how he'd gotten from the cross country course to the hospital, he couldn't remember. he'd been riding with his brother, challenging him to a timed run to challenge himself, to see if colarado still had the gumption he'd had when jake had been showing him full time and he'd been going brilliant, until he hadn't. the usual steady horse had baulked at a tiger trap, something they'd jumped before and jake hadn't been expecting it. he'd been too cocky to. had he been riding shade or even cleo, he'd have been more ready but he often found himself getting complacent while on the back of his usually rock-solid mount, but he should have known better.

now he was laying in a hospital bed, the stark surroundings a far cry from the woods he'd been in just hours ago without a care in the world. he'd tried listening to the nurses and the doctors but he couldn't focus on them, their faces were a blur, their voices sounded like they were talking to him through a dozen sheets of glass and all he really knew was what they were pumping into him wasn't making him feel any better. the pain was ever present, the left side of his chest felt like it was caving in every time he took a shallow breath in, unable to take anything deeper, even with the mask they had strapped onto his face.

the one thing he was sure of was that his brother was there, he could hear his voice, feel his presence close to him. it felt stupid to think that but it's all he could call it. he was glad he was there because there was no denying that he was scared. none of the faces around him looked anything but worried and even in his half out of it state, he could tell it wasn't good. he knew they wanted to operate on him, he'd heard that much but he still couldn't tell anyone why, the words ruptured spleen just weren't sinking in. he could feel the broken ribs, he knew they were there. how could he not, but they masked anything else he might have been feeling.

he watched one of the nurses replace a bag of red liquid on the line that was hanging just above his head and he closed his eyes for a second before he turned his head in the direction that he hoped his brother was. if they wanted him to have surgery, he couldn't do it until he'd seen the one person that he kept seeing in his head. the one face he was scared that he'd never see again. his daughter, maddie. only a baby, she was his whole world and if they thought there was a chance he might not make it out of this (even though those words hadn't been said, he just couldn't let it go) he needed to see her. "ben." he rasped out, the mask muffling his voice a little. "maddie.." he said it more as a question than just a name, hoping his brother got the message and quickly. his eyes flickered to the door as another nurse came into the room, though she didn't appear to be here for him so he didn't pay much attention to her, he just let himself drift out of focus as the nurse told his brother that their parents were here.

well his words had had the desired effect on the groom who was watching them and giving his unsolicited opinion about what was happening in the ring, but it had had an unwanted effect on the horse. something jake should have thought of before but it was just something he needed to deal with now. would it change his motives and demeanour? no. would it mean he'd need to work a bit harder to gain the horses trust back? yes. though he was positive it would be a darn sight easier without an audience questioning the horses motives when he flicked his tail or took a breath. he cringed a little as the horses hooves struck the metal bars on the fence but he couldn't help but give props to the horse for the way the groom scurried away from the pen and into the barn.

he kept his body loose and as limber as he hoped he could be as he watched the horses with careful eyes. he wasn't sure there was any intention to hurt him coming from the horse so he stood his ground for the moment, watching as intently as he could without staring at the poor animal. he saw the ears and the way he was tense but he couldn't pick up danger vibes from him, at least not to the point he was worried enough to get out of the pen. a kick or a bite would be painful but it wouldn't be the end of him and he could survive them. he just hoped he was quick enough to pick up the change in the horse if he did decide to go from testing the water to trampling puny humans.

the kick the horse threw hit air and that in itself helped jake make his decision to stay where he was. he doubted a horse that hated people would give him another chance to hurt him if he really didn't want him there. it was something of a gamble but jake was all for the risks, that was the only way to get a decent reward. he heard the squeal and he lifted his hands up a little as the horse was coming towards him, he held his ground though. "steady mate." he said softly as he fought his own flight response to take a step back from the horse. "that was my fault i know, but he was an idiot." it was something of a blessing as the horse came into his space because while he was close to him, jake could move with him to avoid getting kicked or bitten somewhat, with horses the closer you were to danger the further you were from harm. or something like that, he could remember his old trainer from when he was about 7 telling him that. "it's just us now bud."