Welcome to Hickstead, home to both Seven Oak Stables, and Blue Acre - two rival stables. Both offer opportunities for their clients to reach the highest level of excellence. Each stable differs from the other, so choose wisely and never forget, loyalty is everything... Meanwhile as the stables battle it out, there's trouble brewing at the university. Be careful, if you don't pick a side you may get caught in the cross-fire...
This is an chilled out rpg with a super friendly and relaxed atmosphere! Remember to sign up with your characters full name in all caps and don't forget to do your claims! Thank you and Welcome, we've been established since 10th March 2009 but unfortunately have had to close guest view of our boards due to multiple sites ripping off our hard work, such a shame! Come chat to us in Discord before joining if you like!.
"I think that when I met you, my compass started working again." Joel's eyebrows rose slowly in surprise at how sweet the words were and for once in his life, he was a little stumped for a response, his hand rubbing the back of his neck. "Well that's very kind, i hope your compass isn't broken," and the jokes returned. He could do sweet and he could do romantic, but he'd never had a solid long term relationship that went past the surface. This was new territory for him, uncharted waters, and he wasn't afraid, he was just figuring out how to navigate when he was in this kind of odd, murky head space. "We all have to be good at something." He gave her an acknowledging nod. That he could agree with - he'd met enough people over the years. "Even if it's canon fodder," he said quietly. He'd meant it as a joke, genuinely.. but the second the words were out of his mouth he regretted it - regretted the truth of it. After all, he'd chosen to go in Dustin's place because he felt Dustin was worth more as a life than he was. He regretted it because he could hear the sound of gunfire in his ears, and his head.
"There is nothing wrong with vanilla ice cream." His smile returned, glad to know it wasn't totally off putting if he liked the simple flavours in life. He wanted to comment that it didn't make him boring in the bedroom, but he didn't have the heart. He wasn't ready for that. "It means you can add any flavor and toppings you want, and not have to worry about the flavours not going together." He put a finger to his nose lightly, "exactly, you get it! Even that chocolate sauce stuff that goes hard when you add it to the ice cream.. never understood how that worked though." He admitted, having been obsessed with it as a kid, much to his mother's warning of too much sugar.
He glanced at the forgotten menu for a moment, wondering if he should go up to the counter to order something, but perfectly happy to sit here with her instead. He didn't really want to draw attention to himself with his casts and crutches, he was already getting enough looks that made him want to pull the hood up on his jumper. Lani was the only thing tethering him to reality. "There's that tiny part of me that still believes that there is treasure to be found at the end of a rainbow." Joel's smile was soft, "I think that's a good thing. It's a bleak old world if you stop dreaming," and he liked that she still looked for gold at the end of a rainbow, it was a little bit of light at the end of a dark tunnel. "I'd love the company!" He smiled again - damn his face almost hurt from all the smiling, it had been that long. "And a second opinion on venues would be good too. Plus, having someone to help carry my bags would be a big help too." He gave a knowing nod. "Ah so I see, I'm the pack donkey, huh? I get it."
His world lit up just a little bit more with her smile. "The compass would come in handy, I haven't been known for having the best sense of direction." Joel gave her a warning look, "Mmmm that much is evident, falling in with me - terrible sense of direction." He joked, even if a large part of him believed that. He wasn't good for her, especially not now, and she was falling into the path of a wayward lost soul, unsure where he now needed to go to get out of the dark. Even before all this darkness, he'd known he wasn't the best person - too easy distracted, too easily led astray by his own interests and mind and then he was gone without warning, returning on a whim without always thinking about people's feelings or the consequences... but now? Now he was stuck in some depressive lost space he didn't know he'd ever get out of. "And an excellent sense of humour always comes in handy when you've thrown caution to the wind." Joel managed a ghost of a smile, "Finally, something I'm good for."
He was a little delighted in the blush, even his dampened self could feel an accomplishment for that. "It was an adjective, not a compliment." Joel wrinkled his nose then shrugged it off, "guess I'll have to work harder for a compliment then," He mused, distracted from his thoughts before they could take him too far down a rabbit hole by her burst of laughter, a laugh of his own joining in - much to his surprise. He couldn't lie, but Lani was really just quite stunning when she laughed like that - completely natural. "Vanilla, as in boring, plain, no fillers, like vanilla ice cream." Joel pressed his lips together to avoid making another sexual related comment, and then allowed himself to say one thing, "So what if Vanilla is my favourite, am I boring?" He was teasing, because it was his go to, and vanilla was not his favourite.
"The assignment is about new beginnings." Ah well wasn't that some kind of irony right now. Lot's of 'new' for Joel, and his days were dawning darker than he was used to, it felt more like he was in the beginning of an apocalypse than a whole new bright world. He knew he should be grateful for being saved, and he was, but feelings were confusing and complicated, and there was a whole lot of other things wrapped up in that like guilt, anger, frustration, disappointment - a lot of that also aimed at himself, not his friends - and a lot of bleak, of hopelessness, a lot of stuff of wadded up in a ball he wasn't ready to unpack. "I like to think that every time the sun comes up, we get a chance to try again. It's a new day, so it offers us a chance to start again. So, I was thinking of heading to the beach with all my gear and watching the sun come up." Joel gave a small smile, letting her words wash over him to calm the storm that he'd been driving up, settling the anxious feelings he'd been trying to suppress. "That's a nice way to think about things," After all, the sun coming up every day was just about physics, but sometimes it was about the meaning behind the action. "Let me know when you do it, if you don't mind company for it."
"That's very true. A tour guide would be handy, or at least some company." He smiled at that, company was always nice - especially when it was with Lani. The idea of going exploring was a wistful one - days when he used to fit his whole world into a backpack and disappear into the 'where ever' without so much as a backwards glance. It was funny, how the urge to do that had slowly diminished over the years. He still liked to explore and go on hikes and see things, but his heart was now firmly planted in Hickstead with these friends and family he hadn't had before, and whenever he went, a string always tugged him back eventually. With Lani with him though, he wondered if that urge might settle - wondered if his heart was now tied to her instead and that he'd only feel that tug when there was distance between them. Highly likely given that was how he had felt being in war. "I could provide some company - it would be questionable at best, but I have a compass and an excellent sense of humour." He offered with a small smile.
"Naturally." He winked at her for that. He pretended to be offended by her laughing at him. "Well, that's one way of describing it. A good description too." He looked her up and down, "I'm seeing you in a whole new light now." He teased, despite the small element of truth - the only way he saw her in a new light was just that she was his saviour, his light in the dark, his only good thing to keep him from drowning right now. "I'd add sweet to that list too." He pulled a face, "oh no, that's like a fake compliment... like when you call someone 'bubbly'." He countered, though he didn't really mind being 'sweet'. It didn't feel true after where he'd been the last few weeks.
He was glad to see her shake her head - no re-structuring was definitely a good start. People always came in wanted to 'make their mark' when really, things were running smooth and they didn't need to uproot. "Not yet, anyway." His smile warmed at her beam, she had such a great bloody smile. "Busy is good." A slight raise of a brow, expecting her to continue. "It keeps me out of trouble. Does tend to stop me from getting out an exploring though. I think my camera is feeling a little neglected, because the stuff I have to do for my course is a little more vanilla than I'm used to." At that, his second eyebrow rose to join his first. "Vanilla? I thought you shot scenery and stuff, you're starting to make it sound a little... sexual," He joked, "I'd still like to see them though, even if they are a little... missionary," He hoped he hadn't overstepped the line there, but he found himself actually having a little fun. "I do need to go and get some sunrise photos for an assignment, so that should be fun." Joel gave a small nod, feeling guilty that he couldn't offer to go climbing with her right now to get the best shots - he knew the perfect place too, but it would have to wait. Aside from the injuries, he didn't know if he'd even be able to climb as well when he was healed, and the motivation to do it was far from there. "What's the assignment about?" He asked, wanting to say he'd come to the sunrises with her but worried about letting her down if he couldn't get out of bed or a foot out the door.
"I was wondering the same thing. The answer to which, I wouldn't have a clue - which probably means I haven't done enough exploring." Joel smiled at that, "Then I think you've got more exploring to do," which was exactly the kind of thing he would encourage and usually join her on, but he wasn't good at leaving the flat and being sociable at the moment, and he couldn't quite get the words out. If there were wild horses out in England somewhere, he hoped they were truly free. It wasn't quite like America or Australia, there wasn't as much space, or as much free green space especially, and so there were only a few areas they would likely be. Maybe he could look into it at some point, if only to give him something to focus on that was for Lani.
His lips twitched as she poked her tongue out at him. "How childish," he teased, as if he wasn't just as immature himself. "As much as I would like something stronger, I can't." He scrunched his nose, "like still water?" He asked, raising a brow - still teasing. "It just tastes like static to me, like what pins and needles feel like." Joel added, mocking a shudder.
"Old, is the last word I'd use to describe you." Joel gave a quiet laugh, though it didn't quite match his usual carefree laughter. At least it was something. "And what's the first word? Handsome? Charming?"Broken? Sad? Miserable? He kept those to himself, churning out the kinds of things he used to think of himself, the things he used to feel. "Things have been busy. Someone bought the ranch, so there have been a few changes, still don't know what I think of the boss lady, but I still have a job, so I can't complain. I now have my GED... no, sorry, my GCSE, and I'm doing a photography course through correspondence, so I scoop poop during the day and I'm a student by night." Joel raised his brows slightly, "A change of hands is always difficult to process, but at least if they're keeping you on, that's a good sign. No mention of 're structuring?'" He asked curiously, knowing how much Lani enjoyed her job and hoping that wouldn't change. "Congratulations on your GCSE, you sound like you're busy. You're taking care of yourself, right?" What an ironic thing to say given his own state. He could have rolled his eyes at himself.
Joel stayed quiet, giving Avery time to process, to mull it over and decide what he was or wasn't going to say. Even as worry and anxiety started to eat away at Joel, concern over what was so back that Avery couldn't tell him. It was really starting to worry him now, what was so bad that it was taking this long to get out - was someone terminally ill? Had an awful diagnosis? Was it money issues? Joel would help in anyway he could, and the longer he watched Avery, the more he realised how much like family the guy was to him - they all were to him. How they could almost have been his family, if he'd stuck by Heather - how he could have lost it all, if Avery hadn't been so understanding when he had split with his sister instead of marrying her. It had crept up on him, this closeness, but he couldn't imagine life without them, didn't want to either. He'd damn well do anything for these people, and he hadn't felt like that in a long time, not ever really, aside for his mother and Kyle, when they'd been closer.
He almost wanted to put a hand over Avery's, but he thought it might be a step too far - they were men after all, blokes and all that, emotion was tough to handle. "they've called dustin back to the front line." Oh. Of all the things he had expected, that was way way way down the list and Joel felt himself freeze, in both surprise and then in understanding as he realised what this meant. "his flight leaves tonight." Joel frowned slightly, staying sat as he watched his friend stand up. He knew Avery needed to release the tension, but with Joel staying sat and calm, it would hopefully keep him grounded and not wind him up. "Why so soon?" He asked after a moment of quiet - was it really that urgent? Could they not do without one man for another day or two at least. "I'm so sorry Av, is there no way to contest it? I thought he was off on injury?" The last he had heard about it, not that Dustin would tell him, was that he was on permanent leave due to an injury to his leg that left him crippled - not in an obvious way, the limp was faint and depended on the weather apparently, but it meant he wasn't completely in top shape. Why would they take back someone of less value?
"our family .." Joel took a careful swig of his drink, holding the liquid in his mouth for a moment befor ehe slowly swallowed. "hayden's accepted it, just .. but heather, i don't think she'll cope again." Joel swallowed, but his throat had already gone dry. "and dean .. god .. his face joel" Joel frowned, his mind racing a million miles an hour. "We'll do what we can, to help them." He promised, "they'll know but we'll distract them, get them out, make sure everyone is always fed and the roof stays over their heads." It wasn't going to be enough, he chewed his lower lip. It wasn't fair, why take Dustin, there were so many more men out there, so many fit and healthy young men, like Joel.... he glanced at Av. Yeah, just like Joel. "Does it have to be him? Is it him they need or just a body for the numbers?" He asked, his voice lowering as he tried to keep his thoughts to himself.
He couldn't lie, Lani's smile helped to warm something in him a little bit. He wished it could heal all the terrible things inside him, but it was going to take some time to do that. Perhaps if he saw Lani enough, she would warm all the cold and dark places he now had. He wasn't used to them, he'd never been someone to reflect enough on the shitty things in life to leave behind dark and scary corners, he'd always accepted the bad and moved on, but now he was stuck living in it, of groping his way through this gloomy swamp with no idea of how to get out before he drowned. "Wild horses couldn't have kept me away." He managed a ghost of a smile at that, "do we have many wild horses around here?" He asked, a little curiously. It was the kind of thing he used to go looking for when hiking, it was sort of how he'd found Cosmo, and then the horse had stuck with him like they were their own herd.
At least she didn't seem to mind his fumble, or comment on it. "Can I get a sparkling water, please?" He managed to pull a face at that in a joking manner. "You're a sparkling water drinker?" He asked, looking slightly horrified, "one of those people? I had no idea. Oh no, this is never going to work..." He teased, a sliver of his usual humour returning. "How are things?" Well that sobered him up pretty quick and he looked away from her, studying the room for a moment before he nodded, an unusually fake expression sliding into place. "I'm fine," He lied. It felt almost too easy, sliding off his tongue like tar. The thing was, Joel didn't do lying. He might have played around a lot, and said stupid things but he was generally a truth teller, and he wore his heart and his emotions on his sleeve, so rarely hiding them away. "But we don't want to talk about me, very boring same old same old... how are you?"
He started to get a little fidgety as he waited - he was a little early, so it wasn't like Lani was late, but he felt twitchy being in public. Even if his back corner and able to see everyone, he couldn't help but keep looking from face to face, cataloguing their movements and whether they were a threat. No matter how many times he reminded himself that nobody was the enemy, he couldn't help but do it anyway. His hands curled into tight fists, fighting off the urge to get up and leave. It was a quieter time than others but it still felt busy - close and loud, the heat seemed intense and he started to sweat, beads trickling down the back of his neck.
"Hey." Finally, thank God. He let out a relieved breath to see her approach and stood up on instinct to greet her. "Hey," He said, the word a little croaky. Joel cleared his throat and indicated to the seat opposite, returning to his after a moment. He left his hood up, though in the back of his mind he knew that was impolite, but it felt like an extra layer of protection. Things seemed a little easier with Lani here though - like they were in their own bubble. It was still busy and loud, but just a bit dimmer, as if she drew his attention and helped him focus. "Thanks for meeting me," gross, how formal was that? He struggled to find something funny or witty to say, for once drawing a complete blank and floundering. In a panic, he grabbed the menu. "Uh, drinks? You want a drink?"
Joel wasn't sure why he'd agreed to dinner with Lani. Well he did know why - because it was Lani, and the part in him that was still awake, alive and kicking wanted to see her, but it was more the 'going outside' and 'eating' parts that he didn't know why he'd say yes to. Actually another lie - he knew why he hadn't just asked her to come over too. There were other options he could have suggested instead of food, but none of them seemed more appealing anyway. Drinking was very appealing, but if she watched him throw back glass after glass of whiskey she'd probably think something was wrong, and then he'd begin to slur his words and then God knows what words would even come out. Words he probably didn't want her to hear. He could have suggested climbing, but his heart wasn't in it. He hadn't touched his ropes since he'd returned. Part of that was because they reminded him too much of being tied up, and he hated that. Despised how something he had loved now became a fear. Fear to touch the rope, God he was ridiculous.
Food was the easiest option, he just wasn't much up to eating and he knew he was going to waste whatever it was he ordered. Perhaps if he made sure it was something of a small portion, it wouldn't look so bad. He hated wasting things, especially now that he'd known what it was like to be truly hungry, but he had no appetite for it. It suddenly felt too lavish, too absurd, for there to be so much food here, for it to just be available when he had gone days without a scrap, days with having to portion control something that wasn't even a portion to begin with. He'd figure something out.
He'd tried to look presentable but it was hard to care. The only reason he'd tried was for Lani. She didn't deserve some pathetic loser who looked like he lived off the streets. He had managed to get in the shower today. The first time in some days. It had been painful and slow but he'd done it. He hadn't managed to shave, he couldn't stand to look in the mirror at what he'd become - still bruised and pale, his cheeks hollow and his eyes accompanied by bags. He shoved on a hoodie and joggers - he looked at his jeans but he couldn't bare to pick them up. He found himself a booth right at the back but sat facing the door, unable to help but watch the room warily as if someone was about to come steal his crutches.
Joel knew something was really wrong from the fact that Av didn't have some witty comeback. His friend always had something funny or sarcastic to come back at him with for those kinds of words. Fighting talk and all that, his mate had a wicked sense of humour and was always ribbing him - it was why they got on so well. He wondered if perhaps he'd pushed too hard on his own entrance, upset the apple cart somehow. He let the quiet sit between them for a moment, let things sink in as he took another pull from the bottle, reveling in the refreshing cold taste of his beer. It had to be bad, for Avery to be sitting there mulling and stewing so badly. He went through the possibilities, just waiting quietly for when he friend was ready to say whatever it was - feeling the trepidation himself. Surely it was something that could be mended or fixed, or hashed out. He loved Av's family, how close they were, how they stuck together through everything and would literally do anything for each other. It was how a family should be, how he had never been growing up.
He ruffled the pup's ears when Gadget came over, smiling slightly and careful to tuck his beer behind him so the dog couldn't knock it over or try to grab a taste with a sneaky lick. "for once, it's not me." He frowned slightly; his dog house comment automatically then put him onto the thinking it was a relationship issue, and if it wasn't him then.. Holly? Had something happened to her again? "no one's home to put me in it." Which sounded even more ominous, but he didn't want to jump to further conclusions. Him and Holly had to be fine, he'd never seen a couple more in love than those two - ridiculous, disgusting, vomit worthy love. Alright, so the rest of the family and some of their friends gave good competition, but he'd seen Holly and Av make it through so much shit and never falter or waver in their love and support for each other.
Joel looked away to give Avery a moment, watching the dog instead. "we got some news today." Well if this wasn't dragging it out. But he knew Av, and how closed he could be sometimes - a trickle of information was all he might manage. Joel took a moment and gave a slow nod. "Alright.." He said carefully, taking a swig from the bottle again. "I'm guessing bad news?" He added, trying to help nudge whatever it was out of him. "Tell me, Av, what's going on?" He resisted the urge to crack another joke - his friend's serious demeanor begged seriousness in return, now was not the time.
Joel glanced down at his phone as it beeped, unlocking the device to open Avery's text 'out the back, doors open, bring beer.' he snorted and shot back a stupid Gif before shifting the beer in his hand to get a better hold and traipsing round the side of the house. He assumed his friend was too lazy to get off his butt and unlock the front door but it also must have meant the house was empty; an unusual feat for a house as big as theirs, and as full. He opened the hatch on the back gate and let himself in. "Not a burglar!" he called out in warning, shutting the gate behind him in time for a ball of fur to come barrelling at him. He almost dropped his package as he laughed and bent down to ruffle Gadget's ears. The grey speckled nose of Dustin's old chocolate lab glanced up from his perch on the patio, a warning look to check who it was and then a huff as he returned to sunbathing in the weak Autumn sun.
Glancing up from the pup, he spotted Avery. "What did you do?" he asked with a raise of his eyebrows as he crossed over to take a perch on the cold stone of the steps beside his friend. " I assume you're out here as you've been sent to the dog house?" Joel placed the pack of beers down beside him and opened the pack, pulling one out and handing it over. "I'm guessing you'll be wanting one of these?" he offered, and then took another out for himself and popped the top with a key chain on his keys, taking a pull from the bottle.
Joel knew something was up - something big. Avery didn't generally call on him in the way that he had unless he really needed to talk to someone, and it was usually something serious. It didn't necessarily mean it was bad - Joel remembered when Avery had called him before to talk about asking Holly to marry him for example. But he also remembered the times he'd needed to talk following his accident's. It could go either way, but Joel anticipated from the tone of the call that Av needed to talk to someone and it wasnt anything nice. They met a few times to talk about Joe, but Joel could do nothing more than offer an ear for that really. He didn't know about the army or how to handle coming out of it - only similarities with people he had met along the way in his travels.
He had told Av he'd swing by after work, putting off some after school stuff to make the time. He knew when someone needed him - as flighty as he was and as much as he could disappear and be unreliable, when he was here, he would do anything for his friends. Now he had somehow put down some roots that took even more hold over him. He hadn't even brought beer, though he had been tempted, but he didn't want to be inappropriate should the conversation not be something to drink toward. The driveway was empty as he headed up to the front door and gave it a loud knock, wondering if Avery had cleared everyone out for some reason or if he had taken this opportunity to call him round.
