Welcome to Hickstead, home to both Seven Oak Stables, and Blue Acre - two rival stables. Both offer opportunities for their clients to reach the highest level of excellence. Each stable differs from the other, so choose wisely and never forget, loyalty is everything... Meanwhile as the stables battle it out, there's trouble brewing at the university. Be careful, if you don't pick a side you may get caught in the cross-fire...
This is an chilled out rpg with a super friendly and relaxed atmosphere! Remember to sign up with your characters full name in all caps and don't forget to do your claims! Thank you and Welcome, we've been established since 10th March 2009 but unfortunately have had to close guest view of our boards due to multiple sites ripping off our hard work, such a shame! Come chat to us in Discord before joining if you like!.
"I know the feeling. But I promise, wild animals couldn't rip me away."
Caleb's smile was soft and tired, "I'll make sure that never happens."
Drew gave a weary chuckle. "Fly a kite, hmm?" he repeated, amused by the turn of phrase. "I'm fine, don't worry about me."
"I'll never stop worrying," Caleb murmured, "Never..."
He shifted slightly in the bed, wincing at a twinge, "Promise me Andrew, you'll take care of yourself - please, promise. I don't want to wake up again to find that you haven't."
He could feel the strain on his eyelids, how much he had to fight them to stay awake. He didn't want to sleep, but his body was demanding otherwise.
"Oh absolutely, I didn't even realise that was an option."
"Hey, what happened there, where did you go?"
Caleb locked onto him, kept him in his sights despite wanting to sleep, "I panicked. Just the thought of shutting my eyes, not seeing you... It hit me strange."
"You need to rest, I'll be right here the whole time. I promise. Nothing bad will happen, I'll make sure of it."
"The only thing I need is you, the rest of it can all go fly a kite in the park," he murmured softly, "You need to take care of yourself too. It's not like I can run out of here and join a marathon."
"You'd better not. I'm not letting you get away from me again."
He felt tired and not completely there, but even so he watched every little move that Andrew made.
"I have a feeling that you'd sooner handcuff me to a radiator than let me leave," he smiled gently.
"Just never do this to me again, and that's all I ask. Never leave my side, Cal, and we can do this together."
He reached up, gently cupping Andrew's cheek, "I promise you, with everything I have, I will not ever - never ever - leave your side again. I'm tired of being alone in the world. There has only ever been you and I was a fucking idiot. I see it. I know it. I want to be wherever you go. From now until always."
He let his eyes shut, they were so heavy, but even so there was a panic in his heart-rate that the monitors picked up on. He forced his eyes open, searching for Andrew, making sure he was still there.
"I don't want to sleep anymore.. but I am so tired."
"The only thing I care about seeing, is you alive and well. Stubble, no stubble, I don't care...as long as you are here, with me. That's all I need."
Caleb's expression softened at the gesture, gently holding his hand in return, "I have no plans on going anywhere, not ever."
Drew relaxed a little at that. "I'm glad, it was...."
Caleb let out a soft sigh, there was no doubt he was going to eventually hear the details from someone at some point and briefly he wonder how his friends were dealing with it - did they know?
He squeezed his hand again gently. "Because it was a serious trauma, Cal. It wasn't good. I thought you were dead. Everyone did."
Caleb looked at Andrew, his expression slightly pained, "I'm sorry I caused everyone so much distress, I just... acted again without thinking."
Drew shook his head but managed another small laugh. "You nearly died but you're concerned for me? I'm okay, Cal, I just needed to know you were okay."
He turned toward him and wrapped his arms around him, kissing him gently as he rested his forehead against Andrew's - "Yes, I will always be concerned for you. For everyone. I am going to be fine, even through the battles to come. I am going to keep fighting to be by your side Andrew, ok? Always. I fucked up once, I'm not letting it happen again."
"Might keep it then," he chuckled softly, wincing slightly.
"We're in the hospital, you've been out for quite a few days....You... pushed me out the way of a car, and it hit you instead of me." He shuddered as the images rushed forward once again. "Why did you do that, Cal... don't ever do that again."
He listened to Andrew talk, half getting swept up in the sound of his voice while the other part slowly turned words into thought and processing their meaning. His face contorted slightly as he started trying to put things together. He remembered little bits and pieces.
"I don't remember that," he said softly, confusion clear in his voice. "I remember telling you that I love you... we were walking the dogs... I don't remember much else..."
He frowned, his head pounding, "I remember thinking I saved you.. then nothing after that." He put his free hand to his head, starting to feel the pain. "I did it because I ... I-I... Why don't I remember anything?"
He had never really forgotten anything, but this gap was a little too much of a gap for him to deal with all at once. He carefully tried to squeeze Andrew's hand a little tighter, looking over at him after a moment, "You weren't hurt, were you?"
"Oh Caleb... Caleb you're awake? I'm really not dreaming??"
His smile was soft as he listened to Andrew, "No, this isn't a dream. I hope not. I don't want it to be."
He reached out for him, little strength to the action, but he knew he needed something physical to reassure himself that this was not a dream, and something told him that Andrew needed the same. He shut his eyes for a moment before opening them again, his free hand carefully rubbing his jaw.
"I need a shave," he mumbled, "A bit too much stubble."
He huffed and smiled all the same, "Maybe you can explain the dull pain in my head right now... or where we are as such..."
He wasn't even sure he wanted the answer Andrew might provide, but it was a filler question. Something to bridge the quietness.
"Cal? Come back to me, Caleb. I need you. You need to fight this - be strong and fight this, and come home to me."
Andy? Is that you? I want to wake up, but I can't. I'm fighting now, but I can't find the wall. I hear you, but you can't hear me and I don't know how to change that. You know, all I fancy right now is a hug. I'd love one, truly I would. I miss that. I miss a lot of things.
Three Days Later...
Andy are you there? Why am I asking, of course you are. Are you sleeping enough? I hope you are. I still haven't found that wall yet, I don't know how to talk to you. You know, it's awful not being able to talk to you. I love you, you know that right? I want to say that again and again. Why am I not able to function Andy? I don't like not being able to see your face.
Two Days Later...
Andy? Andy, my chest feels a little bit lighter now. Is this the wall? Have I found it? I think it could be, I feel an itch on my nose and I need to scratch it. It would be nice if you could scratch it for me, it would. I'm trying to push on this wall, it's stubborn but maybe? I hope there is tea waiting for me, it's been a while I think.
Caleb took a deep breath and let it out with a sigh. He still felt heavy and not like himself, but he felt a lot more aware as the end of his nose itched. It took him a moment to move and scratch it, but the reward was worth it. Carefully he rubbed his eyes, removing the slight crust before wincing at the bright light. He blinked and looked around, the room unfamiliar to him but he wasn't too alarmed once he saw Andrew. His smile was soft and tired, but it was there as he turned his head, wincing at a dull pain.
He was floating in an unsettling way, with no sense of direction. Just echoing vague voices, mostly unfamiliar ones. He wasn't sure if it was real, or if this was all some dream. He couldn't fight it, being dragged down and around, never able to hold onto anything concrete.
"It should have been me. It should have been me lying here, you stupid fool. Why did you have to go and do it. It doesn't make things right, it makes things worse."
Andrew?
What was wrong? He tried to reach out, trying to find a slice of reality against the darkness. What was wrong out there? Why could he not reach out to him? He had things to say, things he needed to do. He had to find a way out of this abyss. He wondered what the voice meant, who was laying where? It was all confusing.
His eyes flickered behind their closed lids and his hand twitched slightly against the bed, a faint movement. The nurses had said he might react to voices, and that at times he might move without it, but it was not harmful and it wouldn't do to get hopes up that Caleb was coming around. Nurses came and went, some of them suggesting Andrew simply talk to the unconscious man, how sometimes that was all it took to help them pull through. They cleaned and dressed smaller wounds dotted around his body from the tumble he'd taken, reassessed his vitals to make sure that it was holding steady.
Nothing made sense as little unfiltered snippets of unseen voices echoed off the walls of oblivion. There was nothing he could do but wonder and think of things he wanted as quickly as it faded.
His body was broken and a machine helped him breathe amidst the tubes and wires that crossed over him. The doctors weren't even sure if he would make it, given the advanced cancer in his lung. He was pale, skin marked with cuts and bruises and scrapes from getting hit by a car. The monitors were slow, yet steady and consistent, and all was still around his unconscious form.
The nurse sat with Andrew, discussing what was wrong, what they were doing for him and how it could easily be days before they allowed Caleb to resurface from the coma they put him in, for fears that the bleed on his brain was worse than the scans showed. It was safest if Caleb wasn't present, kept free of stresses until they knew how he was recovering. It was a guessing game now.
A coffee was carefully pressed into Andrew's hand by a nurse seeking to comfort him in some small way.
"That they can, and I'll be the first to admit I'm as bad as the rest of them," He gave a low chuckle and shook his head.
"I don't believe you," After all, friends didn't take rubbish, they took the truth.
"Of course not," Cal said gently, "I can promise you that I've gone to my doctor and he's sent me for a number of tests now in an effort to find out what they can and see if it's just something simple, or if its more than that."
"Okay, maybe not a wedding if you don't want to go that far but... your commitment ceremony then?" He half grinned.
Cal laughed, "Don't get me wrong, a wedding is a lovely idea, but that is such a distant thing that I can't and won't get my home up for any time soon. A commitment ceremony though, I can imagine that. And of course, you'd be there - there is no life in a room without you."
"Aren't men such a glorious gender," He rolled his eyes.
"Men can be something else to contend with when it comes to emotions," Cal admitted.
"I'll remind you of this when I'm giving you the best man speech at your wedding," He joked, and his smile hesitated at the cough. "Is everything okay?" His mind noted that it wasn't the first time Caleb had had a coughing fit since he'd come in.
Caleb reached out for another tissue and coughed into it for a few moments before nodding, clearing his throat.
"I am fine Eli, honestly," he said, offering a smile, "But a speech at my wedding? I think you are too hopeful. I never truly entertained the thought of a wedding, of being so fully committed to someone."
He nodded at that and blew out a breath. "It is... somewhat of a more pleasant surprise than an unwelcome one, but it had thrown me for a loop all the same." He admitted.
"Thank you," He joked back.
"You're welcome."
Eli frowned slightly, "There is of course someone for everyone!"
"I appreciate the optimism Eli, I do," Caleb said gently.
Eli gave a small shake of his head, "Be positive, Cal, there is the absolute perfect person out there for you, but have you thought about going looking for them?" He asked gently.
"Oh, I've been out there hoping to find someone," he said with a soft grin, "You don't think I spend my nights sitting here on my lonesome do you? I go out to the lounge, I spend a good deal of time there. It's a matter of connection for me, getting to know people, being friends and such - it's how I form my relationships. I don't know how many men I've spoken to at the lounge that were either looking for a night's company or anything to escape their wives."
He leaned on the sink, settling against it, "In time maybe I'll find the right one, it's just a long process."
He turned his head and started to cough again, reaching out for a tissue on the counter beside him to cover his mouth so he wasn't being impolite.
Eli smiled slightly and gave a small nod. "Thank you, I'm not used to not knowing. Things have always been very set, it's the way I am."
Caleb chuckled softly, "Sometimes life will put a spanner in the works. But I think this is slightly more welcome than if your car were to break down suddenly."
"I thought being older meant things weren't supposed to confuse you anymore. I'm meant to have all the answers - or so my son and grandson believe!" He gave a slight shake of his head.
"Well, you would certainly know more than most," Caleb teased gently.
Eli's smile was easy in response. "Thank you." He knew it was an honest sentiment too, which made it all the kinder. "You are a good friend... have you not given thought to perhaps... dating again yourself?"
Caleb turned his head and coughed again, only shaking his head briefly before washing his hands in the sink again. This time, his smile seemed just that little bit more heavy.
"I don't think there is a match out there for me Eli, if I am honest. Too much of a creature of habit," he said, looking out the kitchen window, "If I am so lucky to find that person, well - then fate has intended for me to be happy. Otherwise, it's very likely I'll remain single for years to come. But don't worry on it too much."
Eli half laughed at that and gave a nod in agreement, "Very true - he is not like a woman, not that I am anything short of rusty when it comes to knowing when someone is flirting - gender aside." He gave a small chuckle and then sighed. "It's not like this is a set thing, it may amount to nothing but I certainly feel that there is interest from both sides, and I just wanted help to understand."
"Nothing is ever set in stone, nothing is truly permanent," Caleb said gently, "But you are wise to recognize that. I do wish you to find happiness my friend, I always do. Understanding can be tricky, but I can see why you want to have a better grasp on things."
He half grinned and sipped at his tea, almost finishing it. "He does, this is all new still though, I don't want it to feel serious and I have mentioned to him that this is all new but I do want to see where this is going."
"Then there is nothing more you can do," he gently tipped his head to him, "It will make sense to you at some point, and even if it confuses you, all will work out. Time and patience are the world's levelers."
He stood up, taking his tea cup and plate to the kitchen, setting them in the sink before coughing softly.
"And should you ever have need of more advice, or have other questions you feel you need an answer to, well, you know my door is always open to you. Always."
He washed his hands in the sink before returning to the living room.
Caleb let quiet fill the room as he watched Eli begin to mull over what he’d said. It was surely a shock for the man to suddenly have feelings for a man after having married to a woman. It wasn’t something he could ever fully explain, just retell his experience and hope it gave the other some light at the end of the tunnel.
“I guess at first it was just an interesting pull, he intrigued me, he has a similar view of the world, and then I got to know him a little more and I liked his personality, and then there just became a subtle shift that I liked not only talking to him but looking at him. I liked it when we made physical contact. It feels like a mixture of attraction and feelings beyond that, and if he were female I would understand it immediately, it’s just very different.”
Caleb nodded, “It is something different to experience. It becomes a case of learning and understanding Eli. He is not a woman, and women give off very different … cues, if you will. You’ve spent a good length of time knowing and understanding women that trying to read and understand a man under this light is off putting.”
He watched Eli’s face as he spoke, “If you believe he is right for you, if he makes you happy, then talking to him about this would help too. It can make things clearer between you, but that talk doesn’t need to be today or tomorrow or by the end of the week. When you feel right about it, just discuss it. Or, look into what Demi-sexuality is - I had to look at that when I first had feelings for Andrew all those years ago. It might help to shed more light on the matter.”
