Welcome to Hickstead, home to both Seven Oak Stables, and Blue Acre - two rival stables. Both offer opportunities for their clients to reach the highest level of excellence. Each stable differs from the other, so choose wisely and never forget, loyalty is everything... Meanwhile as the stables battle it out, there's trouble brewing at the university. Be careful, if you don't pick a side you may get caught in the cross-fire...
This is an chilled out rpg with a super friendly and relaxed atmosphere! Remember to sign up with your characters full name in all caps and don't forget to do your claims! Thank you and Welcome, we've been established since 10th March 2009 but unfortunately have had to close guest view of our boards due to multiple sites ripping off our hard work, such a shame! Come chat to us in Discord before joining if you like!.
Shaun felt like he was going insane. Jace was yet again on the war path after begging him for help. He'd hugged his boy and rang the clinic and promised to take him at three which was the earliest they could get him in. Maybe finally there would be a chance for change - but thirty minutes before they were due to leave, Jace refused. It was a lost fight and Shaun knew it the moment he started to try and force his hand.
But he couldn't allow it to slide either. So he had been verbally strong, and now again, taken to physically trying to man-handle Jace to the garage but getting him past the door frame was easier said than done. There was a lot of screaming, a lot of vulgar language and threats, and a few lucky hits that Shaun wouldn't admit made the world spin rapidly. Eventually Shaun gave up and just lost his temper, yelling back at Jace - throwing insults back and watching the young man snarl and bark back with tears running down his face.
"I HATE YOU SO MUCH!"
"AND I FUCKING HATE YOU TOO JACE!" Shaun yelled back. "I TRY TO HELP YOU AND ALL YOU DO IS THROW IT BACK AT EVERYONE! GO TO YOUR FUCKING ROOM NOW AND STAY THERE!"
Jace went storming off up to his room and slammed the door with enough force to rattle the photos on the walls downstairs. Shaun listened to the muffled yelling for a moment before letting out a low groan of pain. There was an immediate rushing headache, and he knew the hit he'd taken to the head wasn't a good thing either - the doctors had told him to avoid further head knocks for at least three months or more, and here he was barely a fortnight after the fact getting hit in the head by the same son. Leaning on the wall, he rubbed his face and reached for the wedding bands around his neck.
He was definitely asking for new headphones for his birthday or for Christmas. Heck, if anyone in this household still remembered to celebrate important milestones and holidays at that point. It wouldn’t be for listening to music though, no, it would be to block out the voices and breathing of the rest of his family members.
This was supposed to be a relaxing kind of day but Jace went and screwed that up once again. Well, actually it wasn’t even a surprise anymore, was it? ’And people say I’m the dramatic one..’ Nash mumbled as he fixed himself a sandwich in the kitchen, why did he have to be the only other one home today anyways, usually it was the fifteen year old who was out and about as much as possible to stay away from all of this.
The accusing shouts and roars had reached their peak and simmered down as the pictures on the wall started rattling. Nash didn’t care as long as the one with mum in it wouldn't take a tumble because that was the only thing he would get upset about, even if it was still hard to look at the photograph in question.
Jace yelling at dad and their father bellowing back at their brother wasn’t even something that shocked Nash anymore. If Tracey Brechah would’ve been here she’d have been livid at the display that just whirled through her house, then again, if mum was here none of this would’ve been happening right now. "Guess you really told him this time.." he scoffed while rolling his eyes at his father as he passed the man who was leaning against the wall. The teen knew the words his father had spat at his older brother didn’t hold any truth, just frustration, emotional pain and grief.
And apparently some physical discomfort too. The groan of pain was one that worried him though, did he need to call Stephen? Mav? Derek even? He wasn’t going to ask his father because he already knew what the man’s answer would be to that question.
Shaun felt whatever strength he had simply abandon him at the sound of Nash's voice somewhere behind him. Was it bad that he had hoped that none of the boys were around when Jace was kicking off?
"Don't start Nash," he grunted in return, trying to keep his hands from shaking, "Please, just don't start."
He could feel everything starting to tank out, and if he wasn't careful he was going to collapse. That anger that had propped him up was running away as quickly as it came and for a moment the stabbing pain in his chest brought a momentary panic to his brain, but he didn't show it. Holding onto the wall, he made his way out to the kitchen table and sank into the chair. He couldn't let Nash see his weakness - he didn't need to be chewed out by his older sons again over the lack of care he was giving. How he was being selfish.
Tracey give me strength, I don't know how you did it... I'm so tired already...
”Start what?” he wondered as he took a bite out of his crisp sandwich, trying to act as casual as possible even if all of this left a mark on everyone in the family. Things had never been perfect in the Breckah home but it had always been loving and warm, adjectives that were hard to find these days. ”Looked like you just finished it though?” Nash did his best to keep the sarcasm out of his voice but the meaningful words were laced with scorn.
He had been on his way to the living room, just wanting to indulge in watching some mindless television now that nobody else was home and he got a chance to have first pick. However, something in his father’s demeanor as the man sank into one of the kitchen chairs told him he needed to stay right here. Nash leaned against the counter, mulling over what to say, ’It’s not your fault, dad’ No, he couldn’t say that since he wasn’t sure whose fault it really was. ’You’re doing the best you can, dad’. Nope, not that either.
”Fuck,” he mumbled before realizing that had been said out loud.
Shaun just waved a hand, mildly irritated, "Don't start being sarcastic. My patience is out."
Carefully he combed through his hair, feeling the stitches in the back of his scalp. Jace was something else and some days all he wanted was to strangle him.
”Fuck.”
That made him look up, despite the room spinning, "Don't swear Nash. You know better."
”I’m not being sarcastic…” Nash said sheepishly as he took another bite out of his sandwich, the crunching of the crisps echoing through the kitchen. Awkward much? It was hard to think of stuff to say to his father, there hadn’t been a whole lot of moments where it had been the two of them lately. Things were not like before anymore. God, he really missed mum.
The teen snorted at the man telling him not to swear, maybe keeping his mouth shut was the way to go here but he couldn’t hold it in either, not after the display that played out moments before. ”Seriously? Did you even hear you and Jace just now? And I’m supposed to be some good choir boy?” It was hard not to scoff at all of it, ”Forget it”
Shaun let it go - there was no point in arguing with Nash over that little detail. He didn't have the mental capacity to keep up with the wits of his son.
”Seriously? Did you even hear you and Jace just now? And I’m supposed to be some good choir boy? Forget it.”
That made Shaun look up and affix his son with a look of disapproval from his seat.
"Seriously," he responded, his tone no longer as calm, "I don't expect choir boys, I expect better men. There are only three things I ask of any of you, you included Nash. Do the best you can in school, respect everyone - especially women, and be better than me. I want to see better from you and your brothers - not some shoddy half cut copy of myself. I want the best for all of you, not replicas."
He got up from the chair, holding onto the back of it as he swayed a little bit, "I might not be your mother, but she would want better too Nash - you know she hated swearing from you boys."
His father gave him a stern look as he eyed him, a look that Nash knew meant he needed to rein it in if he didn’t want to step over that line and find himself in trouble.
Do good in school, respect others and don’t turn into your old man. Well, at least he was managing, or pretending to manage, in most of those areas. The teen had eyed his sandwich sheepishly as the man in the chair spat out the words about his boys needing to be better men than he was. Shaun Breckah was by no means an angel but suddenly Nash realized the man was maybe being way too hard on himself after everything that had happened.
Dad was right though, Fuck. I’m so sorry, mum’. Tracey had hated it whenever any of her brood, and even dad, had used any bad language and would’ve gently reminded them by putting a hand on their shoulder or back if she wanted them to rethink their words. Or, well, she would’ve scolded before making you do any extra chores.
”I know…” he said quietly, almost on the verge of tears as dad mentioned mum and he put his sandwich down on the kitchen counter. His appetite was gone alright. Nash sniffed back his emotions, he wasn’t going to show any of that right now after what had just happened with Jace but as he looked up at his father he saw the man swaying, ”Dad? Are you okay? Do I need to call Stephen? Or a doctor?”
”Dad? Are you okay? Do I need to call Stephen? Or a doctor?”
Yes...
"No," he said calmly, despite the slight tremor in his words, "Don't worry your brothers. They have their lives to live."
Was it just him or was the world really spinning? His hand reflexively gripping the back of the chair a little tighter. But he refused to let that show. He couldn't afford to. Despite the years gone by and the time Tracey had put into mellowing him out of his stoic habits, they were almost reinforced. He wasn't fully focused but he let go of the chair and moved over to Nash, his movements unsteady as he reached out and pulled Nash in for a hug.
"I'm sorry," he said quietly, "That was unfair of me."
He wasn’t going to let his father do this, he wasn’t going to let the man make him cry because if he started on the waterworks now, certain emotions that had been cropped up way too long were going to be coming out.
Nash tried not to lean into the hug, tried to disconnect his heart from his brain as his father apologized. The teen closed his eyes as his dad’s warm chest connected with his own as the man’s arms around him felt like the safest places in the world. A feeling he had not known for the past couple of months, one he had longed for.
No. No. No. Too late…
”They care about you, dad” he blurted out softly, a few thick emotional tears slowly making their way down his cheek as he almost buried himself into Shaun Breckah’s hug ”We all do….”
They already put their lives on hold for all of this. And you are not okay.
”You sure you don’t need a doctor? We can’t lose you as well….” the words were soft and Nash didn’t look up as he kept his head tucked into the embrace. He could clearly feel his father’s rapid heartbeat, ”We all miss her, dad”
”They care about you, dad,” he blurted out softly, ”We all do….”
Shaun wrapped Nash up, holding him close - a hand gently patting Nash's back whilst the other cradled his head combing slightly through his hair. He tucked his own head and kissed the top of Nash's head.
"I know," he said softly, trying to remain neutral, "I know."
”You sure you don’t need a doctor? We can’t lose you as well….”
"I'm sure, I don't need a doctor. I'm going nowhere Nash, no matter how tempting a sympathetic devil can be... I'm going to stick around so long you'll get sick of me."
He probably should've reached out, grabbed the phone and called Kyle or Elijah - better yet the ambulance - but it kept echoing in his mind, it's not about you.
”We all miss her, dad.”
If his heart wasn't hammering before, it certainly picked up. It was almost like it was breaking again, a new fissure beside the one already made by her absence.
"I know Nash. I do," he said, his voice cracking slightly, "But we... we have to keep marching forward for her."
God didn't he just want to lay down and die... It would be easier... It's not all about you Shaun. You selfish bastard...
More tears trickled down his face as his father’s arms swallowed him up while the man kissed the top of his head. Shit, he wasn’t supposed to cry, he wasn't supposed to show any emotion, his dad didn’t care about anything, right? Not since mum had passed and he had vowed to himself that he wasn’t going to crack and was going to stick with putting on a brave face no. matter. what.
Big fail.
He didn’t believe the words about not needing a doctor. Their father had never looked as pale and broken before in the entire fifteen years Nash had been alive. The part about sticking around till he got sick of him got a small smile out of him, ”Who says I’m not sick of you already?” he managed to sniff the joke through the tears he couldn’t hold back and wrapped his arms even tighter around the man.
Dad’s voice cracked, something it hadn’t done often in the past but it had happened more frequently these past couple of months after mum’s passing.
'.... we have to keep marching forward for her.'
He was right but it was so hard to put one foot in front of the other each and every morning after waking up. It felt like they were walking further and further away from her presence each and every day.
”Yea..I know…but it’s so hard, dad” he sobbed, ”our family is a mess without mum....you and Jace are going to end up killing each other”
Shaun chuckled softly, "Well, it's my job to make you ever more sick of me. That's a dad's job, means I'm doing it right." ”Yea..I know…but it’s so hard, dad,” he sobbed, ”Our family is a mess without mum....you and Jace are going to end up killing each other.”
Something inside of Shaun broke as he listened to his son. There was no covering up the fact that Nash was right - the household was a mess, a horrible mess and a lot of that was Shaun's fault. He could see that now. He could see just how much he'd fucked up everything. And it seemed beyond his fixing - there was only so much he could do, the rest he wasn't sure he would be able to fix but he would try.
"I know it's hard Nash," Shaun said softly, "But I promise it will get easier. It mightn't seem like it will ever get better, but I promise it will. But right now, it's good to be sad, it's ok to sit and cry and let it all out because you need to. We are a mess, but in typical Breckah fashion, we'll man-handle everything back into a new routine together, ok? I miss her too."
He sighed and shook his head, "Jace and I don't see eye to eye often much any more, and I know he and I are fighting a lot, but I won't let it spiral to that level ok? You don't need to be worrying about all of that. I've just got to try and wrangle Jace into a doctor's office."
The teen snorted, ”Well you excel at that then” he stated but didn’t break the hug that had been so welcoming. Apparently it was his father’s job to make his children sick of him. Nash understood that though, parents were there to teach their kids, to make sure they were set up with good morals and values for the rest of their lives so they could be part of the community without causing trouble. Shaun and Tracey Breckah had done pretty good considering they raised eight boys and had their own challenges along the way. God, he had been sick of his mum’s nagging at times too but now he just missed it like crazy.
Of course there was always the odd one out. Jace had always been different, always gone over that edge whereas Nash had turned it into a sport to walk the line as stealthy as he could to his own advantage. Nash also knew when to rein it in and there had definitely been times where he had figured that out just a snap too late and had gotten the full wrath of his father while being told off. He usually knew quite well when to back down though, Jace didn’t, it was like he thrived on enraging just about anyone that crossed his path.
”I would just let the cops take him there instead of making them drag him home every time” he said softly through his tears as he shrugged. Did he mean that? No, but it sure seemed the easiest way. Dad would’ve killed him or any of the other boys living at home if they got escorted home but somehow with Jace it just worked differently, maybe his father didn’t have all the answers either as the boy had always thought while growing up.
Shaun forced himself to smile despite how much that hurt to hear, his tone light hearted, "Yeah, I know. I take top prize at being the shittiest, most terrible father a family could ask for."
There had to be some light despite the mood, and more so he refused to break the hug. He squeezed just that little bit more despite his muscles protesting, patting Nash on the back. His son needed him and somewhere hidden away, Shaun needed this just as much.
"I know that no amount of apologizing can undo all the time I've spend in the bottom of bottles, too out of my mind to comprehend a single thing going on, but I am sorry you had to witness all of that. I was selfish. But there will be no more of that. I need you to know Nash, that even when you think I'm too busy or mad or just seem like the world's biggest asshole, I am here for you when you need me, when you want to hear me tell you its a bad idea or that everythings ok. I'm here."
”I would just let the cops take him there instead of making them drag him home every time."
Shaun made a slight face at that, "If only it were that easy Nash, but he's one of us no matter how much of headache he gives you. No matter what, we're all family and that means no man left behind remember? We are the Breckahs, we look out for each other."
