theia now, able to see everything Wynnie was up to whilst she warmed up, whilst not in the way.
Theia settled herself in for the show. Some would find it boring, to watch this, but Theia actually took it seriously. She wasn't Captain for nothing, she hadn't gotten this far for no reason. She lounged in the chair, her expression blank to the point of boredom, but she was taking everything in, watching Wynnie's every move as she warmed Pip up. It was not as entertaining as she had had hopes for, for which she had to give the girl props. So she could ride, that was a good start at least. She put her chin in a hand, propped up with the arm of the chair. Her phone buzzed in her pocket, but she ignored it - Shi could wait till later, no doubt it was likely her. Or.. she amended, it could be Joe. She still decided to play nice and not get out her phone. She wasn't a complete asshole, contrary to popular belief. Instead, she kept up her easy pretense that she wasn't interested, whilst keeping her watchful gaze on the pair.
She could have glanced at the clock to make a point, but she didn't. She would allow Wynnie time to get the feel of the horse and get something out of the animal; if she could, and although at the beginning it looked like Pip might get the handle on her, Wynnie seemed to win. Fair play to her. Theia pressed her lips together. Shi would be pissed, but so far, the girl hadn't fucked up enough for her to call the trial off and kick her out the yard. "I think Pip and I are good to go and warmed up if youre in agreement." Theia looked at Wynnie for a moment and then shrugged, taking her time to stand from her chair and stretching slightly. "If you say," She said simply, giving nothing away once again; no praise, no agreement or disagreement. It was up to the rider to decide if the horse felt ready and listening, not Theia's. The riders on her team had to have good judgement and feel for their horses; even if it meant something was wrong and they had to call off a competition for the horses' health. "Time to jump," She announced, heading over to the cross pole to play pole bitch. She pursed her lips and nodded to the jump, stuffing her hands into her pockets. "Let's go." She said, waiting for Wynnie to get the lump of a horse over the jump a few times before she would raise it. They didn't jump anything near the standard of high level riders, but they had to be comfortable up to a metre for the local competitions; if they were good at more than that, then all the better.
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"Of course, we can discuss that at any point." Theia nodded, considering it again for a moment, "Let me figure out my month's schedule with work and then.. I'll come back." Surprising herself by being genuinely interested. Unlike some of her friends, she wasn't one to take things on lightly either - she meant it if she said something. She liked being busy and the skill would be useful, why not learn something new that could help her in the long run. She put the information aside for a moment as she surveyed her options instead, she'd come back round to his offer another time.
She glanced at Enver as she set down her items, watching him look them over and then begin to get them ready to pack. She raised her brows at the conditioner and polishes, surprised that he was putting so much effort in. They were in excellent condition, Theia could tell that the guy cared for his work, and it was nice to see. She'd take as good a care with them as she could herself. "Would you like a box for them, or a bag?" She took a second to think which would be easier, "A bag, please." She tended to throw the boxes or they ended up cluttering up her room.
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She glanced at him as he shrugged, her face a careful mask. This kind of topic was a little too close to home, and whilst she was pretty quick to wave shit off most of the time, she was also generally careful to avoid topics that nudged at the dark parts of her mind. "I know, but you still don't expect it to happen to people you know. Everyone's fighting their own battles behind closed doors." Theia shrugged at that, picking up a glass and a cloth and wiping at an imaginary finger print. "Mmm, well it happens." She opened her mouth to say more then decided that was enough and promptly shut it. It wasn't as if Shi and her merry band were Queen Bee's bitches because they had had good lives. It wasn't the same as the films; Shi might be privileged with money but the rest of them were not, and she didn't know a single one of them that had had an easy life. Perhaps she shouldn't be trying to shit on Link's naive outlook on life. Then again, positivity wasn't her strong point so he just picked the wrong friend.
"Hey it's a right of passage." She rolled her eyes at his smirk but she let out a small laugh at it. "Yeah, drink something to excess until even the smell of it makes you feel sick." She smirked and shook her head, thinking of all the alcohol's now on her 'absolutely no fucking way' list, that still somehow made appearances at every party Shiloh hosted. The cow. She rolled her eyes and deftly caught the napkin before it could add further damage to her face. "Oi," She said, pointing a warning finger at him. "Behave yourself, young one." As if there weren't only a few years between them. "Fine, i'll go and see if the cooks have finished their prep." She shrugged and propped a hip against the bar with a nod. "Well done, excellent idea." She taunted, watching him go, shaking her head slightly. The kid was a handful, for sure.
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She allowed it, the slightest twitch of the left corner of her lip at Wynter's expression. The way her eyes shot to Theia's at the name of her ride - oh yeah, she knew exactly who the dreaded Pip was. Good, it would make this all the sweeter. It was ridiculous really, if you could ride and were willing to work hard for it, you could get something out of him. She'd seen people get a fine tune out of the bay on occasion, and she'd even managed it herself the couple of times she'd had to pass on her own horses for one of the uni's. She hadn't become Captain for no reason, unlike her friends and their extracurricular activities, there was no bribing on her part. She had worked and earned her way to this point, some blood and sweat involved; no tears though, Theia didn't do bitching and crying. The smirk was small, but if Wynter looked hard enough she would see it.
A slight challenging tilt of her head as she removed the expression from her face once again, waiting for some kind of argument or stamping of the feet. "Ah well, I will go get him saddled up then." Well then, acceptance - this was an interesting start. "You have ten minutes." She'd almost said five, but she was feeling generous. Ten would be more than enough, as long as she could her ass into gear and didn't faff. Theia hated faffing. Yes, she loved her horses and took great care of them, but she was to the point when it came to looking after them; horses didn't like faff either. "So, how are you this fine morning?" She blinked at the words and gave Wynter a look. Small talk? "I don't do brownie points and my ass doesn't accept kisses," She warned, "let's not pretend you give a toss about my day, and I'll do that same." She wasn't interested in pleasentries or playing pretend. They were here for a job, essentially - Theia would be picking the best for the team, and the place was going to have to be hard earned.
She crossed her arms as she surveyed the woman's tacking up, but other than the odd cursory glance she wasn't all that bothered. She knew the girl had some ability or she wouldn't be here - nobody got on the team from bullshitting their ability to care for a horse. Theia remained in the barn isle, a slight impatient air about her as she clock watched. When Wynter finally brought the animal out and was set to go, she gave her a pointed look. "After you, Cap." "You're late. I said ten." She made an unimpressed noise and shook her head, turning on her heel and marching off toward the large indoor arena where she'd set up a test of sorts for the rider. There were a few poles out to warm up over, along with a course of eight jumps with varying degree of difficulty depending on the course Theia gave them. You could bet your bottom dollar Wynter was going to hate this, but Theia was going to enjoy every minute. She held the gate open for her to enter, and then promptly shut it behind her. "Warm the horse up in your own time. You can make use of any of the equipment laid out." She wasn't going to spoon feed them, they needed to be able to do this much at least and she liked to see how they all handled being out on their own without instruction. Some failed at this point along and Theia avoided wasting her time by getting them to dismount and give up on their dreams.
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Theia looked again at the crumpled sign up sheet clutched in her hand, glancing over the names despite having them committed to memory already. Her gaze lingered on one in particular and her brows pinched together in a frown. That was was an issue. She couldn't lie, she'd actually been mulling it over somewhat since she'd received the completed sheet. Contrary to popular belief, but Theia didn't share everything with Shi's inner circle; they were her friends, of course, and pretty much her family, but she was not Shiloh - who knew everything about everyone and called the shots on who would receive the daily misery, and she was not Alisha who went out of her way to be a colossal bitch to everyone. She was generally the quiet, broody, miserable looking one with the resting bitch face - always present, rarely spoke to anyone outside the group. It was hard for people to know what she was thinking. Funny enough, sometimes she didn't always agree with her friends, and if she was bothered enough she'd make it known.
Her and Alisha were not the best of friends, they got on plenty, but Theia couldn't help but roll her eyes at the theatrics sometimes and the effort she went to piss people off. Theia was all about minimal effort; she didn't have the time for it. She'd known about the issues she'd had with the roommate, she'd been part of some of it - partly because she had thought some of it was funny but partly out of duty. It didn't mean she blindly followed lead with things that were said and done though. Shi wouldn't force her either, even if there was a bit of a head butt. Theia hadn't told the others about the list, but Shiloh had found it out anyway. She knew shit, sometimes even Theia didn't know how she found this stuff out - it was next level MI5 shit. She'd made a comment about Wynnie being one of those on the list, along with the others of notable worth. Horses weren't Shi's forte, it was Theia's territory - even though Lis could ride, she chose not to - and Theia did not appreciate the idea of being instructed on who to allow onto the team and who not to, however tactfully Shi tried to do it.
It was a tough one, whilst she was loyal to her friends right to the bone, she was and always had been her own person, with her own opinions. She didn't always do what she was told, but at the same time... She sighed, grumbling as she headed toward the stable yard. She had two of her own horses that she worked blood, sweat and tears to keep in luxury unlike herself. They wouldn't be using hers for this though, she'd assigned the riders some of the Uni's horses, matching them up at random.. mostly. Hell, she might be her own person, but that didn't mean her friends couldn't reap some benefits - Wynnie would be working her little ass off with her assigned ride. At least it would prove without a shadow of a doubt that the girl deserved the team. Theia raised a brow slightly at the sight of the girl already on the yard. "Keen one, aren't you," It wasn't a question and she looked the girl over but made no further comment, instead she glanced at the horse the girl was speaking with. "He's not yours. Today, you get Pip." She said simply, her expression giving nothing away. She didn't bother to introduce herself, she was well aware of who Wynnie was and she knew Wynnie knew her. She knew Wynnie would always know who Pip was - the most stubborn mule of a horse the yard had to offer. If you worked hard and pushed the right buttons, the horse went surprisingly well, but he was quick to wheedle out the morons from the experts.
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"Hopefully I know the song, might take me a few tries." Theia smiled, one of her genuine one's that she only served to her friends on those rare occasions. "I'm sure I can handle listening to you work it out," She shrugged, curious to hear him play - even if it was not the time to right now. She rolled her shoulders a little and stepped back from his stuff, glancing at Joe to check she hadn't overstepped a mark too badly - she was frequently doing it to him; overstepping lines in the sand and boundaries without giving him a choice. She couldn't help herself with him, she just seemed to bulldoze her way through his life without preamble. It seemed to work for them, but he was still her friend and she kept an eye on when she was really pushing things too far.
When he got up and started moving, she turned to help him, throwing sheets over things and straightening the odd one that didn't quite fall right over what he wanted to keep safe. She couldn't help but laugh when she looked at it all. The overkill of it. "This looks like something out of Dexter; not planning on murdering me are you?" She joked with a snort of laughter, and then she hesitated. Maybe now was the time to offer her measly gift. Her hand went to her pocket where she'd stashed the papers and she bit her lip and then pulled it out, trying not to lose face as she unfolded it and moved over toward him. A tinge of pink touched the apples of her cheeks - unusual for her, but she cleared her throat and ignored it. "So I kind of thought .. with the whole ceiling painting, that it might be nice to paint them as the actual stars. If I go in blind I can guarantee it'll look ridiculous - I'll try too hard to make it even and then end up overdoing it and shit. But this... we can kind of try and follow and then it'll be as close to looking up at the stars outside as we can make it without pulling off the roof?" She peered at him, almost nervous for his reaction.
[attr="class","theresa-googlepix-text"]And what's so bad about that?
[attr="class","theresa-googlepix-text2"]Wow, I never thought I'd see the day you were concerned for Shi's welfare? Do you suddenly like her more than me? Your new favourite fucked up friend?