Welcome to Hickstead, home to both Seven Oak Stables, and Blue Acre - two rival stables. Both offer opportunities for their clients to reach the highest level of excellence. Each stable differs from the other, so choose wisely and never forget, loyalty is everything... Meanwhile as the stables battle it out, there's trouble brewing at the university. Be careful, if you don't pick a side you may get caught in the cross-fire...
This is an chilled out rpg with a super friendly and relaxed atmosphere! Remember to sign up with your characters full name in all caps and don't forget to do your claims! Thank you and Welcome, we've been established since 10th March 2009 but unfortunately have had to close guest view of our boards due to multiple sites ripping off our hard work, such a shame! Come chat to us in Discord before joining if you like!.
His dreams had never been the best sort, always an ever changing scene between outright filth and straight out depression, but these dreams were different. They hit hard, made his chest feel tight and heavy like weights were on it. An irregular heart beat made feel ten times worst by the heaviness that came with it. And sprinkled throughout was unusually sharp pains that came and went in strange looping patterns.
It didn't stop the thought of Dei, even though he couldn't reach him in his dreams, he was always a figure in the distance. He wanted to reach out, wanted to make that phone call. Had to. He wanted the dreams to stop, they were getting to be like nightmares, a constant loop of mental torture that was assaulting him.
There was noise that stirred him, like something broke a seal and for the first time he was aware of how dry his mouth was and how stuck his eyes were. But there was noise now outside the muted world of haze and nightmares. He wanted to scrub his eyes but didn't get that response, instead hearing a beeping that hurt his head. And all behind that was a heaviness that refused to let him move in the way that he wanted to.
Forcing himself to open his eyes a little bit, he was greeted by blinding white space - not what he expected to see. Slowly blinking, trying to make things works, he grunted at the jarring pain in his neck when he tried to move it. He tried to see if anyone was around, but he couldn't make out the shapes.
"...Dei...?" his voice was strained, it hurt, but he needed to know who was near.
Dei would never had imagined feeling worse than he already was yesterday. He'd thought he could just about handle Rhett screening his calls, because it was deserved, and Rhett could be off finding someone else who would not do the awful things that he had done. But fate had laughed at him, and handed him this instead. Dei could count on one hand the amount of times in his adult life something had hit him so hard - Rhett's accident was number one. He couldn't sleep. He couldn't eat. He sat at Rhett's beside, his hand curled around one of Rhett's lifeless own, as if his grip on the man's hand would held him keep his grip on reality.
The noise of the accident went through his head over and over again, the sight of Rhett's blood covered face, the way he had looked so deathly still when Dei had reached for him. There was a tiny part of him that whispered this was the reason he didn't care, or didn't get close. But it was too late now, miles too late. He cared, he cared so damn much that it hurt. There was a heavy, painful ache in the pit of his stomach. They had tried to get rid of him at the scene, but he had refused. Travelling in the ambulance with Rhett, staring over him like some terrifying avenging angel. They had tried to turn him away at the hospital, and though he had been forced into the waiting room to stew over Rhett's fate, he hadn't been far. As soon as Rhett was in his room and settled, he'd forced his way inside - charm thrown aside for now - wild eyed enough that they relented - and dragged a chair over to his bedisde where he had sat ever since. He had gotten up only for the odd bathroom break. Someone had pushed a cup of something in his hands - coffee potentially - he didn't even know who. His phone was blowing up, and in the end he'd put it on silent, sick of the noise. All he could do was sit there and stare at Rhett's chest, watching the rise and fall, making sure it kept doing that.
"...Dei...?" He blinked and his head raised in shock. Surely he had imagined that? How had he missed Rhett waking? It took a moment for him to process that he really was awake, and then he let out a relieved, heavy exhale. "Hey! Oh hey, yeah it's me, I'm here." He promised, leaning forward onto the edge of his chair as if to get as close as possible. He raised Rhett's hand to his lips and pressed a kiss to his knuckles - and then another and another in gratitude. He didn't even know if Rhett wanted him here, he probably didn't and if he was sent away he would go.. only to the hallway outside, but he would. He kept Rhett's hand clutched in both of his, "Thank God," He breathed, his eyes flicking to Rhett's face, almost scared of what she would see.
He felt the grip on his hand come through and he tried to squeeze it back, but it was a weak attempt lacking all of his normal strength.
"Hey! Oh hey, yeah it's me, I'm here."
That was Dei's voice, he knew it unlike so many others. The boy he'd fallen for, the one that left. But despite it, he was here and that spoke volumes enough for him. He turned his head as best he could to try and see him more clearly.
"Thank God."
"Where... am I?"
He could guess, but he really didn't have the energy to do so. His mind went to other things quickly, registering and wondering what time and day it was.
"Time? Day? Can't remember if... I took my tablets..."
He tried to move, finding some sensation in his other arm and attempted to shift his body up in the bed but the strength wasn't there. He didn't like this weak feeling, so used to his own leave of control that not having it right now was beyond frustrating and making the monitor by the bed race a little faster.
A flutter in his hand, and Dei's heart skipped a beat - he was there, Rhett was in there and he was coming back to him. He felt the hit of relief like a head rush. He didn't care that the squeeze was weak, it was something, and it was also something to show that he wasn't about to get Dei kicked out - not right now anyway. He tried to shift closer, his eyes searching Rhett's for a sign that he was okay, for a show that he didn't hate him. It was selfish, he knew, to care about whether Rhett hated him right now when he was lying there so hurt, but he couldn't help himself. He didn't want to be sent away, he never wanted to leave Rhett's side again.
"Where... am I?" Dei kissed Rhett's knuckles again, a constant reminder that he was alive and he was awake. He didn't think he'd be ready to let go for quite a while. "You're in the hospital," It was no surprise he was confused. "You were in a serious car accident." He voice caught slightly and he worked to clear it. He hadn't cried yet, he didn't know if he was able to but he felt so wound tight, so busy watching Rhett that he couldn't let go and let the rest of the feelings back in. Terror sat there at the pit of his stomach, but he couldn't release it yet.
"Time? Day? Can't remember if... I took my tablets..." Dei shook his head slightly, "Hey, it's okay, it's alright.." His voice softened, promising Rhett. It would be okay, he would make sure nothing bad happened to him ever again. "You've been out for a day, it's the 20th of October-" He checked his phone, ignoring all the notifications, "at just gone 4 in the afternoon. You don't need to think about your tablets right now." He didn't know what they were for, the nurse wouldn't tell him much as he wasn't a family member. But whatever it was he was sure the Doctor's were aware. "Have to get up..." Dei shook his head, moving forwards so he was barely on his chair at all. He placed his other hand on Rhett's chest as gently as possible. "No, you need to rest, Rhett. I promise, it's okay. I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere. Ever again."
He tried to smile, wanted to reassure him, reach out and touch him more to make sure it wasn't a dream and that all wasn't going to be snatched away again.
"You're in the hospital. You were in a serious car accident."
That caused him to frown slightly, a car accident? It took him far too long to process it. He couldn't remember much, talking to Cora- Fuck. Was Cora in the accident? Or did he crash after? Had to find out...
"Hey, it's okay, it's alright... You've been out for a day, it's the 20th of October at just gone 4 in the afternoon. You don't need to think about your tablets right now."
He took a deep breath and regretted it with a harsh grunt as bright pain flashed in his chest. It was enough to wipe his thoughts clean for a moment... what was going on again? He felt a little clearer, fighting the haze of medications that were in his system.
"No, you need to rest, Rhett. I promise, it's okay. I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere. Ever again."
It took him a moment to register Dei's words, the gravity in them. He wasn't sure if that was true or purely because he was in pain, but right now he settled with the words.
"Need my tablets..." he grunted, attempting to shift again in the bed, "Cora - where is she? I need to know... but-" he sighed, tiredly. "This is a dream, isn't it? If it is, I don't want it. Cause in all my dreams, I could never reach you. And if... if this is really real, I don't want to sleep..."
He felt his chest and throat tighten, overwhelmed as he tried to get his head around everything all at once. He felt tears in his eyes, scattering what vision he had and was powerless to stop them from falling.
That attempt at a smile filled Dei with a little bit of hope, a little bit of sunlight to his bleak and miserable existence. How he could ever had believed he could squash his feelings for this man he didn't know - it would have broken him eventually. He couldn't smile back, not yet. He wasn't over it. Rhett might be awake and talking, but it didn't mean this wasn't still scary. In response, he felt his body begin to shake slightly, and he tried to hide the tremours, tightening his hand a little on Rhett's - gently enough to avoid hurting him. He was in enough pain. sure if that was true or purely because he was in pain, but right now he settled with the words.
"Need my tablets..." Dei shook his head again, and made a mental note to check with the next nurse who came in that whatever Rhett was worried about was in control. "Don't think about it now, please rest...for me." He was banking on a lot with those words. Rhett might not want to do anything for him other than kill him or kick him out, but he would use anything he had in his arsenal to get him to rest. "Cora - where is she? I need to know... but- This is a dream, isn't it? If it is, I don't want it. Cause in all my dreams, I could never reach you. And if... if this is really real, I don't want to sleep..."
He shouldn't have been surprised that Rhett would think it wasn't real, it didn't feel real to Dei and at the same time it felt horrifically real. A terrible nightmare and he was stuck in it. "I'm surprised you would call this a dream, but it's not. This is real." He reached out a hand to touch Rhett's cheek, hoping the careful caress might help him come to terms with this being the reality. "You can sleep, you need to rest, I'll still be here when you wake. I swear, I'm not leaving." He meant it too. Work. School. It could all go to damn hell as far as he was concerned. He could get another job if they didn't understand, he could quit school and give up on his education if they kicked him out. He wasn't leaving. Nothing could make him. "Cora's here, she's down the hall." He had seen her when they'd brought her out of surgery, but he didn't want to upset Rhett any more than he already was. "She's alive."
He visibly shrunk back into the bed, uncomfortable as it was, energy gone for the time being. His eyes shut for a moment. So tired...
"I'm surprised you would call this a dream, but it's not. This is real. You can sleep, you need to rest, I'll still be here when you wake. I swear, I'm not leaving."
"Dream.. nightmare... it's been a blur."
He felt the touch and leaned into it as much as he was able to. He wanted get up, move, assert some semblance of control over the situation. He hand squeezed Dei's again, doing all he could to just make sure that Dei wasn't gone. He felt stupid for it, but at the same time felt like everything was making sense in some way.
"I've slept more than I have all week, I think I can forgo it," he murmured, trying to clear his dry mouth, "If I fall asleep again, it's on my terms... not because of fancy drugs..."
He couldn't hide his anxiety over the lack of control he had. He didn't give that sort of thing freely to anyone, he always had control and right now he most certainly didn't have it as much as he wanted it.
"Cora's here, she's down the hall. She's alive."
He tried to nod, "Good, I think. I should go and see her..."
He tried to muster up the strength to move without success. He hated this, this fucking powerlessness. He found feeling in other parts of his body as he concentrated on it before he registered something wasn't right. He tried to shift his legs, not feeling all that much with them and his panic spiked on him. He made a strangled noise, something between a whine and a growl. There was next to no feeling in his legs, only just able to move his toes a tiny bit. It frightened him.
That fear sparked a rush of adrenaline in his system as he tried to force some movement of his own making, growling in frustration and the monitor beside the bed picked up considerably more than before.
"I can't... I have to..." his voice caught, hopelessness threatening him to make him pass out again, "Dei I can't..."
Injury Notes, for sanity; - Minor Burns to Face [from airbag deployment], Hairline Skull Fracture, Laceration to Forehead, Broken sternum and ribs [3 - surgical fix], Punctured Left Lung [surgical fix], Internal Bleed - Intestines, Pinched Lower back Spinal Cord [minor feeling in legs present], Broken Right Ankle [surgical fix] - other general bruising and cuts present. Unnoticed hairline fractures in hands/wrists.
He watched him relax back a little, but Dei could sense he was still tense. He could understand how it would feel - to feel helpless. It was a feeling he refused to endure anymore, partly why he hated giving control over to other people. He knew Rhett more than most hated being helpless. "Dream.. nightmare... it's been a blur." He nodded slightly, for him it had all been a nightmare. A nightmare with what he had done to Rhett, then a nightmare with being apart from him, unable to fix things between them. And then this, another nightmare. One after the other for Dei. He felt at fault for it. It was his fault that they were here.
An almost smile from Dei as Rhett leaned into it, at least he was happy to accept his touch. Dei couldn't let go of him right now, he was afraid if he did, Rhett might slip away from him - despite not being physically able to. Irrational fears. "I've slept more than I have all week, I think I can forgo it, If I fall asleep again, it's on my terms... not because of fancy drugs..." Dei gave a slight shake of his head. "Your body needs to heal, you need the sleep, even if you don't like it." His brain snagged on his comment about sleep, and he felt that knot of anxiety that he had been the cause of it.
"Good, I think. I should go and see her..." Dei hesitated a little, unsure if that would be a good idea until he knew what state she was in. He didn't want Rhett to feel worse for what had happened, but if she was awake and talking at least that might help. "I'll see what I can do, but not right now." He'd just woken up, now wasn't the time to think about other people. He knew something was going on in Rhett's head when the monitor began to pick up, and he sat up a little straighter, looking him over to try and figure out what had upset him. "I can't... I have to... Dei I can't..." Dei shook his head quickly, and in a moment released Rhett's hand so that he could place both on his cheeks, his touch still careful as he cupped his face. "Rhett stay with me, it's okay. I promise, whatever is wrong, I'll fix it. Just stay with me and breath. I've got you."
"Your body needs to heal, you need the sleep, even if you don't like it."
"Fuck that," he mumbled, "I don't want to sleep."
"Good, I think. I should go and see her... I'll see what I can do, but not right now."
"Rhett stay with me, it's okay. I promise, whatever is wrong, I'll fix it. Just stay with me and breath. I've got you."
Everything was wrong and Rhett knew in an instant that everything was now fucked up. He felt utterly pathetic, a grown ass man reduced to an almost childish nature out of anxiety and fear of what he was experiencing. He was aware of Dei's hands on his face, the words he was speaking... He wanted to calm down, regain that control too, but it seemed far too out of reach.
"I can't move... my legs Dei," he tried to keep his voice in check but there was no stopping the break in it.
Just saying it was like getting bashed in the back with a baseball bat - harsh and jarring. He wanted to sit up so badly, swing his legs over the edge of the bed and get up to prove himself wrong in every sense of the word. Yet there was no strength to be had and his will power was fading, even as he forced his hands to reach for Dei's hands.
"Fuck that, I don't want to sleep." Dei gave a sympathetic look, "I know, but sometimes we have to do things we don't want to." Which hit a little too close to home and he swallowed, feeling a heavy wave of guilt when he thought back once again to what he had done. He needed to apologise for that, to talk through with him about that, but now wasn't the time. "I'll be here when you wake," and he would, if it would help Rhett to know that nothing was going to tear him away right now.
Dei held on to his face, trying to give him comfort and strength through the touch, as he couldn't make everything better just by wishing for it. He would if he could, he would give up everything to give Rhett everything. No matter what. "I can't move... my legs Dei," Dei's already shattered and taped together heart broke again in that moment. He didn't know the extent of his injuries, nobody had come in yet and nobody would tell him, but to hear that break in his voice.
He did the only thing he could think to do that would break him out of his panic. He kissed him. Out of his chair completely, hands still on Rhett's face, he leaned forward to press his lips to Rhett's, trying to pour into the kiss his sorry, his strength, his comfort and promise that they would fix this. When he pulled back, he went to rest his forehead to Dei's. "I promise we'll get through this, you'll be up and about in no time." He would make that true no matter what.
"I know, but sometimes we have to do things we don't want to. I'll be here when you wake."
He didn't know what to do or how to process the fact that he was unable to move his legs. It frustrated and scared him, prompting unwanted emotions. He tried to bottle it in, tried to keep the thoughts of uselessness from being the only thoughts that he had. The kiss was unexpected, but it was a distraction, enough to pull his mind away from what was going on to steal what little air was in his lungs. He kissed back, though the action felt a little awkward to him, but he didn't care.
With Dei's forehead resting on his, he calmed slightly, though the monitor barely seemed to slow.
"I promise we'll get through this, you'll be up and about in no time."
Perhaps it had been the wrong move, he felt Rhett's confusion, and he knew he must hurt, but he hadn't known what else to do to make him calm down, to take his mind off things for a moment. He kept his forehead to Rhett's, taking some calm in it himself. He tried not to think about the last time they were in a similar position - outside Rhett's house, before he had caved. There was irony in it, but now was different, now it was Dei promising Rhett, giving him the answers he couldn't give before - the answer's he should have given. He was here, he wasn't going anywhere, he was giving himself and his life to Rhett.
"You think so?" Dei nodded and finally drew back slightly, placing a soft kiss to Rhett's forehead before pulling back to give him his space again. "I do." He nodded again firmly. "I promise, we'll get you through this. No matter what it takes." He'd sell his soul if he would help Rhett get back on his feet. "But you haven't heard from the Doctor yet, this could be something to do with your surgery or your meds, don't jump to conclusions."
"I do. I promise, we'll get you through this. No matter what it takes. But you haven't heard from the Doctor yet, this could be something to do with your surgery or your meds, don't jump to conclusions."
He offered a slow nod, "Alright."
His chest shuddered painfully as he let out a quiet sigh, "Hopefully- Hopefully someone comes around... soon."
He didn't like waiting normally, and right now while he felt like utter shit, he really didn't want to have to wait longer than necessary to hear someone's verdict.
"I know it sounds- sounds stupid," he grunted, "But I'd like it.. if you could lay up.. with me.. please?"
He felt stupidly needy and desperate, he couldn't think too straight to wonder what Dei thought of his request, but it was all he really wanted right now. He was getting awful tired.
It was then that a doctor turned into the door way, "Good afternoon sir, I'm Dr. Thorne. I'm here to discuss with you what happened, but first I'd like to ask your friend to leave first."
That woke Rhett up and he glared as best he could, "He goes nowhere."
He didn't settle again until Rhett nodded, "Alright." He nodded back, glad he had agreed with him. "Okay," He managed a fleeting smile. "Hopefully- Hopefully someone comes around... soon." Dei glanced to the doorway and frowned slightly. "I could go and find someone? Drag them in here?" He offered. It would be hard to leave him, but if it was something Rhett needed then he'd do it. Anything he needed. He agreed though, that the sooner they knew what was going on then the better. Dei could start figuring out how to help him.
"I know it sounds- sounds stupid, But I'd like it.. if you could lay up.. with me.. please?" Dei blinked in surprise but quickly masked it. "It's not stupid." He hesitated and looked at Rhett and how he was lying. "I don't want to hurt you." He admitted, trying not to show the guilt as always when he said the words - he'd already done that well and truly anyway. He was careful, as gentle as he could be as he removed his shoes first, and then moved a couple of the wires - being ridiculously slow to make sure that he didn't tug anything on him. It took a little while, but he settled on his side right on the edge, a hand under his head, the other on Rhett's arm, rubbing soothingly up and down.
"Good afternoon sir, I'm Dr. Thorne. I'm here to discuss with you what happened, but first I'd like to ask your friend to leave first." He sat up - once again being mindful of Rhett and he glared. "I'm not leaving." Not even if Rhett told him to. "He goes nowhere." He spared Rhett a quick look, relieved he had been right to say no. He would have to be drugged and carried out, even if they tried to pull him out awake they'd never make it.
Carefully he shook his head, "No. They'll get here eventually."
"It's not stupid. I don't want to hurt you."
"It'll be... fine Dei," he yawned, "It'll... be fine."
"I'm not leaving."
Rhett nodded in agreement, Dei was not leaving, "He is important to me."
The doctor looked a little skeptical of that, but nodded all the same, "Well, you are lucky to be awake so soon. You were whisked off into surgery as quickly as we could; a punctured lung, broken ribs serious ankle break and some moderate internal bleeding which has been taken care off by the surgical team. Other scans indicate a hairline fracture in the front of your skull where you hit the windscreen of the car, and your lower spinal cord is pinched."
The doctor sighed, "Minor burns and cuts, uncertain if you have a concussion, but with that head wound we believe it's likely you do. We did our best to stitch that forehead wound but only time will tell now it heals up."
"So.. what do you mean.. pinched spinal cord?"
The doctor made a face, "Honestly, we don't know. It could mean not being able to walk unassisted, it could just be a small set back until your body settles back into place. We don't know if it will right itself, or if we need to look at a rehab routine to reteach you how to walk."
