[HEIDI SCARLETT HUNTER]

JASON EDWARD THORNTON

why did it always hurt when people made sense. after her talk with quinn heidi's head had cleared a little. she didn't know if it had been the pints of ice cream they'd eaten or the conversation they'd had but something in heidi had softened that night and when she'd woken up in the morning she'd decided that she needed to go talk to jason. they needed to work this out. she missed him so much it was painful, dem missed her and she didn't want this to go on any longer. she wanted to be home, in his arms so he could hold her whenever she asked him to. she'd missed waking up to him, going to sleep next to him and she'd even missed that familiar snore he had. so she'd left dem with quinn and arrow for the day and she'd made the short drive to the apartment block.

she should have texted him, called or at least let him know that she was coming over in some way but she'd been worried that she'd chicken out when he'd answered her. she wasn't sure what had changed in her mind but she felt guilty about the way she'd up and left but she couldn't blame it on anything but her own feelings. she'd tried to blame hormones but it was hurt plain and simple. she'd been hurt that jason had accused her of conspiring and then hurt that he'd hidden a potential child from her. she had to admit she thought it had been her chats with both quinn and ashley that had helped but mainly she thought it was just because she missed him.

so she made his way to the door, feeling so strange that she was standing on the other side of it and not just walking into her home. she chewed her lip a little before she raised her hand to knock on the door, loud enough that he should have heard it. a few days ago she'd have knocked and then run on him but she wanted to talk to him today so she needed to glue her feet to the ground. she just hoped they'd be able to actually talk and that the feelings she'd felt the last time they'd run into each other wouldn't surge to the surface again because that was the last thing they needed. she let out the breath she was holding as she waited for him to open the door, ignoring the possibility that people could be watching through their own doors as she stood waiting for hers to open.

[JASON EDWARD THORNTON]

HEIDI SCARLETT HUNTER

Jason sighed as he lounged on the sofa, flicking aimlessly through the TV channels, unable to settle on something to watch. He had tried to stick a film on but been unable to concentrate, and then he'd tried his favourite TV show and that had failed him. He blew out a sigh and checked his phone for the fifth time that hour. Nothing. He frowned, thick brows drawing low over his forehead. He could call her himself, but he felt that after their last talk she should probably come to him. It wasn't even a pride thing, he wanted to talk this out, but considering how she walked out on him, he needed her to come back when she was finally ready to hear him out properly, he couldn't hassle her to do that. But it was driving him a little bit nuts, sitting here bored and alone in the house.

He was unused to being bothered by things. He often fucked shit up for himself, and he rarely cared about it - in the past he would have sabotaged it on purpose to get rid of a girl, and then moved along without a qualm. But this was different. He missed Dem, she would have come and jumped on him by now and he would have grumbled but secretly loved it. It was too quiet in the flat, and he missed Heidi not coming to curl up with him, not in his arms with her head on his chest when he fell asleep. Missed only making one cup of coffee in the morning. It felt weird to have become so dependent considering that wasn't who he was, and it had taken him time to come to terms with that whilst she'd been gone.

Jase had cleaned the flat, he wasn't a messy guy but he did lack the motivation to tidy - but he'd been that unsettled he'd decided it would help keep him busy. It had, for all of half a day. Now he was stuck; all his mates were busy so here he was moping. And then the knock on the door. He frowned and heaved himself to his feet, pausing the TV despite the fact he wasn't even focusing on Schitt's Creek. "Coming," He called, unbolting the door and then blinking in surprise at the person standing there. "Heidi," He hesitated, a part of him wanted to ask if she'd comeback to yell some more but he stomped it down. "Do you want to come in?"

[HEIDI SCARLETT HUNTER]

JASON EDWARD THORNTON

it felt like forever between the knock on the door and the turning of the handle. it would have been her perfect chance to run, to get the hell out of there and to take what felt like the much easier way out. this was going to be a difficult conversation no matter which way it turned, whether she and jason kept it civil or whether they blew up at each other and it turned into a screaming match between them. either way was just as hard as each other and she wasn't looking forward to getting down to the crux of their issues because she knew that it might take a little while to get there. she ran her hand through her hair, having left it loose because it's how it had felt the most comfortable this morning while she'd been getting ready, smoothing the the hair after she had done that. as soon as the knob started turning she took a deep breath, ready to see the man she loved, the man she'd run from days ago and the man she wanted so desperately to see.

and then there he was, standing there in the open doorway of the apartment they had shared for years now. standing in the doorway of the home they'd built before they'd both even realized they'd been doing it. it had been the little things that had made it a home, such as the memories that they had together like both bending under the sink to see what pipe had burst at two in the morning, making coffee for each other in the mornings when they were both too grouchy to ask for it, family meals of pizza shared on the couch in front of movies that both her and jason thought were silly but were willing to watch them because they made dem laugh, dem creeping into their bed in the middle of the night and them both making the space for her to sleep without a word to each other. that's what made it her home and right now she was missing one of the very things that meant she wasn't there.

they both seemed to hesitate when he opened the door and while she couldn't be sure what his reason was, hers was that he might not accept the apology. they both had a stubbornness in them that in the past had been willing to let people go rather than admit their own wrongdoings but she wanted this to be different. she was there to apologize for her part and to see if he wanted to talk to her. to let her come home where they all belonged together and she was terrified that he'd say no. when he asked if she wanted to come in it was like something snapped in her spine and the tension she'd been holding onto just left her and her shoulders sagged slightly in relief as she leapt forward and she threw her arms around his neck tightly, having needed the contact with him in that very moment, even though she couldn't help saying "well i didn't come here to stand in the doorway." she said, a little choked up but trying to sound as normal as she possibly could.

[JASON EDWARD THORNTON]

HEIDI SCARLETT HUNTER

It was horrible how awkward it felt between them in that moment, and it took everything in him not to steel himself and walk away. It was his go-to response to things, to whenever he had found things a little tough with relationships. To just give up, to push them away, get rid of them; for this awkwardness. Granted, he rarely got to this point because he just had never really cared - aside from Ashley, his only relationships had been with drugs and alcohol, but things changed. Now he was having to face the tough side of it, and he hated it... but he was doing it. He almost felt the tension deflate a little as he offered her to come in; which also felt odd given that it was her home too, but he assumed as she hadn't just walked in, she wanted the invitation.

"well i didn't come here to stand in the doorway." His lips twitched, his expression softening a touch. He felt wary, waiting for the attack, but that was a good sign and so he stepped aside so she could come in, going to shut the door behind her. "Do you want a tea? Coffee?" He asked and then he figured he may as well ask the rest, "Wine, beer?" He added with a small snort. He was tempted by a beer, or a whisky - not for the alcohol to cloud his judgement or mood but to help settle things. Instead, he did the good thing and grabbed the kettle - somewhat reluctantly - added a little extra water and sticking it on to boil.

[HEIDI SCARLETT HUNTER]

JASON EDWARD THORNTON

she saw his expression soften and she felt the tension in her own shoulders relax a little. anyone looking at them would probably think they were about to face off but they both probably knew a little better. his face hadn't changed much but she noticed the ways it had. the corners of his eyes weren't as hard as they had been, his mouth hadn't been set tightly and his jaw had loosened just a little and it had been enough for her to see it. that's how well she knew the face of the man in front of her, that no matter what she could almost always tell what he was feeling. although there had been this disconnect between them the last few days and there was this worry that it might break them further than they could piece it back together but the fact he hadn't slammed the door in her face and he'd invited her in meant, to her at least that meant that he was willing to talk to her.

"just tea please." she said as she stepped over the threshold, feeling at home instantly as she did. she let out a soft breath and put her bag down on the table in the hall as she always did when she walked through the door because she was notorious for losing her keys so she'd made herself learn the habit and at least the break hadn't ruined it. "whiskey would be great but i think it's frowned upon." she smiled a little as she leaned her shoulder against the doorway to the kitchen, watching him with the kettle. "this might be a stupid question but, how are you?"

[JASON EDWARD THORNTON]

HEIDI SCARLETT HUNTER

"just tea please." He nodded and took down another mug - her favourite mug - putting in the teabag and pouring in the water once it was boiled. He let it marinate for a moment, stewing as much flavour as possible before he squeezed the teabag and removed it, adding a dash of milk as she liked and then handing it over. "whiskey would be great but i think it's frowned upon." He gave a half smile at that and nodded, "as tempting as it is, it's probably not a good idea to add alcohol to this equation." He admitted - tempted himself but knowing it was more likely to put him in the wrong mood for this kind of conversation. He'd eithe get pensive and brooding or he'd get angry and sarcastic and just make it worse.

He took a sip of his tea even though it was still scalding. "this might be a stupid question but, how are you?" It was a stupid question but he understood where she was coming from and so he gave a half shrug, a little bit noncommittal, answering with a careful, "I've been okay, how are you?" He asked in turn, looking her over. He hadn't really been okay, he'd struggled - lashing out at people or avoiding them all together. He had been a grumpy bastard with a short fuse than normal but he was treading a cautious line; he didn't want to set things off by saying he'd been kinda miserable and then her getting set off angry or upset by that. "Shall we go sit?" He asked, nodding to the lounge as he shifted his weight. It seemed like the sort of adult conversation you did sat down facing each other. Also it might be best if nobody had quite such quick access to the knives.

[HEIDI SCARLETT HUNTER]

JASON EDWARD THORNTON

she took the cup as it was offered to her and she wrapped her hands around it. her hands had long since stopped feeling the burn from things that were painfully hot to the touch. the amount of times she'd touched the wrong thing, brushed her fingers against a hot part under the hood of a car or just stripped them of all feeling trying to get lids off bottles of engine oil. but she felt the warmth through the cup and it was comforting to her in the moment. she had to agree, alcohol would only make this situation so much worse. oh it might help to start with, loosen them up, help them relax but it would let them skate over the problem, to let their tongues fly quicker and add further fuel to the already hot fire between them. so this was very much a tea conversation, at least for now. she was glad he said he'd been okay, she didn't quite believe him though. if he was anything like she was he'd been miserable but she wouldn't push the point, it wasn't why she was here.

"i've taken the whole eating for two saying a little too literal." she said as she took a sip of the hot liquid from her cup. "i think i've eaten enough ben and jerry's for a lifetime." she said with a small smile as she looked across the kitchen at him. it was that very conversation with quinn that had given her the courage to come over to see him today, to talk through what their problem was rather than just let the two of them pull apart from each other because it was the easier option. she nodded when he asked if they should go sit down and she walked from the kitchen to the living room, settling herself into her favourite spot without thinking too much about it. it was still her home after all, even if she didn't feel like it at the moment. "so i'll just .. start i guess?" she said as she chewed her lip. they could sit here and do small talk till the cows came home but it wouldn't solve anything and it wouldn't bring her family back together.

"i spoke to ashley." she told him, wanting to be totally honest with him. she'd gone to her friend so she could get the whole story, even though to her it was still going to be very much a he said she said situation, but she trusted jason to tell her the truth now she was asking him about it. "she told me her side of the whole thing, that you guys had some sort of relationship but she chose damon." she wouldn't delve too far into it if jason didn't want to. that wasn't the part that had hurt her, it was the part where he'd lied to her about thinking he had a son. "i don't care about that though, i don't care about your past jase." she said softly as she leaned forward to sit the cup down on the table in front of the lounge. "i care that you hid the fact you think josh is your son. did you think i wouldn't understand?" she asked him, the only feeling in her voice was questioning, she wasn't here to start an argument. she was here to understand.

[JASON EDWARD THORNTON]

HEIDI SCARLETT HUNTER

"i've taken the whole eating for two saying a little too literal." He involuntarily glanced to her growing bump and a flicker of a smile appeared. "I think that's allowed," He said, if anything he would quite happily feed her up with whatever she asked for, she was growing a human after all and he knew that was not easy business. "i think i've eaten enough ben and jerry's for a lifetime." "Is that possible?" He knew she liked the stuff anyway, he found it a bit too sweet and could only manage a few mouthfuls before he passed it on but he made a note to put some in the freezer.. whenever they sorted out this tangled mess they'd gotten themselves into. It felt awkward and stilted, this conversation, but it wasn't the type of territory Jason was used to navigating and he was treading as carefully as he could to avoid setting off the bomb's inside either of them. "so i'll just .. start i guess?" That was good, and so he gave a slight nod, watching her and steeling himself slightly for whatever might come next.

"i spoke to ashley." He had been expecting something like that, since he had found out they were friends, but he still tensed all the same, clenching his jaw and then forcing himself to relax it so he didn't look angry. He understood why she'd done it, even if he didn't like it. "she told me her side of the whole thing, that you guys had some sort of relationship but she chose damon." He made a conscious effort not to look frustrated this time, of course Ash would have said her piece, as she loved to spew bollocks about their relationship whenever it was mentioned. He didn't speak for a moment, waiting for the rest of it. "i don't care about that though, i don't care about your past jase. i care that you hid the fact you think josh is your son. did you think i wouldn't understand?"

He clenched the cup in his hands, biting his tongue to avoid saying something he would regret about his past - everyone had one, it couldn't be helped. "No, not really." He gave a small shrug, that part of things hadn't really occurred to him. "The past is complicated, and Ash will always see things differently. Denial is a wonderful thing." His slight smile was bitter, and had a bit of an edge but that was what happened when you didn't like someone anymore. "I'm used to dealing with stuff on my own, and that part of my life has always been... separate to the rest of it. I don't bring my friends into it either, it's... my burden. My shit. I just.. automatically separated it from everything else." He sighed, "I didn't mean to hurt you, I didn't even think about it in that way. I can't be certain he's mine, I didn't even know they would come back here, and suddenly there they were and there was this kid that just undeniably looks like me, and would be around the right age... and I just had to know for sure what was going on before I could figure out the next bit." He frowned slightly, "It was better to know and then tell you, than to uproot things only to then flip them back if Josh is Damon's and say 'don't worry false alarm'." He shrugged again, his mind had always been a bit fucked up anyway.

[HEIDI SCARLETT HUNTER]

JASON EDWARD THORNTON

she saw the flicker of a smile on his face and she couldn't help the one of her own, her hand moving subconsciously to rest on her stomach gently, cradling their child that was growing within her. "my doctor might have a different opinion." she joked a little, not sure if it would help the situation but it was easier at the moment. she was sure she'd gained a kilo or two from the ice cream but she'd never regret it, it was better than trying to keep her figure at the moment, that was a problem for later, not now. "oh i can tell you it is." she said with a small smile again. it was small talk but it was progress. it was jaded and a little jarred but it was happening and they weren't trying to rip each other's throats out which she was going to call a win, at least for now. although she hoped that it wasn't going to boil down to that again, she really didn't. she wanted to come home, she knew that dem wanted to come home and she missed being together.

she was glad when he let her talk without trying to interrupt or tell his side, at least not yet. he was listening to her and that was worth more to her than anything else. they needed to communicate, to get this out in the open so they could talk and discuss rather than yell and scream at each other to have their points heard but not really listening to each other. she could see how hard it was for him, which made it mean all that much more to her. it meant he was trying, he wanted to work things out with her and even though they weren't in a great place right now it just made her love him all that little bit more.

she listened when it was her turn to and just like he had it was hard not to say anything back to him, even though she wanted to let him know that it would have been okay, she'd have handled it and helped him but it wasn't the time, not while he was getting this off his chest. there was one thing she couldn't help but do though when he finished talking to her. when he'd said what he'd needed to say. she lifted herself off the couch and she crossed to him and she rested her hand on his back gently before she sat down next to him. "i know you didn't mean to hurt me." she said softly, believing with her whole heart that he'd meant that. "i also know it's easier to separate things but we're in this for the long haul. so i just want you to remember that i'm here okay? that whatever is going on in your life, you can tell me and i'll be there. it's what a relationship is, or so i've been told." she said with a small smile. she didn't want to tell him he'd been wrong because it wasn't about that. it was about moving forward and moving forward together.

"i get that it might have felt easier to tell me after the fact. and as badly as i reacted i can't say i'd have done any different." she said as she chewed her lip. hindsight was 20/20. she'd been hurt and she'd felt like he'd kept this from her because he didn't trust her with it but the rational part of her brain had told her that had been wrong. but the raging hormonal part of her brain had been stronger than any other part. "i'm sorry i flew off the handle. i'm sorry i left without talking to you about it." she said softly as she looked at him, wanting nothing more than for him to wrap his arms around her in that moment but she wasn't sure he was ready for that yet. there was still a lot for them to sort out and talk about. "you need to know that whatever you want to do, i'm here for you. if you want to find out, we'll fight to find out."

[JASON EDWARD THORNTON]

HEIDI SCARLETT HUNTER

He caught her smile and relaxed a little more - okay this was good, so far no yelling still. "my doctor might have a different opinion." He shook his head slightly, "any doctor getting at you for weight, whilst you're literally growing a person, doesn't deserve a PHD or whatever they have," he rolled his eyes. He didn't like Doctor's in general but he knew he had to like it and lump it to know Heidi was okay, and the baby. "oh i can tell you it is." He smiled but didn't argue with her, he was sure it was possible if you were hungry enough and then made yourself feel sick with it. Most people tended to get bored of things if they over-eat or drink them. Though he couldn't say he felt the same about Bourbon.

He was relieved they managed to take turns without chewing each other out. This was what he'd wanted in the first place, but now was not the time to bring that up - he didn't want to start anything now. He wanted to fix things between them, not widen the chasm. He stayed put as she wandered over, a little wary about what reception he was about to get - but the hand on his back settled him a little. Okay, so she wasn't about to smack him for his behaviour; good to know. "i know you didn't mean to hurt me." He wasn't so sure of that, it sure had felt like she thought he meant to do it. He hadn't though - he'd hurt people intentionally in the past, but this was not one of those times. "i also know it's easier to separate things but we're in this for the long haul. so i just want you to remember that i'm here okay? that whatever is going on in your life, you can tell me and i'll be there. it's what a relationship is, or so i've been told." He nodded, "I do get that, but I'll admit sometimes I forget that. It's always been me for a very long time, I've always been selfish, sometimes I forget things will affect other people and that it's okay to share weight." He admitted, which was a lot for him in itself. He didn't share much with people, not even his friends. He had always internalised stuff - even now.

"i get that it might have felt easier to tell me after the fact. and as badly as i reacted i can't say i'd have done any different. i'm sorry i flew off the handle. i'm sorry i left without talking to you about it. you need to know that whatever you want to do, i'm here for you. if you want to find out, we'll fight to find out." His turn to listen, and he was quiet, swirling the drink in his hand for a moment after she finished, before he took a sip. "I'll try to be better at sharing, but you may have to accept sometimes I'm not very good at it - but it's not to hurt you, or leave you out." He looked at her. "I know she's your mate," His mouth twisted a little at the word, "and this is gonna suck for you, but I want to know if he's my kid. He can stay with her and Damon, I'm not a complete asshole..anymore. I'm not going to fight to take him away, but I want to know, and I want an opportunity to spend time with him. In some way." He frowned.

[HEIDI SCARLETT HUNTER]

JASON EDWARD THORNTON

for the first time in what felt like forever, she felt herself relax. the tension that she'd been carrying faded from her shoulders and for the first time since she'd left in anger, she felt like she could take a proper breath. it was something, that they'd both been willing to sit down and listen to each other. they hadn't had many real fights in the past, more like battles of stubborness while trying to wear the other one down but this had been the worst, the most painful and the one she'd worried might have been enough to break them apart. because as much as she'd wanted to fix it, there had been the fear there that it wasn't able to be fixed. but the fact they both wanted the same thing? that had put her at so much ease, even if they still had to talk about the hard things.

"just know that i'll always remind you i'm here." she said softly. she couldn't imagine what it could feel like to know that there was no one there, to feel you had no one to rely on. she hated that he'd been through it and while she couldn't change it, she could be the constant shoulder for him, ready when he was ready to need it. she felt her gaze soften as he promised to try and get better at sharing with her and she couldn't ask for anything more. she just nodded softly at that, knowing that she didn't need to say anything to let him know she understood, because she did. now.

he wanted to fight. she'd been sure he would, and she couldn't fault him for it. if josh was his child, then he deserved to know about it. "she's my friend and i don't want to hurt her." she admitted to him but it wasn't the main thing and nor was it the most important thing in this situation. "but i'm on your side first. ride or die right?" she said with a small smile as she nodded a little. "i told her that if you wanted to know whether he was your son or not, that i'd support you."

[JASON EDWARD THORNTON]

HEIDI SCARLETT HUNTER

He saw the moment she relaxed and it helped ease the tension of his own thrumming through his shoulders. He hadn't known what to expect with this, half anticipating a fight that neither one of them really wanted to put up anymore. He could give as good as he got, fight like the best of them, but after a time even Jase got tired by it, especially with a loved one. He hadn't really known it before, that bone deep exhaustion that came from arguing with someone you truly loved, but he didn't want to experience it again. It was hard for him to give and take sometimes and he'd learnt it was something he needed to work on, that was new for him, so was the fact that he even wanted to make the effort and change himself for someone.

"just know that i'll always remind you i'm here." He gave a brief smile at that, glancing at her. "I know." and he did, deep down he knew that, it was just hard for him to remember it sometimes and to accept it. That he didn't need to always go it alone and it was okay to ask for help or guidance or just a little bit of support. He saw her nod and he was grateful for that, nothing more needed to be said, they understood. This part still felt a little tricky though, and he trod cautiously, not wanting to upset the careful peace treaty they were slowly putting into place here.

"she's my friend and i don't want to hurt her." He sighed, but for the situation, not her words. "I know, and I'm sorry for that." for his other half, not for Ashley. He only cared for Heidi and how it felt for her. "but i'm on your side first. ride or die right? i told her that if you wanted to know whether he was your son or not, that i'd support you." He nodded, trying to suppress the slight twinge of annoyance that they'd already had conversations about this without him. But perhaps it was an advantage if Heidi was Ashley's friend, it probably seemed a bit like exploitation but it might get Ashley to see his side of the circumstances a little clearer. After all, she'd chosen to fucking run off to the US without telling him or his support, he hadn't told her to go, hadn't said he wouldn't help her. Whether he would have at the time he couldn't say, but the kid was damn well his and now he had a point to prove. "Alright, then you'd better be prepared for things to get a little bit messy. You might see a side to old Ash you don't like." he warned.