Welcome to Hickstead, home to both Seven Oak Stables, and Blue Acre - two rival stables. Both offer opportunities for their clients to reach the highest level of excellence. Each stable differs from the other, so choose wisely and never forget, loyalty is everything... Meanwhile as the stables battle it out, there's trouble brewing at the university. Be careful, if you don't pick a side you may get caught in the cross-fire...
This is an chilled out rpg with a super friendly and relaxed atmosphere! Remember to sign up with your characters full name in all caps and don't forget to do your claims! Thank you and Welcome, we've been established since 10th March 2009 but unfortunately have had to close guest view of our boards due to multiple sites ripping off our hard work, such a shame! Come chat to us in Discord before joining if you like!.
"Staying home has it's advantages." Amber gave him a look in response, somewhat sultry and suggestive, and it was very tempting to slip his jacket right back off his shoulders, but they had a date planned and reservations to get to. They'd be home again later. "What? This old thing? You don't think the pants make my butt look big?" Amber chuckled as Mik's usual sense of humour got to her - he could always make her laugh, no matter the mood. "You butt looks huge, I'm very impressed." She teased, though in all seriousness he had a fantastic butt, she should know - she'd stared at it enough.
She rolled her eyes as he pretended to check his watch, "well if you want me to look decent, you know it takes time." Knowing his response was going to be about how she didn't need any time to get ready blah blah blah... and she loved him anyway. "I've got mine, all you need is you." She nodded and kissed his cheek quickly in response, happy to be tucked into his side as they headed down to ground floor. "I thought I'd keep it pretty easy, we'd go somewhere that we know the food is good and the people that work there like us, so less chance of anyone spitting in our food." She smiled, "Guess we're going quite far then," She teased, though she was aware that Mik was both well liked and highly respected..Amber... it depended on who was at the bar.
An incline of her head in response to his words as he helped her into the car. Amber settled into the familiar seat and buckled in. "I can't lie, I'm starving." which meant her appetite was coming back and that could only be a good thing.
She looked up as she felt someone's presence behind her - she'd always been conscious of that kind of thing, people sneaking up behind her. Not that Mik was sneaking. She just seemed to know when it was him, it was like a familiar warmth that came over her, a feeling of comfort rather hair prickling like when it was a stranger. Her eyes caught him and she couldn't help but let her lips curl up at the corners, enjoying the way he was watching her. "If you keep looking at me like that, we won't make it out the door," She warned, because she always had an appetite for enjoying Mik, but even more so when he was looking at her the way that he was. "You look very handsome by the way," she added, her eyes roving over the way his shirt fit his lithe frame.
"I'm ready whenever you are." Amber nodded, finishing up her little touches and reaching to grab her jacket she'd hung up on the wardrobe ready. "Okay, I'm ready," she promised, picking up her purse and slipping in her phone. "Do you have your keys? Or shall I take mine?" She asked, figuring it best to check before they left the apartment with no way to get in. She had done her fair share of shimmying through windows but she didn't much fancy it when they weren't living on the ground floor. Slipping her arms through her coat, she left their home and headed for the elevator, giving Mik a quick smile and going to tuck her arm through his, keeping close to him. She always liked to be close to him. "Where did you say we were going? Or are you still refusing to give up the game?" Amber teased, determined not to be a misery this evening and to get her head back in the game.
Amber had to admit she wasn't wholly in the mood, but she also knew that they both needed this night and that it would be good for them. With everything that had happened in the last several weeks, from Mik ending up in hospital, her ex demanding money and then their plan to hand it over to get rid of him and calling it in as stolen... her stress levels were through the roof. She was having trouble sleeping and if it weren't for Mik plying her with meals, she knew she wouldn't have been eating much either. The only thing that made it better was having Mik with her - without him she wouldn't even be getting the few hours of sleep she was getting. Curled up in his arms with her head on his chest was the only time she really felt safe.
She had taken on extra shifts, throwing herself into work to the point she knew Mik wanted to comment, but he was still hanging on being supportive. It was the only way to quieten her brain, by working extra shifts back to back. She picked up running more too, longer distances, anything to quieten the anxiety eating at her, as if she could outrun the thoughts picking at her brain. They'd talked about a date night and she'd finally relented to not working an evening - the boss had somewhat insisted it in all honesty. She'd requested they do the date night out of town, she felt fresh might be best for them both; some different scenery and different faces. Maybe it would stop her looking for Tristan's face in the crowd.
It didn't take her long to get ready, she went simple but she did make an effort, putting on a little black dress and some small heels. It helped to get dressed up, it distracted her and it put a different spin on the night, a shake up of her routine. Her mood shifted a little, and she found herself bopping a little to the songs she'd put on, her hips swaying as she put on some earrings in front of the floor length mirror in the bedroom. She was almost ready, and she glanced up from her reflection as she thought she heard Mik approach - probably to ask if she was going to be ready any time soon.
"Not any time too soon, I would hope." She heard Mik mutter and she looked from him to Tristan's rapidly disappearing back with a glower. Yeah she sure as shit hoped so too. Sadly she didn't think it would be unless Mik's plan worked. If it did then at least he'd be busy behind bars for a while - until he was released and would no doubt come looking for her again. She didn't want to think about that now, about where she might be when he came about again, she would deal with that when it came to it. The issue would be if this plan didn't work, if he made off with the money and wasn't caught, or got wind of the drama and made an escape. He would come for them then, she knew it without doubt. Honestly, she knew she wouldn't sleep well until she knew for sure where he was and how safe they were.
Amber was surprised by Mik's grin and the kiss, but her response was as natural as breathing, wrapping her arms around his neck and automatically relaxing a little as she always did with him. "Hmmm, how about we head home and do something to erase this from our minds?" She managed a slightly brave smile at that, finding it cute he was already calling this issue as solved and moving on with their life together, she wished she could do that. "That sounds intriguing, what were you going to do to make me forget?" She asked, momentarily distracted, and then she frowned slightly and gave a reluctant chuckle - how he managed to do that, she would never know. He'd taken her mind elsewhere for a minute. "But I meant about him and the money. Do you call it in now?"
"Yes, but it's only money. Mom and Pops have enough to spare, and I'm sure that with our jobs, we aren't exactly short on money ourselves." She shot him a quick look but kept her thoughts to herself. Only people who had grown up with money were dismissive about it. While Amber's parents hadn't been strapped for cash exactly, they'd never been rolling in it either. Her mother had a penchant for fancy things, and money that came in quite rapidly went back out. Amber had been shipped off to boarding school which she knew had cost a bit of penny, but it also hadn't been top of the range - especially going by the type of girls she'd come across there. After she'd been kicked out of that one, the schools quickly nosedived in cost - her mother wasn't going to waste good money on a shit of a daughter like her. Once she'd left home at fifteen, she was out on her ear with nothing to her name, and all her time with Tristan had done little more to get her any further into wealth. Now was probably the richest she'd ever been - not just from her bank account but what she had in life too.
She didn't blame Mik for his nonchalance about money, it was a common conception she'd learnt from people with the stuff, and she didn't begrudge him for it. The thing was, it was just one of those things for her she couldn't agree with the through away comments for - it wasn't only money to her, in the past it had meant the difference between eating anything for the day and going hungry for another 24 hours, or being able to afford a warmer coat because they couldn't afford to pay the heating bills during winter. She knew that money was part of the reason Tristan was the way he was - drugs was a part of that too, but that was all a mess tied up in money. At least he didn't question them, or start trying to count the bills there and then - but that was the bonus to being in public; people would start to question what they were up to if he did and the police might be in attendance sooner than planned.
"You will find everything in there that we agreed to." Tristan gave Mik a long look, and Amber almost stepped forward on instinct, wondering if he was going to try and swing for him. She'd never let Tristan hurt Mik again, she couldn't. Luckily he didn't, he took the bait and settled the bag on his shoulder. "Whatever. You're welcome to her, if that's the best you can really do." Tristan curled his lip, jerking a chin at them both. "I'll see you around." Amber bit her lip, holding back any further comments to encourage him to leave. She didn't take another breath until he turned and melted back into the crowd, and then she let the trembles happen, releasing a shaky breath. "Okay, what's next?"
His chuckle sounded a little flat to her well trained ears - she knew Mik well enough by now to know when he was only on a half level of his usual good nature and high spirits. "Yeah, neither would I. So at least we have witnesses." Which was true, but as Amber spared the passers-by a brief glance, it didn't do anything to ease the tightness in her chest. It would probably stop her ex from doing something too drastically stupid, there was that, but.. and this was going to sound selfish, she knew.. she hated the idea not that strangers would get hurt, but that they might end up privy to an embarrassing amount of private life drama. She was such a private person, preferring to do the arguments and struggles behind tightly closed doors, that it was hard enough to let a stranger see, let alone someone she loved and trusted.
"Nah, there are nearly enough bystanders for this to be a made-for-TV special. In my head, it's a lot more serious than I'm making it out to be." She tried to return his smile but it was more a wince and grimace than anything genuine. "It's a serious amount of money you're just handing over." She couldn't help but mutter, still sour that he was even doing this, whether the plan was it would be returned or not. It was another thing that made her feel uneasy about the whole thing.
She felt the squeeze of Mik's hand, it was the only thing that held her back from either running a mile, or trying to punch Tristan in his stupid smug face. "It's all yours." She saw the curl of her ex's lip as he watched the bag fall to the side. "Surprised you didn't dive for it." Amber commented, practically able to see the dollar signs wracking up his eyes. "Shut your mouth." Was his snap of a response, glaring at the both of them as he slowly bent to retrieve the bag, as if expecting one of them to whip out a gun or something ridiculous. "There better be no tricks. If this isn't real cash, and the exact amount I asked for, you'll regret it." Amber wanted to roll her eyes, but went for gritting her teeth again, squeezing Mik's hand for support. "Take your damn money and leave."
She felt the warm press of his lips against the cold of her hand, a touch of heat against the ice in her heart. It felt like betrayal to do this, which seemed ridiculous, but her brain couldn't help berating her for all her damn mistakes. If she'd never met Tristan, never believed his bullshit and lies, never let him play her, then they wouldn't be here. She didn't understand, even now, how Mik could be so cool about it, so calm and collected, just casually handing over such a huge sum of money she could never dream to have, like it was nothing. Granted, the plan was to get it back but there was that chance it wouldn't - he had to know that, he was an intelligent guy.
"He'd have to be wearing a ski mask and shoot us as point-blank range for him to get away with anything dirty." Amber shot Mik a wary look, "I wouldn't put it past him." And she genuinely wouldn't. He could have anything up his dirty rotten sleeve, he'd played these games many times over the years, he had an advantage over them for that. Amber had always just done what he said, rather than learn to the play the game too. "We've got this in the bag, quite literally, we're just going for a walk in the park." She raised an eyebrow, unable to help but shake her head. "You make this seem like it's just part of a TV police show." Amber sighed, but Mik was Mik, and she knew he was trying to just make her feel at ease.
They reached the meet point a few minutes early, and she chewed her lower lip, standing still only for a moment before she began to fidget, shifting anxiously from foot to foot. He should be here by now, and every second he wasn't made her more concerned that he was up to something. Just as she was about to say they should leave and that he was clearly on a wind up, she heard Tristan speak from behind. "Hello Amber baby," Her hair stood up on end immediately and she shuddered. He barely spared Mik a glance, though he was only too happy to stare greedily at the bag he carried. "You got something for me, there?"
Amber couldn't help feeling like this was a terrible idea. She'd barely slept last night after making the call, even wrapped in Mik's warm embrace it hadn't been enough to starve off the anxiety. She hadn't been able to face eating this morning either, her stomach too turned over in knots to contemplate the idea of sustenance. A coffee was all she'd been able to choke down before standing under the hot spray of the shower for what felt like an hour, almost hoping it would drown her. She didn't like this one bit, but now it was all set she couldn't exactly back out. Everything was in motion, and she was already placing one foot in front of the other to meet Tristan.
He'd been surprised by her call, she could hear it in his voice, his attempt to smooth it over with cold threats that this had better not be a trap and how she was a good girl for admitting she was wrong and for owning up to her mistakes. Words she had not told Mik he'd said. Nor the part about how she would pay for all this bullshit he had put her through. She'd almost laughed at that. Almost. All the shit she had put him through. Laughable really. But he would never see his own faults. He didn't have flaws in his mind. How she had ever been stupid enough to fall for his crap she didn't know, young and impressionable seemed a pathetic excuse given the obvious asshole be presented himself to be. Stupid didn't cut it when she thought of her past self. But now it was time to rectify those mistakes. She just hated the fact she was using Mik's money to do it, putting his things on the line, but there was nothing she could do to stop this.
She'd told Tristan to meet them at midday. She had stipulated Mik was to come with her, even when Tristan had tried to argue. It was him or no money. In the end she'd won that small victory at least. It was the only thing keeping her together, a vice like grip on Mik's hand as they took step by step toward the dragon's den. Neural territory it may be, meeting at the park, but it still felt to her like she was being lured into the Pit. "I really don't like this." she finally admitted out loud, as if her face and her tense posture hadn't said it loud enough. She glanced up at Mik and then away across the park, scanning constantly for a sign that Tristan was already there. "It feels like a trap."
She smiled at his grin - naturally. It was hard not to with him, he had an infectious smile and it tended to melt her just a little - unless her mood had crossed that impassible line. "Make sure you do." She raised a brow at him. "I could even make notes for you!" amber gave a small chuckle at that. "You think I need notes, do you? I'm not sure if I should be offended. I thought I knew most of what you liked by now." She admitted, well aware he was joking, but wondering if he'd come out with something else of a surprise to her. She was a pretty open minded person, and she'd always been one to take constructive criticism if it was needed - though she wasn't aware of any complaints, especially from Mik.
"Should I be taking notes?" She smiled again and gave a slight shake of her head. "You're very hot on note taking all of a sudden. Is there something you wish to tell me? am I missing a few tricks?" She teased, her own humour responding to his in the way it often did. "You know me. I'm all about having fun!" amber made a noise of ascent, glancing at him with a little disapproval, but it was all for fun like he said. It had at least helped her mood, and she was thankful for it. She hated moping, or feeling down, but there were times when it couldn't be avoided.
She tried not to think of his grin as a victorious one - as that was by far not what this was all about, but it was hard not to think it just a little bit. "We should at least get a breather from him." Idealy, she wanted him long gone for good, not just time for a short breath. She wanted to finally be able to get on with her new life with Mik, not have to look over her shoulder anymore. amber returned to kiss, letting it make her feel better once again. "I'd better get to work. Are you going to join me for a run at lunchtime?" She thought about it for a moment, considering no, knowing her head was still somewhat all over the place and she needed to get it straight, but then perhaps a run would be good for it. She nodded after a moment's deliberation. "Okay sure," If only to make sure Mik didn't overdo it and she could keep an eye on him. Plus, she guessed it would help settle him to know she hadn't done a runner whilst he was working. "Have a good day at work."
She heard his chuckle and her smile was automatic once again, unable to help herself. He always had that ability, unless she was really really mad. "The difference, is that I like it when you slap me." Amber's eyebrows rose curiously and she gave him a pointed look. "Well, I'll make note of that then," She admitted, filing it away for future reference. Not that she had intention of slapping him around the face. Usually she would have made that comment out loud and fallen into their flirty banter she enjoyed so much, but her heart wasn't in it in that moment, and her head wasn't helping much either.
"Does it have to be the middle of the afternoon, or can I do that at any point?" She gave another smile, an eyebrow arching once again without even realising it, curious as to whether he had something in mind. "I would encourage any point, there's no specific time." She watched him for a moment, shifting a little in her chair. "I'm wondering if it would be more fun if I don't..?" Amber gave a small chuckle and a shake of her head. "I think we can find plenty of fun easily enough," She retorted, knowing damn well how much fun they could have together from previous experiences. But now was not the time, the topic was serious and they had other things to focus on for the minute. Fun could come later, when her mood hopefully improved.
She saw him shake his head, and she hoped to God he wasn't lying to her. She frowned at the raising of his finger, wondering what he was going to come out with next to try and placate her and her concern. "I kind of threw myself into your issues." She sighed but didn't make a move to argue this time, she didn't think that was true at all, she felt that she'd dragged him into it, but she was tired and feeling low, and didn't want to keep batting the 'blame' back and forth. Suddenly, she was pulled to her feet, and she let him, surprised by his sudden kiss but returning it easily enough. "I couldn't think of a better way to be living my life." Amber kissed him again, feeling some of the tension leave her with it. "I got you!" A slight smile again. "I know you do." And she did. "Alright, I'll let you do whatever you need to do." As if it was her choice anyway. "Not that I like it any better." She added with a firm look.
She managed another smile as he laughed, glancing over at him as she sat back in her chair, finishing off with her breakfast. "While that's great in theory, Naomi's more likely to slap me on the upside of my head and tell me to straighten up my clothes." Amber raised a brow, "And here I was thinking I was the only one allowed to slap you upside anything," She retorted, though she had no real aversion to his boss being involved in that way - she knew how things worked in a business, appearances were everything and you had to dress appropriately to show the right image of the place. She didn't really expect a yard to be any different, though she couldn't imagine things being like that at her cousin's.
Her eyes flickered toward him at his thoughtful look, wondering how he'd take things. She had no issue with planning things, sometimes you had to plan or factor in alone or intimate time with the other half, life got busy and you had to work to make things work. But, she did like spontaneous, a fly by the seat of your pants approach to things too. "Spontaneity?" Amber half smiled, a slightly secretive smile. "Yeah, you know that whole... grab me by the shirt in the middle of the afternoon because you just can't be without me type of thing." She joked, though there was some curious element of truth to it. "Yeah, I think I can work with that." Her smile widened a little, "I hope for your sake, you can." She was only teasing though, she would have him however she could get him.
"Well, technically it's in a spray can. The spray is invisible to to the eye, and picked up under UV-light. I put it on all my horse gear, and my tack trunk has a sticker on it warning people that I have used the dots. Yes, I'd let the police know that it's been stolen and let them deal with the recovery. I'll bring the kit home with me today and you can have a look at what I'm hashing up while trying to explain." She nodded slowly as she listened to him, she didn't care how it worked in particular, as long as it was something she supposed - she just wanted him to be able to get his money back, otherwise she'd be selling her body parts for cold hard cash. "Okay, maybe that's the way to go." It seemed relatively fool proof, or to her at least.
She didn't quite understand his grin, wondering what the joke was - she was being serious. "Contrary to popular belief, it's been something I've been thinking about for a while." Amber watched him take his meds, pleased to see he was still following guidelines in that respect at least. "I think all of... this... Has given me the push I need." She sighed, "Don't say this for my benefit," She said, still unsure if he was trying to make her feel better about things, and not wanting him to be forced into things because of her own stupid past. "Think of it this way, if I come clean, then it should save me from the rumours of why I've been hiding who I really am. The main thing that stops me though, is that you will probably get dragged into my family issues." She rolled her eyes, "As if you haven't been dragged into my issues," She said with a shake of her head. "I guess you can at least control the way the news comes out rather than a surprise.. but I still don't like it. I've turned your entire life upside down." Her lips turned down at the corners, still frustrated with the whole situation.
She pretended to ignore his look as she worked on her toast, though the bread tasted somewhat like cardboard with her hollow state. "So, note to self, I'll look good heading to the nightclub, but could be wearing all my clothes inside-out, and back to front, when heading to the barn" Amber smiled, a little more genuine as she finished her coffee with a final slug. "exactly right, but maybe I'm hoping they'll send you home to me if they see you looking so out of sorts." she teased, trying to slot right back into her usual humour. She felt like she'd need to talk to him about it at some point though, about her trying to leave him, about how she did love him and that was why she'd wanted to run. It was hard to think the words let alone say them, and she couldn't promise she wouldn't be a flight risk and try again some other time.
His grin made her smile, he was too damn boyish when he did that. Looked at her like that. As if she could say no or be mad or sad when he looked at her in that way. "I'll take that. Before or after the movie?" Amber raised a brow at that. "How about some spontaneity?" She suggested. She knew it couldn't be like that all the time, as adults you had to kind of schedule things in around work and life if you wanted to make time for each other. But she liked it best when things just happened...as they often did with Mik, given that she couldn't help herself most of the time.
"That's the things with plans though, isn't it? We don't always know if it is going to work." Amber bit her lip. She would rather this one did work though, so she didn't have to worry about owing Mik thousands of pounds along with everything else he'd lost because of her. "I'm sure that we can dust enough of the money that he'll have some on him when he gets caught, and I can have someone shadowing him once you've given him the bag." She frowned slightly. "What's dusting?" She asked. "Is that like when they dye money? Like in films? Couldn't we call the police and say it's stolen if you did that?" she asked, trying to wrack her brain to work out how they did this crap in movies and TV. Such bullshit. She sighed as he kissed her knuckles, knowing something sweet was coming her way. "I want to do this, because of what's happening to us. It's probably about time I grew up, and stopped hiding from my parents like a rebellious teenager." She shook her head. "But then I've forced your hand. It shouldn't be that way. You wouldn't have been considering it if this hadn't happened. You shouldn't have this force you to change your life. It's not right."
A ghost of a smile as she watched Mik fall for her joke, taking another large swig of her coffee, and then her smile widened as he pouted. He looked ridiculously cute when he did that and a heart string tugged. "I'm now worried that if I had put my top on wrong, you wouldn't say anything." She gave a small chuckle at that, "Of course I'd tell you... if you about to be seen with me." She teased, feeling a flicker of humour as she took a bite of toast. "Don't be, it looks great on you! It would look better on the floor, but I need to head to work soon, so maybe later?" A raise of an eyebrow, her mood was still scattered, but even then she felt a flush of heat at his question. "Yeah, I think that could be a possibility." Not something she would usually turn down with Mik, she relished the chance to be all over him - and had been very good holding off whilst he wasn't well - but the night before's antics still hung over her head.
She took a bite of her toast, chewing as she watched Mik work out his response. "Haven't quite worked all that out yet, but I think my plan might work." She tilted her head, "don't you think it's worth knowing?" She asked, in case they couldn't get it back. Then she'd owe him - whether Mik would admit it or not. She sighed as he took her hand, though the gesture of his thumb soothed her somewhat. "I think we both have that curse. I'll watch your six if you watch mine. I still think that I need to tell people who I really am. At least the people I work with." Amber chewed her lip for a moment, deliberating before answering. "That's your call, but I don't want it to be anything to do with what's happened with me." She said eventually. "I'll feel worse if you do this just because of me, that's not how it should go."
"I get told that quite a bit these days. As long as I don't put my clothes on inside out, I think I'm doing well." Amber gave another half smile at that, "You might want to check your shirt then," She said with a nod toward an imaginary label - he hadn't put it on wrong but she figured she'd mess with him a little; bring back some humour. It felt a bit flat, but she was trying at least. Her smile was a little brighter at the kiss on her cheek however, and she knew it couldn't be bad what he was about to say. "You're wearing the t-shirt that I was sure I had lost at work. It looks much better on you." Amber's eyes almost twinkled a little at that, "Oh, yeah I thought it might be yours... sorry." A tribute to how vulnerable she was still feeling - Amber did not apologise for stealing clothes, especially Mik's.
Amber took a swig of coffee, watching Mik work on his toast whilst hers cooled a little, not particularly hungry. "If this works though, I'll get my money back, and he won't be bothering us again for a while." Amber frowned, confused about his words as she finally took a bite of toast, chewing slightly. "I don't follow.." She sighed, shaking her head. "How will you get it back? He's not going to just return it - if anything once you pay him, he'll keep coming back for more.""It's money out of my trust fund, so technically it's coming from my parents, not me. If nothing else, I want you to be free to live your life. You shouldn't have to live it, always looking over your shoulder." Amber glanced at him but then looked away, down at her plate instead. "You still shouldn't be paying for my mistakes. I'll always be looking over my shoulder for something, Mik."
"I pick boring films? I'm sure that you do most of the movie picking." She managed another half smile at his words, "I think you're confused," but honestly he was quite right; she tried to get him to pick as often as she could but he frequently handed her back the report and refused it. She had enjoyed watching things together with him though, finding a TV show that they both equally enjoyed and settling down to catch up with it tucked into his side.
She caught the raise of his eyebrow at her attire and frowned slightly, glancing down at herself as if to already remind herself of what she'd put on. "What?" She asked, though not annoyed, just wondering what it was about her clothes he was looking at. She mooched over toward him all the same as she asked about helping. When he nodded to the toaster, she changed direction toward it instead. "Can you grab that and take it to the table?" Amber nodded and took the toast out, bringing it over to the table and popping it on to a plate all set up.
Amber hadn't yet sat before Mik spoke again. "Going back to our conversation last night. I still think offering him a pay off is the best way to end his reign." She tensed at first with his words, wondering if he was about to bring up the whole thing about her trying - and failing - to run. She wasn't ready to discuss it yet, still a turmoil of emotions. She swallowed and picked up her mug, taking a long, slow swallow of coffee as an excuse to take her time to respond. "We've been through this before though... I can't afford to pay you back, and once he's got that kind of money, he'll only come back for more..."