it never got easier, seeing one of his kids sick. he didn't think that would change while he was alive. of course what they needed from him changed as they got older but he would be there, whatever it was they required. he helped sam get settled into the bed and smoothed the covers over him lightly before he went to get the drink for him. his mind was going over things that it could be, what they needed to do and whether it was going to run through the rest of the family like wildfire. of course it was normal, germs were a part of life but if there was something they could do to stop anything spreading, he'd do it. he filled the glass in the bathroom before he took it back to sam, watching him carefully as he took a few sips to rinse his mouth out. "slowly mate." he said as he slowly and carefully sat on the edge of sam's bed. he wanted sam to rest, but he wanted to check a few things first.

he reached out, pausing slightly to make sure that sam saw his hand coming before he laid his hand against his son's forehead lightly. he didn't like how hot it felt beneath his touch. "that's a fever.." he said quietly. he couldn't help the fact his hand brushed some of sam's fringe away from his face. he understood the boundaries that sam had, the reason for them but when he was powerless to fix something, he turned to comfort instead with his kids and sam was no different. "headache?" he asked as he reached to clasp sam's other wrist gently in his fingers, turning it over so he could find his pulse to check on it. "i'll leave you alone in a minute to sleep. i promise." he assured him as he felt the pumping of sam's pulse beneath his finger tips. "who do i ask for at starbucks? i'll ring and let them know you're not coming."

if he was being honest, he wished tonight wasn't happening. it might not have been fair but it's how he felt. he was meeting the girlfriend of his younger son. that in itself wasn't the problem. what he was struggling with was the fact that his sons girlfriend was pregnant. that was the part he couldn't wrap his head around. his eighteen year old son was going to become a father. all the stories about how hard it had been for him and marnie when they'd been young and trying to raise a child while studying, working and keeping their heads above water. the drilling safe sex practices into their kids over and over because it was the better option than blanket banning interactions with the opposite sex until they were in their forties apparently. it was a hard situation to think about because on one hand, he wouldn't trade jack for a second or the struggles that he and marnie had had trying to raise him because it had gotten them to where they were today. if none of that had happened they wouldn't have the family they had now but on the other hand he'd wanted so many different things for jack. for him to have an easy college experience, to up and backpack through whatever part of the world he wanted to, to flit from job to job until he found something he liked. it was what he wanted for all his kids, for them to experience so much of life while they were young.

on some level he knew that he wanted it for them because he hadn't been able to. when he'd graduated there had been no changing his mind about anything, it had been straight into a job because he had to provide for his family, the woman he loved and this baby that had changed their lives. but again if he hadn't taken that job he had, he wouldn't have been able to take this one and move their family here which meant they'd never havd taken sam it. it all snowballed, little choices and big choices all mattered and he knew he was a hypocrite for sitting here not wanting to do this evening with the choices he'd made in his life. he was in the kitchen mixing a salad in the kitchen when he heard the front door open and jack's voice rang out from the hall. he finished with the salad, taking a moment to make sure he was collected before he walked across to where kiara had been sitting on the floor, colouring a very abstract looking dog. "come on bub, let's go see jack and his friend." he said as he settled his daughter on his hip and he walked from the kitchen down the hall towards them. "welcome, make yourself at home." he said as he reached them, focusing his gaze on jade. "i'm kyle."

school runs were never something kyle had been a huge fan of. when his kids had been younger, trying to get them out of bed had been a nightmare, though for some reason that was only on school days. on weekends they'd been up before the crack of dawn wanting to make the most of their school free days. now his oldest were all teenagers and more than capable of getting themselves up on time for their classes, mornings were a lot more relaxed. though when kiara started school he could just see her being worse than her older siblings, purely because she was so good now. he was feeding her the crusts off his toast as he waved his hand at his teenagers as they walked out the back door and he smiled at his toddler. "two down." he said with a quick smile as he reached to pick up his coffee cup but finding nothing but disappointment in the bottom when it was empty.

as he stood up from the table to go grab another cup he caught sight of the family calendar that his wife so wonderfully kept, so she could make sure they were all running their lives right, god bless her. he took a closer look and he frowned a little when he saw that sam had a shift starting in about half an hour. that was odd, he hadn't seen him come down yet. there was a chance he'd gone before kyle had gotten up but he didn't think that really likely. his son had a brilliant work ethic, but he wasn't that keen. he set the cup on the counter and called marnie into the kitchen so she could finish feeding kiara breakfast and he kissed her cheek as she took over from him and he headed up the stairs so he could see if sam was still home.

kyle found himself thinking that sam had just slept in longer than he'd meant to and he'd find him rushing about his room getting ready for the day. but he couldn't help but frown slightly when there was no noise at all coming from the bathroom or sam's room. he didn't usually think the worst but there was something to be said for parental instinct and he felt the familiar worry starting to brew as he crossed to the closed foor of sam's room and he reached his hand up to knock on the door gently before he turned the door handle and opened the door a crack, popping his head through the gap to look into the dark room. "sam?"