Welcome to Hickstead, home to both Seven Oak Stables, and Blue Acre - two rival stables. Both offer opportunities for their clients to reach the highest level of excellence. Each stable differs from the other, so choose wisely and never forget, loyalty is everything... Meanwhile as the stables battle it out, there's trouble brewing at the university. Be careful, if you don't pick a side you may get caught in the cross-fire...
This is an chilled out rpg with a super friendly and relaxed atmosphere! Remember to sign up with your characters full name in all caps and don't forget to do your claims! Thank you and Welcome, we've been established since 10th March 2009 but unfortunately have had to close guest view of our boards due to multiple sites ripping off our hard work, such a shame! Come chat to us in Discord before joining if you like!.
Shaun's gaze was long gone to somewhere beyond the road, to some distant point that no one would've been able to follow. Despite the cool weather, he sat in the beat up old sofa on the front porch in a thin shirt and jeans that had seen better days, just staring at some unknown space.
He was vaguely aware of the fact he'd been crying at some point, but he made no move to attempt to clear them. He'd seen the boys off, and now alone at the house, he did what he could until his shoulder couldn't keep up with him anymore. He hadn't achieved as much as he wished, but the physical pain that was radiating from the area was too much to continue working with.
He held himself awkwardly, legs drawn up underneath himself and ignored the sounds of his stomach growling. His will to eat anything was dead. He was tired but he refused to sleep, trying to mend the rickety and broken bridges with his sons. He'd lost almost fifteen kilos since he'd given up the drink, but he was more sure that it was the fact he was barely eating anymore that was also working against hm. His clothes didn't sit right, and when he looked at himself in the mirror there was a hollow shame that accompanied him, but he couldn't dwell on that. It wasn't about him. He had to pull it together for his sons. Had to be there for the younger ones, force a smile and pretend that he was fine.
He felt the tears prick his eyes again. He was such a failure of a father, of a husband... the anxiety just thinking about how to deal with Keith anymore liked to rear its head, and the depression was a constant lead weight on his heart. He was falling apart quickly at the expense of trying his best to maintain and improve what he could. He knew his sons would never really accept his apologies. That he was sorry everything went upside-down. Fresh tears rolled down his cheeks but he didn't wipe them away. This was just how it was meant to be now.
He let his head fall back against the back of the sofa and shut his eyes, struggling for a moment to swallow the tightness in his throat. A faint sound, broken and choked escaped as his chest shuddered, struggling for air. Pathetic... so pathetic... He could feel his body shaking again, the uncomfortable burn as he tried to stifle the sounds that kept getting free. He brought a hand up to his mouth, covering it, a physical barrier doing nothing to help as he wrapped his other arm around his chest, fingers digging into his ribs... desperate to make it stop and failing.
Eli felt guilty, and he hated feeling guilty. He was a responsible kind of guy who didn't drop his shit, he had things together now, he had it all under control. His son would say too much - too much control, too tight a lease, never letting himself take a break or even a second breath, but that was how Eli liked it. Things had felt a little upside down recently, with his recent feelings for Cal developing into a surprise romance that had really swept him off his feet, and then Cal being in a ship wreck and the amount of emotion that had come from it. It had taken Eli some time to process - not only that his feelings had been so strong for this man but also that fear that came with them, the fear that he had lost another loved one. He couldn't go through it again, and it had almost made him retreat, run away from it all. He'd held strong against the tide that told him to back off, to go back to being on his own, because he didn't really want that.
Those thoughts however had led him to Shaun. He hadn't been by in a week or so, hadn't checked in other than a few texts. It wasn't good enough. He knew Shaun was not in a good way, could feel it through their brief interactions, and he'd known it when he'd last seen him. He made a vow to be a better friend, grabbed a load of groceries, and got in the car. Maybe it was presumptuous, to bring food, it wasn't like he was a chef or anything but he could cook, and he'd even packed up a few boxes of pre-made dinners that Shaun could just stick in the microwave or oven. Much easier. Eli remembered how it felt, to not be hungry, to not want to eat, even when it sat there and was steaming and ready to go. It was hard to put the food in your mouth, especially when you were so full of grief it just tasted like ash. It was something though, the meals that people had brought Eli had kept him going, that and helped him feed his kid, got him eating too because if he didn't, his son would question it.
"Shaun?" He called out, parking the car and hopping out a little too quickly. Something seemed off about the figure slumped on the sofa out the front of the house, but Eli didn't want to make assumptions. He grabbed the bag of food and containers, figuring he could drop them inside at some point, but for now, he dumped them by the front door as he took a seat next to his mate. "Hey, bud..?" He didn't want to startle Shaun, and saying 'you okay' was too stupid. Something was wrong though, and he wanted to help in anyway he could.
